Child’s Life Stage: Tween

When Can I Start Dating?

The birds and the bees, boy-girl relationships, perhaps every parent’s nightmare. Where do we start? What do we say? How do we broach the subject? We feel awkward and unnatural talking about the topic. Many of us may have been left as children and teens to figure it out on our own. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Our children are always observing and learning about the world around them. They are picking up social norms and behaviour from their friends, social media and the people they come into contact with. What better way than for parents and trusted adults to be their first line of information and to be actively shaping their views about relationships, dating and marriage?

Why date?

The dictionary definition of dating is “to regularly spend time with someone you have a romantic relationship with”. For many, it is also to ascertain if the person you are dating would be someone you would marry for life.

Therefore, it is important to help our children understand that dating is not “just for fun”, there are many implications being in an exclusive relationship with someone. Dating should not be treated flippantly.

When can I start dating? 

While there is no strict one-size-fits-all rule about when someone can date, we would encourage parents to caution their children not to date before the age of 17. There are many dangers that can occur in immature relationships—sexual promiscuity or abuse; the inability to handle intense emotions; distractions from their main responsibility of being students, among others. 

Instead, we should encourage them to be focused on forming friendships, getting to know as many people as they can in primary and secondary school; developing skills and hobbies through various activities; and growing in their knowledge through school. 

As parents, we ought to also be conversing with our children about relationships from a young age to guide and prepare them for when they start to date.

Primary & tween years (7-12) 

Primary school children will start to notice the different kinds of relationships around them: parent-child, friends, married, dating. We can use real life examples of dating couples to describe a dating relationship—what they are doing and for what purpose.

We may explain how those who are dating are not married, but have a special, romantic relationship that might be headed towards marriage. Their affection for each other not only binds them emotionally but may be expressed physically, within safe boundaries. We should also correct any impressions they get about relationships from the media they consume. Help them distinguish screen life from real life—how people fall in love and stay in love.

Teen & late teen years (13-19) 

Youths in their teen years and older may start to feel attraction and romantic feelings towards others. They may be considering starting a relationship with a person or wonder if it is the right time and place to do so.

We should assure them that such feelings are a normal part of growing up. Help them process those feelings and if appropriate, how they should act on them.

How to date?

As we talk to our children about dating, we should discuss specific guidelines that will keep their dating relationship safe and healthy.  

Build friendships 

Encourage our children to begin with group dates where they go out with other friends in a group. In group settings, our children learn how to relate to members of the opposite gender. They can use these opportunities to get to know each other before going on solo dates.

Group dates provide opportunities for continued friendships with other friends, preventing a couple from retreating into an exclusive and sometimes elusive pair (void of external friendships). Friendships are foundational in building healthy relationships throughout life.  

A dating relationship should start from a friendship where there are common interests, values and goals in life.

Safe spaces 

With the prevalence of porn, many young people may have misguided impressions and views about physical intimacy. They may wonder what forms of physical intimacy might be appropriate or allowed (although most young people will probably be too embarrassed to ask). Be specific in laying down boundaries when it comes to physical intimacy. Talk to them about intimacy and sex in a relationship.

Teach our children how to be respectful and protective of their dates. Encourage them to keep their dates in public spaces. Many may not be able to control their actions in a dating situation particularly if they are in a private location. 

Help our children see that every action has a consequence.

Open communication 

Check in with our children from time to time. Find out what has been going well and what has been difficult as they explore dating. Sometimes they may need help processing their feelings, other times, they may simply need a listening ear to know that you care. Listen without judgement and give advice gently.

Get to know the person our children are dating. Take an interest in their lives. This gives us a window into how compatible our child and their date may be and whether it is wise to keep going.

Assure them that it is okay not to proceed with the relationship if it is detrimental to either of them.

Grow in character 

Help our children become people others will want to date. When we teach our children kindness, self-control, empathy and the willingness to look to the interests of others, it will put them in good stead for any future relationships. They learn that relationships are not only for their own benefit but for the happiness of both persons.  

As awkward as the topic of dating and relationships can be, let’s be intentional to guide our children in this area. When we speak with genuine love and concern, our children will be more willing to listen and open up about their struggles and joys. Together, we can navigate this often confusing world of dating, helping them enjoy and experience healthy and loving relationships throughout life. 

Want to be equipped to lead conversations about love and relationships with your youths? Join us at the upcoming Healthy Sexuality Masterclass in August! 

“Worth The Wait” Didn’t Just Give Me a Love Story. It Gave Me Perspective.

We all dream of perfect love stories—the kind promised in classic romantic comedies and fairytales: meet-cutes, effortless chemistry, and ‘happily ever afters’ where problems magically disappear. But what happens when reality hits? When distance stretches thin, grief suffocates, or family expectations weigh heavy? When giving up feels easier than holding on? 

