Child’s Life Stage: Emerging

Recognising Everyday Champions of Family

Strong families do not happen by chance, and neither do family-friendly companies. Behind every thriving family is often a network of support – workplaces that make room for family life, businesses that support their people and their families through difficult times, and companies that choose to stand behind something larger than their bottom line. 

This year, Focus on the Family Singapore recognises companies that have demonstrated a meaningful commitment to strengthening families through the cultures they build, the people they invest in, and the partnerships they choose to nurture. 

The Corporate Award honours organisations that have gone beyond policy to embed family as a core value. This year’s featured nominees – Ohmyhome, Dian Xiao Er, and Select Group – each bring a distinct approach shaped by their industries and identities. While their methods differ, they share a common conviction: Strong families are foundational to a flourishing society and organisations have a real role to play in building them. 

Ohmyhome 

Why does your organisation champion families? 

As family members and homeowners ourselves, we know what it means to have a family that holds you together and how much of that depends on having a safe, stable place to call home. Because home is where relationships are nurtured, values are formed, and children feel secure. It’s why we live by the core value: “It starts at home.” 

Ohmyhome’s founders Rhonda and Race Wong 

Yet we also know how that kind of home can feel out of reach for many families – too complicated, too expensive, and as if it was not meant for them. That’s why we built Ohmyhome around the belief that every family, regardless of income or background, deserves equal access to safe, trustworthy and affordable property services. 

How do you create a family-friendly culture? 

As working parents ourselves, we understood early on what it feels like to wonder whether your family life is truly welcome at work. From the early days of building Ohmyhome, we were intentional about making sure no one on our team ever had to feel that way. 

That meant making room for family literally – office spaces designed so colleagues can bring their kids in comfortably, meeting rooms that double as play areas, and regular “Bring-Your-Family-to-Work” days. When a child is sick or an unexpected situation comes up at home, our team knows flexibility is never going to be a difficult conversation. We also believe time with family shouldn’t need a reason. For every year a team member has been with us, they earn an extra day off to relax and spend time with their family. 

But more than any specific policy, what we want every person on our team to feel is that they never have to choose between their family and their career here. 

  Family Day at Ohmyhome’s office 

What impact have you seen on families? 

One of the most meaningful impact we’ve seen is watching our team thrive in both their work and family lives. Something an employee shared captures it well, “Never have I felt the need to choose between my family and career, because my company values family just as much as I do.” 

That sense of security plays out in everyday moments. Parents who stepped away to care for a sick child without guilt. Colleagues who supported an elderly parent knowing work understood. On days when there was no one to look after their little one, they brought their child into the office and got through the day together. Our people get to be dedicated professionals and present parents at the same time. 

Without the pressure of having to choose, our team brings more focus, more engagement, and more heart to what they do. 

How has your organisation supported or partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

Ohmyhome has partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore as a corporate sponsor of Charity Golf: Drive to Help Families Thrive. Through our sponsorship, we support initiatives such as FamChamps Junior, a programme that equips preschool children with the values and conviction to build strong families. 

What drew us to this partnership is how naturally it extends our own mission. At Ohmyhome, we walk alongside families at one of the most significant moments of their lives – selling their home and starting fresh in a new one. But the work of nurturing values in children, strengthening marriages, and building resilient family relationships is where Focus on the Family Singapore has decades of expertise. Supporting that work allows us to play a part in strengthening not just the homes families live in, but what is built within them. 

How does Ohmyhome hope to contribute to a more family-friendly Singapore? 

Organisations like Ohmyhome have the reach and resources to strengthen families at scale. We do so through the cultures we build, the communities we invest in, and the causes we stand behind. For us, that means continuing to build a workplace that genuinely makes room for family life, finding ways to serve families beyond property transactions, and partnering with organisations doing the deeper work of strengthening families. Because we believe a truly family-friendly Singapore is one where no family is left behind, and that’s a future we’re committed to build.

Dian Xiao Er 

Why does your organisation champion families? 

At Dian Xiao Er, we believe family is at the heart of every community. Our restaurants are designed to be more than just places to enjoy meal, but are also warm, welcoming spaces where loved ones come together, reconnect, and create meaningful memories. This belief sits at the core of our philosophy, “Happiness with Strength,” where true happiness is rooted in strong family bonds and meaningful relationships. 

This commitment extends inward too. Guided by our value of “Everyone Matters,” every employee is respected and valued, and play an important role. We therefore strive to create a caring, supportive environment for them. We believe championing families begins with how we treat the people closest to us. 

How do you create a family-friendly culture? 

We intentionally design our dining experience to be family friendly. We offer children’s meals, provide colouring activities that encourage screen-free interaction, and create a warm ambience for families. These initiatives were prompted by a simple observation: families today face more distractions than ever, particularly from digital devices. We wanted our restaurants to be a space where families could genuinely reconnect over a meal. Beyond the dining experience, we organise family-oriented campaigns which include our Parents’ Day initiative: “Hug Your Parents, Bring Love Home,” which encourages customers to cherish family bonds and express appreciation to their parents.  

Colouring materials for child diners 

Internally, we support our employees through fair scheduling practices and a caring work culture, recognising that many of our staff balance work with family responsibilities. We have also introduced a zero-interest housing loan programme for eligible employees, supporting their long-term stability and well-being. 

Family gathering over a meal at Diao Xiao Er 

What impact have you seen on families? 

Our Health Promotion Board-certified children’s meals have given parents greater confidence in their dining choices, knowing their children are eating balanced, nutritious food. That peace of mind matters to families, and it reflects our commitment to their well-being beyond just the dining experience. 

We have also seen families make Dian Xiao Er a regular part of their lives, returning not just for meals, but for gatherings, celebrations, and quality time together. Many customers share that they value having a warm, family-oriented space to come back to. 

Internally, our zero-interest housing loan programme has helped employees better manage their housing needs, reducing financial stress and allowing them to focus on both their careers and their families. 

Dian Xiao Er hosting a celebration with their staff 

How has your organisation supported or partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

Our partnership with Focus on the Family Singapore has allowed us to extend our impact beyond the dining table and into the broader work of strengthening families. We are a regular sponsor for their yearly Charity Golf fundraising event, contributing dining vouchers to all participating golfers. By supporting their initiatives, we contribute to a movement that aligns closely with our own values – one that encourages stronger family bonds and more intentional relationships. This reinforces our role not just as a restaurant brand, but as a community partner committed to family well-being.  

How does Dian Xiao Er hope to contribute to a more family-friendly Singapore? 

Organisations like ours can shape a more family-friendly Singapore through the everyday environments we create and the cultures we build. For Dian Xiao Er, that means continuing to design dining experiences where families can genuinely reconnect by offering healthier meal options, child-friendly initiatives, and campaigns like “Hug Your Parents, Bring Love Home” that celebrate family bonds. 

Internally, we remain committed to supporting our employees with the care and stability they need to thrive both at work and at home. Because we believe strong families begin with supported individuals, and that is something every organisation has a part in building.

Select Group

Why does your organisation champion families? 

At Select Group, we believe that when families thrive, communities prosper. When communities prosper, they support the long-term sustainability of our business. That conviction is captured in our core value: “We work with one heart and as one family, striving to achieve greater heights”. 

This belief shapes how we approach our people too. Our mission to Invest, Train and Care for our employees reflects a recognition that a person’s well-being at home and at work are inseparable. We strive to foster a culture where employees feel valued and supported in their roles at work and at home. 

How do you create a family-friendly culture? 

At Select Group, we believe that supporting our people means supporting their families too. In everyday life, that means building consistent support into how we work – complimentary staff meals, skills development, and career progression pathways. We seek to strengthen employees’ career growth and job stability, enabling them to provide more secure and sustainable futures for their families. During festive seasons, we also send employees home with treats to share with their loved ones. 

When life gets harder, we show up differently. When a staff member faces a health challenge, we reduce their working hours by half while maintaining full pay, understanding both their recovery needs and their responsibilities at home. 

Through our Select Bursary Award, we recognise employees’ children for achievements in academics, sports and skills, with families invited to celebrate together. We believe in nurturing and encouraging the young, as they are the next generation. 

The Select Bursary Award recognises employees’ children for their achievements while nurturing the next generation. 

What impact have you seen on families? 

Some of our most meaningful impact has come from easing the everyday pressures families face. Through our partnerships with Community Development Councils, we have sponsored over S$1.2 million in meal vouchers through the Value Meals programme. This programme aims to help thousands of families manage cost-of-living challenges through accessible, affordable meals within their estates. 

