Published on 16 October, 2026
At a glance:
When your child is born, you may feel excited about the many possibilities that lie ahead in this new journey of motherhood. Those innocent eyes, that beautiful face, the soft little fingers and feet almost magically conjure an indescribable feeling of joy in your heart.
Yet as the days turn into weeks and months, the realities begin to emerge. Sleepless nights, toddler tantrums and endless responsibilities can cause your initial excitement to wane.
While the path of motherhood can seem daunting, shifting your mindset to focus on making the most of how things are, instead of how things should be, can bring great relief and help us rediscover the joy of being a mum.
Juggling between different roles
From the beginning of time, motherhood has been idealised as an all-consuming, naturally-joyful and perpetually self-sacrificing role. Today, many mums have to juggle between work and family responsibilities whilst appearing happy and well-rested, regardless of how they truly feel.
When my mother was in the final stage of her life, I struggled between taking care of her and my toddler son. I rushed around constantly for the both of them, while trying to keep it together at work. Now that my son is in Nursery 2, I am faced with making all the right decisions for him – from choosing the right foods and social experiences, to deciding on schools, tuition and enrichment classes.
To further complicate things, there are times when parenting styles differ and our spouses and in-laws criticise us for not doing the right thing or not doing enough for our children. When the reality of daily life does not match our expectations, it may make us feel inadequate and disappointed with ourselves.
Chronic sleep deprivation & social isolation
Quite often, mothers feel isolated from friends and family with limited opportunities to connect with other adults, especially when they are constantly busy and sleep deprived. It is not uncommon for a mother to wake up several times a night to feed, comfort her baby or change their diaper, especially in the early days. Sleep deprivation affects the brain’s ability to focus and impedes the regulation of one’s emotions – and can even lead to anxiety and depression.
Postnatal anxiety and depression
According to a 2025 Frontiers in Medicine article focused on Perinatal Mental Health in Singapore, postnatal depression affects up to 23.7% of mothers, while postnatal anxiety impacts up to 56.7%. Being a new mom is difficult enough as it is, and experiencing these conditions will only intensify the pressure she faces. Some symptoms of postnatal depression and anxiety include extreme sadness, constant dread and excessive worry about the baby’s health.
Exercise self-care
For busy moms, it is crucial to exercise self-care which extends beyond pampering ourselves. It involves setting aside time to take care of your mind and body. For example, you can listen to a podcast while doing household chores, enjoy a hot cup of tea to reward yourself or daily pen down three things you are grateful for.
Personally, I like to listen to my “Feel Good Beats” playlist while getting ready for my day, and my “Jazz For Sleep” playlist when unwinding and getting ready for bed. While self-care looks different for every mum and in every season of motherhood, embracing smaller meaningful moments such as these can greatly reduce stress and prevent mum burnout.
Let go of the pressure to be the perfect mom, and accept that making mistakes is part of the parenting journey.
Establish supportive social networks
One of the best ways to lighten the load on mothers is to have a strong support network. If possible, lean on trusted family members and friends who can offer practical help or simply be a listening ear. If such support is not readily available, consider joining a parenting group, connecting with other mums at your child’s school or communities that you frequent. Building meaningful relationships with people you can rely on can provide much-needed comfort and strength when facing parental challenges.
Set realistic parenting goals
Let go of the pressure to be the perfect mom, and accept that making mistakes is part of the parenting journey. Instead, set realistic goals that are within your control and celebrate small daily victories. This could include managing to soothe your child when they are having a meltdown or getting them to school on time despite the usual morning drama.
Notice how your children beam with happiness about things we as adults tend to overlook.
See life through your child’s eyes
Embrace your inner child by seeing life through your child’s eyes. Notice how they beam with happiness about things we as adults tend to overlook. For example, my son loves planes. Every morning on the way to school, he excitedly tells me that he is bringing his (school) luggage for a holiday.
It makes me think about how I have forgotten about the excitement of going on holidays, focusing instead on the packing and tiring flights. Instead of correcting him, I play along and cheer, “Enjoy your holiday!” Through pretend-play with your child, you can also experience the childlike joy that they feel.
Focus on the present
With the endless to-do lists mothers often have, it is easy to miss the moments happening right in front of us. However, we need to remember that pure joy is in the now. Notice when your child laughs, or when they hug and kiss you. Pause to savour these small but priceless moments, and let yourself fully enjoy them. When you’re feeling down, resist the urge to immediately fix your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledge them and assure yourself that it is okay to feel this way.
Reach out for help
If you find yourself constantly struggling to cope, consider reaching out for professional support. Remember that you are not alone in your struggles, and it is okay to take motherhood one step at a time. Seeking help is not a sign of failure but of strength and self-awareness. By taking care of your own well-being, you are better able to be the mum your child needs, creating a safe and warm environment where both of you can thrive.
Reference:
Quah PL, Poo ZX, Chen HY, Chua T-E, Tan LK and Tan KH (2025) Perinatal mental health in Singapore—prevalence, knowledge, attitudes, and practices. Front. Med. 12:1623596. doi: 10.3389/fmed.2025.1623596
Nelson and Gina
Workshop: May 2026
Nelson and Gina Lee have been accredited facilitators with Focus on the Family Singapore for over a decade, beginning their involvement conducting relationship talks for tertiary students since 2011.
Driven by a passion for nurturing strong relationships, they have extensive experience in facilitating dating workshops for courting couples and pre-marital programmes for those considering marriage. They have also have led marriage retreats designed to deepen connection and commitment among married couples.