Tom Lin’s Worth the Wait isn’t a typical rom-com fantasy. Instead, it offers an unflinchingly honest journey into the true battlefield of relationships. We meet Curtis (Sung Kang), a rideshare driver raising his niece Riley (Ali Fumiko Whitney), who’s secretly dating Blake (Ricky He). We witness Theresa (Karena Lam) and Nathan (Osric Chau) grapple with profound loss, watch anxiously as Amanda (Elodie Yung) and Scott (Andrew Koji) try to rekindle love, and follow Kai (Ross Butler) and Leah (Lana Condor) as they navigate a long-distance relationship. 

As their stories unfold, the film explores raw emotional aftermaths, exposed vulnerabilities, and the complex pressures of family. It forced me to ask: When life challenges everything we know, what does love really look like? 

Here are 3 takeaways that have reshaped my perspective on love:  

1. Love is a constant, courageous choice 

Worth the Wait reminds me that love isn’t something that just happens and isn’t just a feeling. It’s something we choose, again and again, even in the quiet, difficult moments when walking away seems easier. 

Leah says it best: “I don’t need magical. I need real, messy, honest life.”  Riley, too, finds a space where she can cry, laugh, and be herself. There’s something profound and safe about being fully known—even in your worst moments—and still being fully loved. 

Kai’s line, “Meeting you was not in my life plan. But choosing you is definitely in my life plan,” captures this beautifully. He flies halfway across the world not because love is easy, but because he decides it’s worth the fight. Life will inevitably present challenges, and sometimes feelings fade – we have the choice to stay and fight for the relationship or to run away. Relationships thrive on the minute daily decisions to stay, to communicate, and to grow together no matter what life throws our way. 

Love isn’t magically found—it’s chosen and formed through the ups and downs of life. 

2. Love is strengthened in the in-between moments 

We often chase the big milestones—anniversaries, proposals, marriage. But Worth the Wait argues that love is forged in the in-between: the long, quiet stretches between beginnings and endings. If we only wait for a picture-perfect story, we miss the quiet miracles happening in those seemingly mundane everyday moments of sustained effort.  

Theresa and Nathan’s story is a heart-wrenching portrayal of love and loss. After the devastating loss of their child, the couple struggles to stay afloat under the weight of the grief. The temptation to ignore the pain and retreat into silence is overwhelming. 

As I watched them struggle, I was confronted by the fear of loss—the kind that comes only when we’ve loved deeply. I often fear that when I love deeply, I risk feeling the pain of loss too, making me hold back in relationships to protect myself.  

Their story taught me that loving deeply is not something to fear; it allows us to experience the beauty of life’s fullness. In the depths of their loss, Nathan and Theresa discovered new depths of love—for life and for each other. Their healing wasn’t just about accepting life as it was, but about daring to hope again. It didn’t happen in an instant, but in the in-between—through honesty, vulnerability, and the quiet decision to keep going. 

Their journey of loss shows that love, especially when chosen through pain, does not shortchange us.  

Not every story ends in ‘happily-ever-after.’ Amanda and Scott, despite their passion and ‘soulmate’ spark, fall apart when one stops choosing the relationship. It’s a painful reminder that love requires more than intense feelings. It needs mutual effort—and sometimes, to love is to let go. 

The in-between is where love is tested and strengthened. As the movie reminds us, “Life is hard and unpredictable enough; you need someone who’s really in it with you.”  

3. Love is first learned at home 

What truly elevated Worth the Wait for me was its portrayal of family—the first place we learn what love is, and sometimes, what it isn’t. The film dives into the raw, honest, and all-too-real realities that shape us long before we seek romantic love. 

Curtis struggles to be a father. Theresa’s mother (Tan Kheng Hua) protects her the only way she knows how. Blake aches for the father figure he never had. Kai pleads with his dad, “Couldn’t you just say that you were proud of me?”  

Knowing some of those longings all too well myself, I was deeply reminded of the weighty role of our parents on one’s identity and self-worth. Yet, I was moved by the restoration of relationships in the film—offering hope to anyone who’s ever felt the same.  

These stories reveal how our earliest relationships define love; its possibilities and its limitations. They expose the wounds, the yearning, the resilience we carry into adulthood. Yet within each character’s struggles lie a sense of hope. The film shows that reconciliation is possible, that redeeming family narratives and patterns can lead to healing, and that the love of those who step in can be as transformative as the love we once lost.  

In family’s embrace—or its absence—we first grasp the weight and power of love. 

A story for every heart 

Worth the Wait doesn’t offer easy answers. It offers something better: a raw, authentic portrayal of love and life in all its complexity. It invites us to confront our own brokenness and life’s messiness. It reminds us that the beauty lies in the fight; in the hard moments where love is tested and proven true and where choosing to stay becomes an act of courage. 