Select Group managing director Vincent Tan poses with the Value Meals @ South West vending machine 

Our support of the Kreta Ayer Senior Activity Centres since 1997 has provided over 300,000 meals to needy seniors, easing the caregiving burden on their families. Since 2008, we have collaborated with the Kreta Ayer-Kim Seng Citizen’s Consultative Committee to sponsor a reunion dinner for around 1,000 underprivileged residents each year, creating opportunities for family bonding.  

Beyond practical support, we invest in the next generation. Since 2012, we have organised annual educational excursions for underprivileged children, broadening their exposure and supporting their development. We believe in nurturing young talent and have collaborated with polytechnics and universities to award book prizes to outstanding students and provide valuable internship opportunities within our company. 

We also support sports development through our partnership with the Singapore Bowling Federation, where our staff and their families participate in friendly competitions that translate into donations for the federation. Together with our staff and their families, we volunteer in CSR activities and give back as one big Select family, strengthening bonds while making a positive difference in the community. 

How has your organisation supported or partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

We are proud to be a longstanding partner of Focus on the Family Singapore, supporting its mission to raise Family Champions of the next generation. Since 2023, we have been a key sponsor of the FamChamps programme, providing nutritious full-board meals for approximately 100 youths at each 4-day, 3-night FamChamps Camp Experience.  

We also sponsor the dinner for Honour Night, a highlight of the Camp Experience where the youths share a meal with their parents and/or caregivers. This meaningful platform helps attendees deepen their family bonds through activities that encourage reflection and open communication. Many families leave with strengthened relationships and a renewed commitment to supporting one another. Through this partnership, we have extended our impact beyond individual participants to their families and wider communities. 

How does Select Group hope to contribute to a more family-friendly Singapore? 

We have the ability to directly influence the daily lives of our employees and their families through workplace practices, community partnerships, and the opportunities we create as we grow. As our business grows, our workforce grows, and more families benefit. 

Guided by our core value of “One Select, One Family”, we aim to continue expanding skills development and career progression pathways, enabling employees to achieve long-term financial stability and security for their families. We remain committed to strengthening employee welfare and benefits, and to fostering a workplace culture where employees are valued not just as workers, but as individuals with family responsibilities. 

Beyond our walls, we will continue deepening partnerships with Community Development Councils, social service agencies, and community organisations to support families in need. We seek to build on our longstanding initiatives in senior care, youth development, and family support programmes, while encouraging greater employee participation in community initiatives to strengthen the connection between workplace values and societal impact 

We hope to play an active role in shaping a Singapore where families are supported and empowered to thrive.

Building Strong Families, One Company at a Time 

While their industries and approaches differ, Ohmyhome, Dian Xiao Er, and Select Group share a common thread: A deep belief that strong families are worth investing in, and organisations have the reach and responsibility to make a difference. 

As nominees for this year’s Corporate Award, their stories highlight the many ways organisations can shape family-friendly cultures. Because ultimately, building a family-friendly Singapore takes more than good intentions. It takes organisations willing to act on them, one decision at a time.

Recognising Everyday Champions of Family

While love and resilience are built at home, families cannot thrive in isolation and are often strengthened by the communities around them. Communities such as charities, churches and non-profits offer support, encouragement and practical help. 

This year, Focus on the Family Singapore honours community organisations that have placed Family at the heart of their mission. The Family Champion Award for the Community category celebrates those who strengthen marriages, equip parents, and nurture children through programmes that ripple outward into society. 

Our featured nominees, Bethesda Bedok-Tampines Church (BBTC), Bridging Hearts, and Qijia Familyworks Asia (QJ), each show how community organisations can become spaces of belonging and anchors of resilience for families across Singapore. 

Bethesda Bedok-Tampines Church 

BBTC is a local Christian church that strengthens families through its congregational ministries, kindergarten, and community services arm.  

How did your organisation’s journey begin? 

At BBTC, we have always believed that strong families are the foundation of a strong community. This conviction has shaped both our ministries within and beyond the church.  

Through initiatives such as our Together Forever Marriage Conference in 2025 and our 40th anniversary community outreach efforts, we intentionally seek to strengthen marriages and support families from all walks of life.  

Together Forever Marriage Conference in 2025  

How does your organisation intentionally foster a family-friendly culture? 

We believe that strong families are built when people feel supported and encouraged. Through such programmes, we aim to cultivate meaningful relationships within our community and beyond. 

Through Bethesda Bedok-Tampines Kindergarten (BBTK), we partner with parents to shape character and support children in their formative years. Our commitment to families also extends into the wider Bedok community through Bethesda Care Services (BCS). Through programmes such as BCS @ College East, YouthSpace, Family Services and Welfare Services, we journey alongside children, youths, and families facing financial, relational and emotional challenges.  

By adopting a holistic family-centred approach, we seek to deepen parenting capacity, nurture resilience in children and youths, and provide coordinated support for families in need.  

Family Uplift Programme  

BBTK Gathering   

What impact have you seen? 

One of the greatest joys has been seeing how support for one person can bring change to the whole family. 

Through BBTK, parents have found friendship and support beyond formal programmes. Some mothers first met through their children’s education, but over time, those connections grew into a community where they could walk with one another through different seasons of parenting and family life. 

Children and youths have also benefited from having safe spaces and systems in BCS, as well as caring adults that help them grow in confidence and resilience. BCS has also been able to provide practical help and care for families going through difficult seasons. 

What we have seen is simple but powerful: when parents are supported, the whole family is strengthened. When mothers and fathers feel encouraged and less alone, children grow up in homes where they feel secure.  

How have you partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

Through our Family Ministry, we have utilised many of Focus Singapore’s resources, such as the Connect2 Marriage Assessment and parenting materials to mentor couples and provide practical guidance for parents. We have also supported Focus’s wider initiatives, including marriage preparation programmes and family-focused events.  

We are grateful for the opportunity to work together in building stronger marriages and families in Singapore.  

What impact do you hope to make? 

Our vision is to be a church that cares not only for those within our walls, but also for families in the wider community. 

We want to strengthen marriages, support parents, nurture children and youths, and build communities where families do not have to walk alone. When families are strengthened, communities are strengthened too. 

Ultimately, we hope to leave behind a legacy of strong families and strong communities that will continue to impact future generations.  

Bridging Hearts 

Bridging Hearts is a non-profit organisation dedicated to strengthening marriages and families. They equip and mentor couples across Singapore, helping marriages thrive through relationship-centred support.  

Bridging Hearts’ annual gathering in 2025  

How did your organisation’s journey begin? 

Before we were formally registered as a non-profit organisation in 2020, we had already spent decades working with children and families.  

As we journeyed with children affected by family difficulties, we began engaging parents more intentionally and discovered that many marriages were struggling. Over time, we came to understand that supporting marriages was one of the most effective ways of strengthening families and supporting the next generation.  

This conviction led us to pursue training in marriage mentoring and eventually equip others to do the same.  

How does your organisation intentionally foster a family-friendly culture?  

One of the key ways we do this is by investing in people who have a genuine heart for marriages and families.  

Every marriage mentor we train is first mentored themselves before undergoing formal training. This ensures they experience firsthand the value of being supported and journeyed with before they begin serving others. We also encourage our mentors to prioritise their own wellbeing. By caring for our mentors first, we enable them to care more effectively for the families they support.  

We also place a strong emphasis on relationships. Rather than focusing solely on solving problems, we seek to genuinely care for and journey alongside the couples we mentor. We often remind our mentors that while problems may eventually pass, relationships remain.  

Marriage Mentor training in May 2026 

What impact have you seen? 

We believe couples get married because there is love and affection. Yet somewhere along the way, many couples find themselves struggling with communication and trust.  

Through marriage mentoring, we create a safe space for couples to address both the seen and unseen issues in their relationships. These conversations often lead to greater understanding, renewed connection and, in many cases, a rekindling of love. Our marriage mentors serve as a compass, helping couples benefit from the wisdom of those who have gone through similar experiences.  

Over the years, marriage mentors trained through Bridging Hearts have mentored more than 2,500 relationships. We have also trained more than 500 marriage mentors and conducted Marriage Preparation Courses for more than 100 pre-marital couples.  

Perhaps the most meaningful part of this work is the stories we hear from couples. One married couple shared that “mentoring helped them work through long-standing communication, trust and parenting challenges, leading to significant improvements in their relationship.” Another engaged couple described how the “openness and hospitality of their mentors gave them a realistic and encouraging picture of married life, helping them prepare for the journey ahead with greater confidence.”  

Role play during Marriage Mentor Training in 2022 

How have you partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

One strength of Bridging Hearts is our network of trained marriage mentors.  

Over the years, we have supported Focus by helping identify suitable couples for programmes, events and training opportunities. We have also supported the publicity of their initiatives through our network and helped connect faith communities with marriage mentoring resources.  

What impact do you hope to make? 

We believe that when marriages become stronger, families become stronger. Strong families, in turn, contribute to stronger communities and a more resilient nation.  

Looking ahead, we hope to continue strengthening marriages and equipping more couples to journey alongside others. We also believe that no single organisation can meet every need. We therefore hope to see greater collaboration and support among community organisations.  

Together, we can build stronger marriages, families, and a stronger Singapore.

Qijia Familyworks Asia 

Qijia Familyworks Asia (QJ) is a non-profit organisation that supports families through culturally attuned parenting programmes, counselling services and community-based initiatives.  

By creating safe spaces for parents and children to reconnect, QJ helps families strengthen relationships and navigate challenges before they reach crisis point.  

Parent support group and community 

How did your organisation’s journey begin? 

Our journey into this work was born less out of a grand strategic vision and more out of sitting in heavy spaces with parents who loved their children fiercely yet felt untethered and alone.  

We encountered parents navigating family life while carrying the added weight of migration, language barriers and intergenerational cultural divides. It became clear that these were not simply individual struggles, but signs of a larger gap in accessible, culturally attuned support that spoke to the realities of these families.  

As we witnessed growing concerns around children’s mental health and increasing disconnection between parents and teens, we knew we needed to focus on prevention rather than crisis intervention.   

How does your organisation intentionally foster a family-friendly culture? 

Our programmes are built around three key pillars: relational priority, radical accessibility and cultural relevance. We create safe, non-judgmental spaces where parents and families can reflect, learn and support one another.  

Alongside workshops and community programmes, we provide professional counselling services that help families navigate challenges with cultural sensitivity and care. Through hybrid delivery models and multiple language options, we strive to keep support accessible to families from diverse backgrounds.  

We view parents through a lens of strength, not as ‘problems’ requiring a quick fix. We practise what we preach by embedding flexibility into our own organisational rhythms, accommodating family schedules, and ensuring our support does not abruptly vanish when a formal programme concludes. It’s about weaving a net of genuine belonging.  

Parent support group and community 

What impact have you seen?

One family’s journey often comes to mind. The family had become deeply fractured by unspoken expectations and a widening generational divide. The parents, who had worked tirelessly to provide for their family, felt disconnected from their teenage child. Their child felt misunderstood and overwhelmed by expectations. Although they lived under the same roof, they existed in entirely different emotional worlds.  

Through our culturally attuned support and structured programmes, we helped create space for honest conversations and deeper understanding. Family members began to understand the fears, hopes, and love that sat beneath their conflicts.  

One particularly moving breakthrough came when the parents learned to listen to their child’s inner world rather than simply correcting behaviour. There was a softening of defences, tearful moments of mutual recognition, and the eventual restoration of warmth in their home.  

Stories like these are powerful reminders of the resilience families possess when they are given a culturally safe space to heal. 

Parent support through family activities 

Sexuality education for youths 

How have you partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

We are honoured to serve as Focus Singapore’s dedicated Chinese-language partner.  

Through this collaboration, we provide culturally attuned parenting programmes, support groups and counselling services for Chinese-speaking families who may feel more comfortable receiving support in their native language. We also adapt Focus’s evidence-based resources to better resonate with the cultural realities of Chinese-speaking households.  

Focus has also helped connect families to our services. Together, we have seen how combining broad reach with culturally relevant care strengthens the family support ecosystem in Singapore.  

What impact do you hope to make? 

Looking ahead, our vision is to weave culturally attuned and accessible parenting support into the fabric of Singaporean society.  

By partnering with schools, social service agencies and grassroots organisations, we hope to reach families earlier and equip them with the tools they need to thrive. We believe support should not only begin in times of crisis but serve as a preventive foundation that builds resilience over time.  

We are also committed to expanding our reach through hybrid delivery models and training community facilitators, making support more accessible and responsive to diverse needs. 

Building Strong Families, One Organisation at a Time 

While their journeys are different, Bethesda Bedok-Tampines Church, Bridging Hearts and Qijia Familyworks Asia share a common commitment: Investing in the well-being of families and creating communities where people can flourish. 

As nominees for this year’s Family Champion Award (Community) category, their stories demonstrate the many ways organisations can strengthen families, whether through building supportive communities, equipping marriages, restoring family relationships or providing culturally relevant care. 

Their efforts have strengthened homes, empowered parents, nurtured children, and inspired others to invest in the well-being of future generations. 

Ultimately, strong families are not built by individuals alone. They are strengthened by communities that choose to walk alongside them, one relationship at a time. 

Allowing My Daughters to Chase Their Dreams

A friend once asked me: “What careers would you say ‘no’ to if your daughters chose them?” 

The question stopped me. Before I had kids, I had always envisioned myself as the “cool dad” who would be supportive of their choices. Becoming a father has humbled me. My wife and I are the ones most responsible for the wellbeing of our two young daughters — and that naturally includes ensuring their physical and emotional security.

How then do I balance my desire for their wellbeing and their desire to pursue their dreams? 

I wrestled with this question as I watched Dream Stall — a film about a daughter trying to follow her dream of running the family’s bak ku teh (pork ribs soup) stall, and her dad trying to stop her out of love. He had sacrificed years running it to fund her education, never wanting her to inherit that life. It brought my fears to the surface. How would I react if my girl told me she wants to be a hawker, a professional musician, or an overseas missionary? I mean, how will she make enough money to survive? 

Watching that tension on screen made me realise how much simpler parenting feels when the danger is clear and immediate. It is easy to say, “Hold Daddy’s hand when crossing the road!”, or “Watch where you are going!” But as they grow older, the dangers become less obvious. And it’s not as though we can shield them from it all. Anything worth doing involves a certain amount of risk and hardship. 

Difficulties, if faced with courage and grit, can also become valuable life lessons. Not letting my daughters overcome them by their own strength would be doing them a disservice. After all, it is the conquering of obstacles that makes success sweeter — every hard-won achievement carries a satisfaction that an easy path never could. 

I too experience a great swell of pride whenever I see my daughter doing difficult things. Recently, my elder girl and I were at a playground with higher-than-usual elements. She is extremely cautious by nature, and I was all ready to hold her and guide her through. But she surprised me: “Daddy, don’t help me! I can do it myself.” And she did! I reminded her what being brave meant: to do something even though we are scared. 

“Daddy, don’t help me! I can do it myself.”

That moment helped me realise that my role may not be to step in, but sometimes to step back and allow them to learn to manage life’s challenges on their own. 

Yet in those heart thumping moments, I pray that my girls will grow up being confident in my love for them. I hope to support them in whatever they pursue, and should they “fail” in their endeavours, I will be there to catch them. 

Perhaps my role as their father isn’t to steer them towards safe choices, but to be their source of security — giving them the confidence they need to chase their dreams. And following my girl’s example at the playground, I must learn to be brave too: to let my daughters live their own lives, even though it is a scary prospect for me as a father. 

Maybe that’s what it means to be a parent: not to decide their dreams, but to stand behind them as they chase their own. 

Recognising Everyday Champions of Family

Relationship builders and nurturers can be found in the everyday: Individuals who stand for and exemplify a heart for Family, because strong families do not happen by chance – they are built through intention, resilience and the choices of those who prioritise relationships amid life’s demands. 

This year, Focus on the Family Singapore recognises individuals who have made a meaningful impact in strengthening families, whether through their influence at home, in the workplace, or across our wider community. 

The Family Champion Award for the Individual category honours those who have demonstrated a deep commitment to nurturing family life, creating environments where relationships can thrive, and inspiring others to do likewise. 

This year’s featured nominees, Darius Lee, Samuel Lim and Yvonne Kong-Ho, each bring unique perspectives shaped by their personal journeys. While their paths differ, they share a common conviction: Strong families are foundational to a flourishing society. 

DARIUS LEE, Cultivate SG 

When Darius observed shifting attitudes towards marriage and family from a declining interest in starting families to rising divorce rates in his 20s, he felt a growing conviction to take a stand. 

What began as a personal concern has now grown into a steady stream of pro-family engagements. Through his writing, public engagement, and his work as Executive Director of Cultivate SG, Darius  consistently applies his passion into thoughtful action. 

How did you get started? 

I was first spurred to strengthen families when I was in my 20s. I saw the developments taking place within my social circles and in society including declining interest in marriage and family, rising divorce rates, and other challenges and controversies surrounding the institution of family. 

As someone who believes in the foundational importance of family to society, I felt that I needed to do more to speak up for the institution of marriage and family. 

What has your journey been like? 

Since my 20s, I have been advocating for marriage, family and children through my writings and interviews, which have been published in mainstream media and elsewhere. 

More recently, I have taken on the role of Executive Director of Cultivate SG, a non-profit organisation that supports the values of marriage, family, children, and social harmony. 

Within the organisation, we have staff at different stages of life. Some are parents of young children, like myself, while others have elderly parents. We aim to live out our values by implementing family-friendly workplace practices. These include flexible work arrangements and an overall culture that is understanding of each person’s needs and stage of life. When necessary, we adjust timelines and schedules to support one another. 

What impact have you seen? 

Left most: Darius moderating Cultivate SG’s Unfiltered Conference in 2024; second from left: Delia Ng, CEO of Focus on the Family Singapore as a panellist.

Cultivate SG held its inaugural conference, “Unfiltered – The Whole Family Conversation,” in November 2024. We were grateful for the support of Focus on the Family Singapore from the beginning. 

Delia Ng, CEO of Focus on the Family Singapore, joined the conference as a panellist on the topic of divorce. The conference brought together participants from diverse backgrounds and created space for meaningful conversations about family issues. 

Since then, Unfiltered has become an important voice on topics relating to family. For example, our 2025 conference addressed narrow definitions of “success” and how they impact families. This has since become part of broader conversations around Singapore’s education culture and parenting pressures. 

How have you partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

One impactful initiative was Family Future Makers (FFM), which ran for the first time in 2025. I’m grateful to have partnered with Focus Singapore to engage and equip a new generation of young people who are passionate about family. 

Through FFM, participants gained insights into real challenges facing families today, such as low fertility rates and an ageing population. They were also encouraged to consider how they can contribute to strengthening families through their personal lives, education, and careers. 

More significantly, it gave me renewed hope to see many young people who are keen to make a difference for families in their communities and in society. 

What impact do you hope to make? 

With global uncertainties, record-low fertility rates and a rapidly ageing society, there are many pressures affecting families in Singapore. There are also ongoing challenges and debates surrounding the institution of marriage and family. 

Yet, family remains one of the key pillars of support in society. 

Instead of responding with fear, anxiety or despair, I believe we need a renewed sense of faith, hope and love, faith beyond here and now, hope for the future, and love that involves sacrifice and putting the needs of others before ourselves. 

SAMUEL LIM, Educator 

For Samuel, the importance of strong families was shaped early at home. Watching his parents intentionally progress in their parenting styles, he saw firsthand that strong families are built over time, with effort, learning and commitment. 

With nearly 30 years of working with youth, he has witnessed one consistent truth: Family plays a pivotal role in shaping every young person’s life. 

How did you get started? 

It began at home. My parents were intentional about parenting, and they raised my sister and I using Focus on the Family’s resources, particularly James Dobson’s books. We watched them learn and grow alongside us over the years, as the books on their shelves changed from Bringing Up Boys/Girls, to Dare to Discipline, to Praying for Your Adult Children. 

In my time working with youth, I often saw a clear reflection of the family in the child. It reinforced a vital truth: Families are not perfect, but they are deeply influential. To help them thrive, the wider community must play an active role in supporting them. 

What has your journey been like? 

In my workplace, I try to balance organisational needs with personal priorities when supporting colleagues. 

I often remind them that while work matters, family is something we will never regret prioritising. I create space for honest conversations about navigating work-family tensions and, where possible, lend support in practical ways so they can contribute impactfully but not at the expense of family time. 

Even in the workplace, we can create a culture that feels like a community looking out for one another. 

What impact have you seen? 

One of the most meaningful initiatives has been introducing the FamChamps programme in our school. 

We started in 2019 with a small group of students, adapted through COVID-19 with initiatives like the Family Bingo Challenge during Circuit Breaker, and eventually expanded across multiple Secondary 1 cohorts. Over time, we saw meaningful shifts – students expressing deeper appreciation for their families, gaining the language to process family challenges, and stepping up to mentor others. 

We’ve also launched FamChamps Unite, a student-led community to sustain this culture, championed by representatives from each batch of FamChamps. 

Most importantly, we’ve seen positive changes in how students relate to their families and that has been the most meaningful impact. 

Students set up a booth at the Sec 1 Orientation to emphasise the importance of family to the incoming Sec 1s. 

Second row, extreme right: Samuel joining his students as they were commissioned as FamChamps at FamChamps Awards in 2024.

How have you partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

My journey with Focus on the Family Singapore has largely been through FamChamps, as a mentor, volunteer, and advocate. 

Apart from mentoring, I’ve supported Focus Singapore’s initiatives such as State of the Family, charity events and outreach programmes like Date with Dad. These experiences allowed me to see the broader work being done to strengthen families. 

More directly, I’ve shared with other educators about how FamChamps has made a positive impact in our school and encouraged them to adopt similar approaches. Whenever the opportunity arises, I encourage schools to integrate FamChamps into their curriculum in a sustained way so that we can strengthen family relationships across schools and impact generations, one cohort at a time. 

What impact do you hope to make? 

Families today are more complex, and many feel overwhelmed. 

I remind students that while they cannot choose their circumstances, they can choose how they respond. Every interaction matters. 

Strong families are built over time, through everyday choices, and each of us has a role to play in that. 

YVONNE KONG-HO, Singapore Institute of Technology 

For Yvonne, the desire to strengthen families is an intrinsic one. Having seen the tensions and struggles that can arise when support systems are lacking, this has shaped a lifelong conviction that strong marriages and nurturing family environments are essential yet often require intentional effort and guidance. 

Today, through her work as an educator, mentor and advocate, Yvonne seeks to equip individuals, especially young adults, with the tools, perspectives and hopes to build healthy relationships and thriving families. 

How did you get started?  

Having gotten married at a rather young age of 24, I believe in the importance of strong marriages and the power of raising children in a loving, supportive environment. But I also recognise and understand how that journey can be fraught with challenges. Many people tend to struggle silently rather than seek support.  That’s why I feel a strong desire to encourage and support couples, parents, and young adults, especially those who are fearful or uncertain about starting a family, to know they don’t have to walk this journey alone.  

What has your journey been like? 

I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to work closely with young adults in my roles at local universities.

I’ve been intentional about going beyond career coaching to have conversations about life, relationships, marriage, and family responsibilities. Many students are already thinking about how to balance career ambitions with future family life, and they often feel unsure. I share openly from my own experience, getting married young, raising children while pursuing further studies, to show that while it’s not easy, it is possible. 

Even small decisions matter. For instance, I made it a point to leave evening work events early to spend time with my children when they were younger, and over time, students noticed. These moments became opportunities to demonstrate what it means to prioritise family in practical ways.  

In my teaching, I also weave in relationship skills such as communication, conflict resolution and understanding personality differences because these are critical not just at work, but at home. 

What impact have you seen? 

One initiative close to my heart was developing and implementing the module Managing Human Relationships Professionally at a local university.

We observed that while students were academically successful, many appeared to have challenges in their relationships, unsure how to communicate effectively, navigate conflicts or approach dating and marriage with confidence. 

Through this module, we equipped students with practical skills such as communication, conflict resolution, and understanding relationship dynamics. Students responded very positively, sharing how the lessons helped them in both personal and professional relationships. 

Years later, some have shared how they applied what they learned in real-life situations, including challenging workplace relationships. While the outcomes may not always be visible, I believe these skills have a lasting impact on how they build relationships and families. 

How have you partnered with Focus on the Family Singapore? 

Through the years, I am thankful to have been a part of these efforts with Focus on the Family Singapore: 

  • Partnered with multiple Focus Singapore staff members to co-teach and contribute to a graded module at a local university
  • Featured as Focus Singapore’s first podcast guest (Jan 2020) 
  • Took part in two CNA938 radio discussions, facilitated by Focus Singapore 
  • Joined a Facebook Live session as guest speaker during the COVID-19 season  
  • Served on the “Solutions for the Family” panel at State of the Family 
  • Participated in a parenting fireside chat at a FamChamps camp (with my daughter) 
  • Conducted a fireside chat with the FamChamps Council 
  • Invited Focus Singapore to speak at a local university, introducing students to family and relationship topics alongside career development 
  • Facilitated a local university’s Marketing partnership to support Focus Singapore’s programmes 
  • Joined Focus Singapore as a guest speaker at their weekly Team Time to bring encouragement to the staff 
  • Continued to advocate for families through CNA commentaries on parenting, marriage and family life 

 Yvonne sharing as a parent and educator at a Facebook Live session during COVID.

Yvonne with Focus’ staff after her sharing at Team Time.

What impact do you hope to make? 

Marriage is precious, and families are something we should cherish deeply. 

In the busyness of life, it’s easy to give our best to work and leave the rest for our loved ones. But strong relationships require effort, sacrifice and intentionality. 

My hope is that more people will choose to invest in their families, to love deeply, communicate openly, and build relationships that are resilient and life-giving. 

Because when families are strong, society as a whole becomes stronger. 

Building Strong Families, One Life at a Time 

While their journeys are different, Darius, Samuel, and Yvonne share a common thread – a deep belief that strong families are worth investing in. 

As nominees for this year’s Family Champion Award for the Individual category, their stories highlight the many ways individuals can shape a family-friendly culture, through advocacy, education, mentorship and everyday decisions that prioritise relationships. 

Their efforts have strengthened families, influenced communities, and inspired others to take intentional steps towards building healthier homes. 

Because ultimately, building strong families begins with individuals and the choices they make, one day at a time. 

How to Build Family Resilience in Uncertain Times

At a Glance: 

  • Families can stay resilient by facing financial pressures honestly 
  • Making budgeting a family practice can teach children about limits, priorities and planning for the long-term 
  • Learning what is “enough” can help families choose contentment and to live well within our limits. 
  • Simple habits like thankfulness can help keep families grounded  

For many families today, conversations around spending have become more careful and constrained. Rising prices for essentials like food, transport and utilities mean that more households are paying closer attention to everyday spending.  

In times like these, what does it mean to be a resilient family? One thing is for sure – it’s not about pretending that things are fine and dandy; neither is it about pushing through stoically without feeling. But it’s about adapting thoughtfully as a family unit, and staying emotionally steady through the process.

Making budgeting a family practice 

Resilience is cultivated in the ordinary moments that shape our home life. 

Take budgeting for instance. It is not just a financial task that we can approach logically and coldly. The way we make money-related decisions sets the tone for how our children understand budget and limits, especially in uncertain times. 

Here are some ways families may be curbing their spending: 

  • Cooking more meals instead of eating out 
  • Delaying non-essential purchases   
  • Comparing prices together   
  • Going to neighbouring countries for holidays 

To be honest, I was never a budgeting person – until I met my husband and he introduced me to the beauty of a budget spreadsheet. Still, it took me years to understand why we ever needed to have a budget and to track our spending monthly. The tool came in handy when we had to seriously consider having one of us stay home to care for the kids when the trio were all under the age of six. We were able to work out our sums rationally, and come to a reasonable budget that would not eat into our savings, and yet allow us to be present with the children in their formative years. 

Today, our children are all teens, and they understand what we mean when we ask, “What’s your budget?” When times are tighter, we are also able to explain our budgeting choices calmly, such as by saying, “We’re choosing to cut back now because it helps us take care of our family’s needs in the long term.” 

Our children learn over time that having a budget isn’t a dampener on our lifestyle, but a prudent approach towards building a sustainable future. When times are difficult, they see us adults adapting to the challenges of the day, but not panicking. This adaptability is a building block of resilience.  

Our children learn that having a budget isn’t a dampener on our lifestyle, but a prudent approach towards building a sustainable future. 

Learning contentment

If budgeting teaches our children how to work with limits, contentment teaches them how to live well within those limits. 

Contentment is often misunderstood as settling for less, when in reality, it is the quiet confidence of knowing what is enough, and being thankful for what we have. In our home, we try to practise contentment through the small trade-offs we make together. 

For example: 

  • Repairing or reusing items instead of replacing them straight away 
  • Putting purchases “on pause” to see if we still want them after a few weeks 
  • Choosing one shared family treat per week instead of multiple ones 

I used to worry that saying “no” too often would make our children feel deprived. Over time, I realised that what mattered more was how we said no — calmly, without guilt, and with a clear explanation. When we say things like, “Let’s wait and think about this,” or “Are you sure you really need this right now?” we model self‑control and pausing to think. 

As our children grew older, they began to recognise contentment as a form of stability for the family. They learnt that we were not being a killjoy, but making room for intentional choices that we truly desire and value.  

This ability to live peacefully within limits, without resentment or constant comparison, also helps to build our resilience muscles.

Turning gratitude into daily rhythms 

Research consistently shows that gratitude plays an important role in emotional well‑being. Studies link gratitude to better mental health, improved sleep, stronger relationships and greater resilience during stressful periods.  

Gratitude, like resilience, is something we need to practise in the mundane everyday moments. In our family, gratitude did not begin as a formal exercise. It grew out of a need to notice what we could still be grateful for even when things felt demanding. Over time, it became part of our bedtime rituals. 

Some ways to practise gratitude: 

  • Share one good thing from the day during dinner or at bedtime 
  • Thank one another for effort, rather than outcomes 
  • Acknowledge small joys aloud, eg. a quiet evening, a funny joke, a meal eaten together 

There were days when the practice felt awkward, especially when everyone was tired or preoccupied. But along the way, something shifted within us, and gratitude became less performative and more habitual. We learnt that giving thanks did not require us to minimise difficulties; it simply helped to remind us that difficulty was not the whole story. 

So even when circumstances are not ideal, as a family, we can still choose to notice what is good, and this helps us stay emotionally steady and grounded. 

Giving thanks helped to remind us that difficulty was not the whole story. 

Modelling resilience for the long term 

One of the most important gifts we can give our children is not comfort alone, but resilience.  

When children observe us responding to changes in the environment with steadiness rather than fear and anxiety, and appreciation rather than resentment, they too learn how to face uncertainty with strength and hope.   

Economic conditions will continue to shift. Costs may rise and fall. But resilience is not about control over circumstances, it is about how families choose to respond within them. 

Q&A: What are Sexual Desires and Must I Act on Them?

At a glance: 

    • Curiosity, attraction, and bodily responses are a normal part of growing up across different developmental stages. 
    • Feelings and physical responses are not the same as choices, and not every desire needs to be acted upon. 
    • Parents play a key role in guiding children to understand, manage, and respond to their sexual desires in safe and healthy ways. 

Have you noticed your child touching their private parts out of curiosity? Or your teenager going shy at the sight of an attractive person? Humans are sexual beings. The sexual urges and desires we feel are part and parcel of a person’s development and experience.  

What is that feeling? 

In psychology, sexual desire is the subjective feeling of wanting (or longing) to engage in sexual activity. It can appear spontaneously or in response to stimuli or pleasure, triggered externally (erotic material, situations) or internally (fantasies and thoughts). In other words, sexual desire is an emotional or mental response.  

This is in contrast to sexual arousal. For most people, sexual arousal tends to begin around puberty (ages 10-14). It is a physiological response triggered by sexual stimuli that expresses itself in physical sensations like feeling of warmth, heart rate acceleration, tingling, dilation of arteries in the genital area. Sexual arousal is a physical response. 

We need to give our children handles to understand what is happening and learn to respond in an age-appropriate manner. 

While they are closely related, and often happen together, it is not always necessarily so. It is possible to have arousal without desire and vice versa. More often than not though, arousal does indicate some form of desire, and desire may lead to arousal.   

Importantly, what matters is learning how to manage our desires safely and healthily. We need to give our children handles to understand what is happening and learn to respond in an age-appropriate manner.  

By doing so, we hope to avoid the pain and negative consequences of inappropriate sexual activity.  

Primary years (7-9)
Tween years (10-12)

Children are curious about the world. Naturally, they will also be curious about their bodies. At this age, children may notice and ask questions about male and female genitals. They may touch their own genitals, and for some, even masturbate in private. Others may form affectionate relationships with their peers—holding hands or hugging. 

We should address our children’s questions clearly and unashamedly, using proper terms. We can help them understand the purpose of our private parts and why we should keep them private, and that people should not be touching them inappropriately and vice versa.  

Relatedly, we should also set boundaries as to how they show affection to other children or adults. Not every person (young or old) may be comfortable with physical affection. We want to keep our children safe and give them a healthy understanding of their growing sexual development.  

Teen years (13-16)
Emerging years (17-19) 

As tweens and teenagers experience puberty, they will have an increased awareness of sexual attraction and how their body responds accordingly. They may start to feel heightened sensations (arousal) when they are around people they are attracted to. With attraction comes desire. Teenagers will need to learn how to manage these desires, whether they are in a romantic relationship or not.  

As they age, teenagers may start to think about their values and beliefs about sex and relationships. In response to arousal and desire, they may express it by masturbating in private or exploring erotic material. They may also choose to pursue physically intimate relationships. Not every action is safe or healthy.  

The teenage years can be a challenging and confusing time. Their prefrontal cortex (responsible for decision making and impulse control) is still developing, often leading to a general lack of self-control. Coupled with hormonal changes and peer influence, teens may engage in reckless behaviour. To leave them without guidance and instruction would be a disservice to them.  

While we may not be able to control our sexual arousal, we can control our sexual desires for safe and healthy sexual development.

It is all the more pertinent to keep communication lines open to talk through the physical, mental, emotional and sexual experiences our teenagers are going through. Such conversations do not have to be long but they should communicate that these developments are a normal part of life. 

Even then, their sexual arousal and desire need to be managed carefully and safely so that they do not end up harming themselves or others. As parents, we want to set clear boundaries in their friendships and dating relationships to prevent unsafe sexual behaviour. Remind them that there will always be consequences to any action. 

How to manage sexual desires?

Sexual arousal and desire aren’t the issue – what matters is what we do about them. While we may not be able to control our sexual arousal, we can control our sexual desires for safe and healthy sexual development. Not all sexual desires should be acted upon.  

Just because a person is sexually aroused does not give them the right to touch or engage in sexual activity with another person. Any sexual act carried out without consent constitutes a criminal offence. This also includes recording, possessing or sharing intimate photos or videos of others without explicit permission. Further, under Singapore law, persons under the age of 16 are unable to legally consent to any sexual activity. 

Likewise, while pleasuring oneself through masturbation may seem inconsequential, it can become an issue if it interferes with physical health or other social settings. A person’s view of sex can also be distorted if there is a constant desire to watch pornography or other erotic material. Engaging in such sexual activity is generally unhelpful in forming a healthy view of sex and relationships.  

It would be wise to teach our children to be aware of how they are feeling and to remove themselves from situations that may make it difficult to control themselves, possibly leading to unsafe sexual activity.  

These scenarios may include being in a private space with another person, or when they come across sexual content while browsing the internet.  

We may think that living out and fulfilling our sexual desires is what will make us most happy. However, sexual desire is most satisfying and safely expressed in a loving, committed relationship, i.e. marriage.  

Any other forms may lead to brokenness and mistrust. Let’s help our children understand how harmful it can be if we let our sexual desires run free without control. Assure them that what they experience is normal but also give them the tools to manage it for healthy development. 

Enter Your Grandchild’s World

My granddaughter Ophelia rummaged through the toy bin and held up two tattered superhero capes.  

“You wear the pink one,” she instructed me and tried to place the cape over my T-shirt. I scooped the tiny 2-year-old into my arms, knowing what came next.  

She asked, “Should we dance or fly-a-sky, Grandma?”  

I was already scrolling through the playlist on my phone in search of the Mary Poppins song “Let’s Go Fly a Kite.”  

Within seconds, Ophie was squealing as we twirled around the room. Dancing—a generous term for my awkward movements—is one way I have connected with my youngest grandchild.  

Research by Oxford professor Ann Buchanan indicates that a high level of grandparent involvement, whatever the activity, greatly increases the overall well-being of grandchildren. In a study of more than 1,500 children, Buchanan found that kids who have more involved grandparents have fewer emotional and behavioural problems than kids who don’t have a regular connection.  

So how can grandparents ensure a meaningful connection when they’re with their grandchildren? There’s no special grandparent glue, but we can choose to study our grandchildren, ask questions and be intentional about spending time with them.  

Studying grandkids 

Each child is uniquely created. Therefore, it’s important to watch for his emerging interests, talents and personality traits. You also can observe whether your grandchild is an extrovert or an introvert, a leader or a supporter. Finally, you can take note of his temperament. 

Look, also, for signs of how your grandchild expresses love to you and other family members. Do they enjoy spending time with you? Do they always want to bring you a gift? Do they like helping out in the kitchen or snuggling on the sofa with a book? These observations from Dr. Gary Chapman’s research on love languages can give you ideas about how your grandchild is more likely to experience your love when you are together. 

The goal of studying your grandchild is to find a way to connect that is meaningful to the child. The better we understand our grand-blessings, the stronger the connection.  

Ask questions 

When we interact with our grandkids, we should strive to ask questions that reveal their heart. Nurture open-ended conversation instead of yes-or-no questions.  

Showing an interest in our grandkids as individuals helps create a safe place for them to ask questions in return.  

These meaningful conversations are
where genuine mentoring often takes place. 

Spend time 

Opportunity for connection with our grandkids increases when we have one-on-one time with them, rather than engaging with multiple children at once. But if you have more grandchildren than days in the week, and it isn’t possible to spend time with each child individually, go ahead and do activities in a group. But find moments to engage with each grandchild so he knows you see him as an individual.  

Relationship Stages With Grandkids 

Kids with supportive grandparents are far more likely to overcome adversity and become successful in school and life, says school psychologist Karyn Singley Blair, who has spent 20 years working with children and adolescents. Blair identifies five stages of development for children. Understanding these stages will help grandparents better relate to their grandchildren.  

Infants and toddlers: birth through 18 months 

During the first year and a half of life, connection with a child is built mainly through physical contact and meeting their primary needs so they develop trust in you, Blair says. Holding, feeding, reading to and playing with kids this age builds familiarity and trust. Even at this early stage, grandparents can study temperaments and emerging personalities. Most children up to 18 months have a very limited vocabulary but will still voice their preferences when asked questions such as “Do you want Grandpa to read Green Eggs and Ham or Good Good Father ?” or “Would you rather colour a picture or kick the soccer ball?” Their answers will begin to reveal their unique personalities. 

Early childhood: 18 months to 3 years 

At these ages, grandchildren will desire to do things themselves but will still need a lot of assistance. Establish a bond through helping them develop new skills. We learn a great deal about our grandchildren by patiently allowing them to work alongside us in simple tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and drying dishes. 

And keep noticing what makes your grandchildren unique! Are they detail-oriented or big-picture? Do they lose interest easily, or can they follow directions for a while?  

When Lisa Hebbert noticed that her 2-year-old granddaughter loved to make messes, she began creating mud pies with her. They later moved into the kitchen, where they exchanged mud for pudding and began creating real desserts together. Today, her granddaughter is a confident cook, and the two of them enjoy watching cooking shows together. 

Preschool: ages 3 to 6  

Preschoolers love to play, and they also start to imitate their caregivers. Since laughter connects the generations, be silly together. Allow plenty of playtime, but also pay attention to what a child struggles with and what he is eager to learn. Ask how he feels when he’s learning things.  

 

When my granddaughter Caeris was 3, she became frustrated because she couldn’t catch a Frisbee, and she told me this made her sad. 

I purchased some Frisbee rings and we practiced, celebrating each catch with a silly victory dance. Now, at 5, she loves to play Frisbee, and it has become one of our connections as we talk about not giving up just because something is hard. 

School age: ages 7 to 12  

School-age children are ready to learn how to be good citizens and become part of a bigger community. Connection at this stage happens as a child starts to discover the world outside of his or her family.  

Hebbert and her granddaughter found common ground in looking for ways to bless others—whether creating May Day baskets to hang on neighbours’ doorknobs or earning money for a charity. Hebbert built this connection as she recognised her granddaughter’s generous heart and has helped her serve the community around her.  

This connection comes from understanding the child, and it may not always be a hobby or interest of your own. My 7-year-old grandson is developing a real love for drawing. He constantly asks my husband and me to show him how to draw things. On my list of favourite things to do, I place drawing right above cleaning the bathroom. But to enter his world and create a bond through something he enjoys, I’ve begun viewing drawing tutorials with him. 

Whether I’m sitting with him and helping with the tutorial or drawing alongside him, we are building a connection. That connection gives me the opportunity to talk about being OK with making mistakes and encourage him to turn his mistakes into something even better. Mentoring is easier when we can use an area of our grandchild’s interest to nurture life lessons.  

Adolescent: ages 13 to 18 

As a grandparent, you know that a teen is looking to find his or her own identity and independence. Your grandchild may begin to pull away from family. Friends may become more important.  

To build and maintain connection during this stage, be present but not pushy. Get to know your grandchild’s friends and teammates. Ask your grandchild about his dreams, values and beliefs.  

Building connection means entering your grandchild’s world rather than forcing him into yours.

Long-distance connections 

Although bonding is easier when a grandparent is physically present, meaningful connection with a grandchild can still happen over long distances. Tina Ng and her husband, Jim, are new grandparents. “I think distance grandparenting will be the story of our lives,” Tina admits.  

She already uses FaceTime to read books to her grandson so her voice becomes familiar to him. They use an app called Tinybeans, which allows their daughters to share photos of the growing grandkids every day.

Grandparent club 

Notice what your grandchildren are interested in and form a long-distance club related to that area of interest. For Nancy Chan, it has been a book club. She sends books to her grandchildren, and after she and the kids read each book, they discuss what they’ve read. 

Other grandparent clubs might focus on puzzles, kid-friendly recipes, exercise, or drawing. You could also try a “word of the month” club, where participants can do anything creative with the month’s word, such as drawing, writing or painting. 

Other ideas for connecting to your grandchild’s world 

The point is to create common experiences. Here are other ideas that grandparents have used to connect with long-distance grandkids: 

  • Call individual grandchildren regularly
  • Offer to have the grandchildren visit you
  • Play online games together
  • Create videos to send to each other

How to Spot and Prevent Parental Burnout

At a glance: 

  • Parental burnout goes beyond everyday stress, resulting from prolonged exhaustion that leads to emotional withdrawal, irritability, and loss of confidence as a parent. 
  • In Singapore, multiple pressures contribute to burnout, including work–family conflict, intensive parenting expectations, limited support, and caregiving across generations. 
  • Recovery starts with recognising limits and seeking support, through self‑care, setting boundaries, lowering unrealistic expectations, and reaching out for professional help when needed. 

Parental burnout is the condition where you are so exhausted as a parent that you feel you have nothing left to give. This often happens to parents who devote so much time and energy to their children that they neglect their own needs. This is not to be confused with everyday parenting stress.  

Parental stress is the type of mental stress that is triggered by the daily demands, responsibilities and expectations that come with bringing up children. What is interesting is that moderate levels of parenting stress can actually motivate parents to learn, adapt and improve their capacity to care for their children.  

What is parental burnout? 

While parental burnout and parental stress share some similar symptoms like exhaustion, parental burnout occurs when parents go through a more prolonged and recurring period of parenting stress and are no longer able to handle the situation given their resources. 

According to researchers, parental burnout is characterised by four symptoms that typically develop in stages.1 The first and most prominent symptom is extreme exhaustion brought about by the constant demands of parenting, and just the thought of caring for their children leaves them feeling depleted and drained.  

The second symptom involves a gradual emotional withdrawal from their children, where their involvement is reduced to the bare essentials. Interactions become task-focused and centred mainly on keeping routines on track. In addition, parents may reward and show their children approval and affection only when they display compliant behaviour. At this stage, parents may feel they are simply getting through each day, carefully rationing their remaining energy to cope.  

The third symptom is marked by increasing irritability and feeling ineffective in their role. Once a source of joy and purpose, parenting begins to feel burdensome and emotionally distressing, often accompanied by lingering guilt. They may notice their patience wearing thin, and lose their temper over situations that previously would not have bothered them. 

The final symptom is when parents recognise a painful gap between the parent they are currently, and the one they hoped to be. This stark contrast can cause parents to feel distressed and unworthy. They may assume themselves to be bad parents for not taking pride in raising and nurturing their children.  

Why does parental burnout happen? 

In Singapore, parental burnout often arises due to work-family conflict. In today’s dual-income family, over 63 per cent of Singaporean women and 75 per cent of Singaporean men are in the workforce2. Parents, especially mothers, juggle parenting, family responsibilities and work commitments, and may also face the stress of dealing with conflicting parenting values between husband and wife. In some cases, this situation is aggravated by lack of support where the children’s grandparents have different views about how the children are brought up, adding to the parents’ stress. 

Singapore’s intensive parenting culture perpetuates a “pressure-cooker” attitude towards parenting. Parents often carry high expectations of both themselves and their children, resulting in tremendous pressure at every stage of the child’s life.  

Apart from doing all they can to ensure that their children are healthy and well-adjusted, many parents believe that enrolling them in the best schools, extra tuition and numerous enrichment classes will help them succeed later in life and keep up with their peers. 

Today’s parents may also belong to the “sandwich generation” who need to raise their children whilst caring for their elderly parents. In view of modern societal challenges such as the rapidly ageing population, rising costs of living and healthcare as well as older first-time parenthood, it is not surprising that parents who are main caregivers endure heavier responsibilities. 

What are some practical ways to recover? 

As a parent, your priority is your family, and it is natural for you to want what is best for your loved ones. However, there will be times when you simply can’t give your all. This is completely normal, and there is no reason to feel guilty about it.  

On good days, affirm yourself for having raised your children well. On bad days, remind yourself that these moments do not define your worth as a parent, and instead focus on being grateful for what you appreciate about your children. 

Health experts agree that caring for your own well-being is just as important as caring for your children. By identifying stress triggers, we can cultivate appropriate habits that will help us regain our sense of balance. For instance, if you constantly feel stressed about your children’s misbehaviour, you could try lowering your expectations and allowing them to learn from their mistakes.  

On good days, affirm yourself for having raised your children well. On bad days, remind yourself that these moments do not define your worth as a parent, and instead focus on being grateful for what you appreciate about your children.  

To overcome fatigue, make time to exercise regularly to boost your mood, and schedule breaks with a healthy snack to replenish your energy. Enjoy the moment by setting aside time daily to do small, meaningful things like listening to your favourite music.  

If lack of support is your main challenge, setting boundaries can help. Say “no” when you are stretched too thin and reach out to family and friends for help. For instance, you can arrange a daily time-out where your spouse takes care of your children, while you go out for a 30-minute walk around the neighbourhood.  

Parental burnout is growing in prevalence, yet it is not commonly discussed. By recognising the signs and acknowledging your own experience, you can take steps toward being more present for and loving towards your children.  

If you are already practising self-care but the feelings of helplessness persist, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for further guidance and support. 

Where Have the Good Men Gone?

At a Glance: 

  • Culture amplifies male failure
  • Good men do exist, but are less visible
  • Affirmation helps men grow
  • Encouragement doesn’t excuse harm
  • Visibility of good men will help shift culture 

It’s a question that has echoed across conversations, podcasts, and group chats: 
“Where have all the good men gone?” 

Sometimes it’s said jokingly. Other times, the question carries pain, frustration, and exhaustion. 

Beneath it lies a longing for men who are dependable, emotionally present, kind, humble, courageous, and self-aware – men who take responsibility, lead with integrity, and love well. 

For me, this question didn’t start in adulthood. 

It whispered first when I was a little girl living with an alcoholic father. 

I still remember waking up to the sharp stench of alcohol seeping through our tiny rental HDB flat, the walls thin, the fear familiar. 

Every night, I prayed for quietness. Every morning, I wondered which version of my father I would I be getting that day.  

The echo grew louder the night my parents had one of their many shouting matches. 

Afterwards, my mother said softly, “He looked like he wanted to hit me… but at least he didn’t.” 

I didn’t know much about love, but I knew enough to ask: 

Is this what a man is supposed to be? 
Is this what love looks like? 

As I grew older, the echoes followed me. 

When I heard boys in school talk about girls like objects. When stories of cheating became more common than stories of commitment. When friends cried not for romance, but for basic decency. 

Piece by piece, it felt like the world was proving that the painful narrative I had formed in my mind was real.  Maybe “good men” really are disappearing or are rare Pokemons to be found in distant places. 

Stories of good men 

But thankfully, life has brought me something I didn’t expect. The evidence that good men still exist. Men who were kind, humble, intentional. Men who showed up. Men who healed instead of hurt. 

I saw it in my youth leader, who championed the young women he led, guiding them, cheering for them, and treating them with dignity. 

I saw it in the male friends I grew up with, now becoming husbands and fathers, building homes marked by tenderness and responsibility. 

I saw it in my friend’s husband, who opened their home for me to stay during a difficult season. 
Watching how he loved and respected my friend gave me a front-row seat to a healthy marriage. 

I saw it in my own husband, who has loved me carefully and selflessly, even when my old wounds made it harder to do so. 

And I saw it in my godfather, who offered my husband and I his small studio apartment to live in while we waited for our flat to be ready – generosity without hesitation, support without condition. 

Through all these men, I realised something important: Good men aren’t “gone.” 

They were there. 
Often quiet. 
Often unseen. 
Often not trending. 

But they existed. The problem wasn’t extinction. It was visibility. 

Good men rarely go viral. They are not dramatic. They are not chaotic. They don’t create spectacle. They show up consistently. They build slowly. They choose responsibility over applause. 

And consistency doesn’t always make good headlines. 

Somewhere along the way, our culture became very skilled at spotlighting male failure, and very slow at celebrating male faithfulness.

When men fail, it becomes proof that “men are the problem.” 
When men love well, it’s often treated as the bare minimum. 

But what if we’ve underestimated the quiet power of affirmation? 

I’m not saying women are responsible for fixing men. 
And I’m certainly not suggesting we excuse abuse, immaturity, or irresponsibility. 

But I am asking a gentler question: If we long for good men, how are we responding when we see them? 

Do we honour integrity when it appears? 
Do we encourage emotional growth when it feels awkward and imperfect? 
Do we create space for men to admit weakness without shaming them for it? 

But what if we’ve underestimated the quiet power of affirmation? 

The importance of affirming men  

Because here’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way: Many men are trying but they are trying in a world that often assumes the worst about them. 

Boys grow up hearing that masculinity is toxic. Men grow up feeling that vulnerability is weakness. Husbands grow up afraid that if they fail once, they’ll be defined by it forever. 

When my husband chooses patience in a tense moment, I try to say it out loud: 
“I see how you handled that. Thank you.” When a male friend takes responsibility for his mistakes, I honour it instead of weaponising it later. When I see fathers playing gently with their children, I celebrate it. 

Affirmation does not inflate ego; it reinforces identity. It calls out and names what is good and praiseworthy. And people tend to grow in the direction of what is recognised. 

If all a boy grows up hearing that men are unreliable, immature, or unsafe, he may begin to lose faith in himself. 

But if he hears,
“I see the good in you,” 
“I trust your leadership,” 
“I believe you can do better,” 
something steady and hopeful begins to form within them. 

Again, this does not mean tolerating harm. Boundaries are meant to be respected. Accountability is necessary. 

But encouragement is a powerful, yet lost practice. 

The little girl in that tiny rental flat grew up believing men were unpredictable and dangerous. 

The woman I am now knows something different. 

I am grateful for the men who proved my childhood fears wrong. 

And I hope we become the kind of women, friends, wives, sisters, mothers, who recognise, nurture, and celebrate goodness when we see it. 

Not because men need applause for basic decency. 
But because culture shifts when what is good is made visible. 

Good men aren’t gone.  

They are being built – in homes, in churches, in friendships, in marriages, in quiet unseen places. 

Or sometimes they’re just waiting to be seen. 

The Family Future Makers programme provides development opportunities for young leaders who are keen to contribute as active citizens to uphold family values as foundational to nation-building in Singapore. Registration for our 2026 run of Family Future Makers is open! Register here: https://www.famchamps.sg/FFM2026. 

Teaching Kids About Empathy in an Anti-Empathy Culture

How can I teach my kids empathy? 

Teaching kids empathy starts with modeling emotional awareness, asking open-ended questions about feelings, and guiding them to understand others’ perspectives. Parents can use everyday situations—conversations, books, or conflict moments—to help children recognise emotions and respond with care. Consistency matters more than perfection. 

Our culture de-values empathy. Instead, there’s an emphasis on choosing to feed narcissism and apathy. Because of this, it’s more important than ever to teach our kids about empathy. 

If you’ve ever had difficulty understanding empathy, you’re not alone. In the past few years, empathy has become a dynamic term to mean a variety of things. At the same time, our culture seemingly de-values empathy instead choosing to cultivate narcissism, apathy, or even hatred. Because of this, it’s more important than ever to teach our kids about empathy. 

What is empathy for kids? 

Teaching kids empathy is essential for their emotional and social development. Empathy means being able to understand and share another person’s feelings—both their joys and their struggles. When practiced thoughtfully, empathy allows us to step into someone else’s experience and offer genuine support and understanding. 

Research shows that empathy strengthens relationships, builds trust, and helps children develop resilience and compassion.

Helping kids grow in empathy starts with modeling it ourselves. We can teach them to recognise their own feelings, manage them in healthy ways, and extend that awareness toward others. These skills not only nurture kindness but also equip children to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and care. 

Managing thoughts and feelings 

As a parent, you are your child’s first role model! Whether they are always engaged or not, they watch, listen, and observe your behaviour more than you know. When teaching your kids about empathy, remember that you can model healthy emotional intelligence. 

Help your children learn to manage their internal thoughts and feelings through asking specific questions. Such as: “What are you feeling right now?” or “What makes you feel that way?”  

Remember that your tone and facial expressions often convey more meaning than your words. 

Alongside asking key questions, be sure to include positive, supportive phrases directed towards your kids. Such as: “I’m so sorry” or “Please tell me more” or “I see how that is hard for you.” These phrases help our kids see that we support them and are present with them. 

Aside from asking personal questions and focusing on our kids’ situations, you can use examples such as books, movies, and family members to teach kids about empathy. Use these examples to help your kids practice managing their thoughts and emotions. 

Strategies for teaching kids about empathy

Empathy isn’t something you either have or lack. And it rarely is something that automatically develops without intentionality and love. 

Your parenting strategies matter. The family culture you create matters. Consider these strategies to support your ability to teach your kids about empathy. 

Understand and accept rather than judge 

Teaching kids about empathy does not have to be a guessing game. Show your kids that asking caring questions can be their best friend. When someone expresses intense emotions, it’s okay to ask them to explain the situation or their feelings as much as they’re willing to. 

Instead of staying silent and choosing to judge someone because of their emotional behaviour, show your kids they can take a moment to think through the situation. Teach your kids to ask themselves questions such as: 

  • Why are they feeling this? 
  • How would I feel if I was in their place? 
  • When have I had a similar experience? 
  • What should I not say right now? 

Model, then correct 

Remember, the goal is not to be perfect. Demonstrate that you are continuing to learn and grow just as you want your kids to develop their empathy. Acts of kindness such as serving others or encouraging your kids will help foster a culture of empathy. Model how to appropriately hold back hurtful comments or filter your social media responses. 

Once you’ve established positive moments, then you can help your kids understand disrespectful behaviour. Again, you can use family situations, books, or movies to teach your kids about when others are not empathetic. 

Guide and teach, don’t preach 

When your kids express their emotions or see other people’s emotions, they’re grappling with new ideas and potential vulnerabilities. These moments are critical to developing your child’s empathy, as well as strengthening your relationship with them. 

Avoid lecturing your children on what they should think or feel. Rather, help guide them to unpack their own perspective or point of view. Chances are, your kid might feel confused, scared, or worried. 

So, help your child step into the shoes of their friends. Instead of pointing out emotions that others express, ask your child questions such as: “What did their facial expressions tell you about their feelings?” or “What do you think they’re feeling?”  

Activities to teach kids about empathy 

Create a care centre 

For younger kids, consider creating a Care Centre to keep in your home or their backpack. Dr. Beck Bailey, founder of the program Conscious Discipline, describes a Care Centre as a simple box containing items to demonstrate empathy. These can include tissues, Band-Aids, or a small stuffed animal. Then, when your kids notice a sibling, friend, or parent who might be crying or seems sad, they can use the Care Centre to show empathy.  

Gifting meals to those in need 

When neighbours or family members go through tough situations, sometimes making a meal or treat can help encourage them! As a family, think about who you could bless by baking a batch of cookies or making your favourite meal. Then, as a family, drive or walk to their home and deliver the meal to those people in need. Taking it one step further, motivate your kids to write letters of support and encouragement. 

Volunteer work as a family 

For older kids, getting involved in volunteer work can be an excellent way to teach empathy towards others. Consider your kid’s passions so that they can choose a place to volunteer that they will enjoy. If you’re able, volunteer alongside your kids to show that you support their passions too. 

Despite a growing anti-empathy culture, we still can teach our kids about empathy. Cultivating the life skill of empathy takes time. Continue to commit yourself to guiding your kid towards treating others with kindness, encouragement, and empathy. 

© 2021 Focus on the Family. Used with permission. Originally published at focusonthefamily.com.