This is a film for anyone who has loved deeply, lost painfully, or is simply searching for a story that reflects human experience. 

If you’re ready to laugh, cry, and feel everything in between, Worth the Wait is a story you won’t want to miss. It’s not a fairy tale, but it’s the kind of love story that stays with you. 

Is it Okay to Watch Shows with Occasional Nudity?

Tween and Tween years (10-15)

Establishing healthy communication between parent and child is key. Do you encourage your kid to come talk to you about anything they see on their screens? Have you established yourself as a safe place that they can approach without worrying that you will scold them and take away their devices? 

As awkward as it may be, being upfront with your tween and early teen about content that is inappropriate for them and why, is the best preparation you can make as a parent today.  

According to local Film Classification Guidelines, shows with a G rating do not depict any nudity. At a PG or PG-13 rating, depictions of rear or side profile nudity in a non-sexual context may be presented.  

However, unlike at the cinemas where IDs can be asked for, no one is checking your child’s age before they choose a show on Netflix, YouTube and other content providers that bring content directly to your home. In fact, as your child grows into a teenager, he or she is probably having a lot more unsupervised screen time. So, make it a point to have conversations about what they watch.  

Continue to revisit boundaries and values your family holds on to. Avoid using fear as a deterrent. Instead, always provide the Why behind the What, for example, talk to them about modesty, explaining that their bodies are precious and private, so they do not share it with anyone freely. Similarly, it is not right for us to see the nakedness of others.   

You can also teach them to check their own motives by asking themselves: Why do I want to watch this show? How do these scenes make me feel? Do I want watch this because all my friends are watching?  

Help them connect their responses with their values so that when they do face tricky situations in life, they can lean on their convictions to guide their actions.  
  
Finally, teach them to respond fast when they are in uncomfortable situations: When a scene comes on that falls outside of what they should view, turn it off immediately or walk away. 

Emerging years (16-19)  

Your teen is now older and mature enough to understand a lot more. Treat their opinions with respect, and listen to them a lot more than you talk. If you have a strong relationship, you can continue to influence their choices. 

On media consumption, engage your teen on the broader issues, for examples, talk to your teen about the porn industry and its impact on society. Get them thinking about whether this is good and why this change happened.  
If your teen has a boyfriend or girlfriend, help them think about what programmes they are comfortable watching together. Be straightforward enough to ask how they would react if the show they are watching features nudity or a sex scene. 

You can also have conversations with your teen on respectful and consensual physical touch  to help your teen think about how one’s media consumption could shape our attitudes and values, and in turn affect our behaviour. 

In our highly digitalised world, accessing sexually explicit and inappropriate content takes but a few casual clicks. These critical conversations will help your teen develop an inner compass to navigate the many media choices available.  

  • The Netflix hit series Adolescence raises important issues about what makes healthy masculinity. Empower your sons with strength of character, integrity and compassion with practical insights and actionable steps in our parent’s e-guide. Download it today!  
  • With increasing porn use and voyeurism, the rise of AI companions, and confusion over one’s sexual identity, how can we protect the next generation’s hearts and minds? Sow into a lifetime of healthy relationships and purposeful living for your youths. Register for the Healthy Sexuality Masterclass today. 

Am I a Good Enough Father?

In today’s modern age where we are all time-strapped and often digitally distracted, what does it take to be a good father? What does active fathering actually involve?  

In a recent episode of the ParentEd podcast, we sat down with Kelvin Seah, a father of two and an adjunct Polytechnic lecturer, to discuss this issue. Kelvin emphasises that fatherhood is a continuous learning journey.  

“I want to make it very clear that a lot of things I say today I don’t necessarily practise them perfectly in my own life,” he admits.  

Such a humility may resonate with many of us parents who often feel the pressure to be perfect and who also grapple with feelings of guilt when we make mistakes. 

So…What makes a good father? 

When asked about the qualities that define a good father, Kelvin reminds us to mull over the broader question of what it means to be a good person. He believes that being a good father is less about specific actions and more about embodying the right values.  

“Being a good person doing the right thing has more to do with who we are and less about what we actually do,” he explains. 

Another essential fathering quality that Kelvin emphasises is the importance of being present in our children’s lives. He challenges the notion that quality time can replace quantity time, arguing that both are essential.  

You can’t really be a weekend warrior parent. Intentional parenting should be done on a regular basis daily. 

Building meaningful memories

One good place for fathers to start is to be intentional about how we create meaningful memories with our children. Whether it is setting aside time to be present with the kids at dinner time and at bedtime at least three times a week, or taking them out on bike rides on weekends, children will remember how they felt when they were with us. 

Kelvin explains, “When things get a bit rough and tough, our children will remember that in the end mummy and daddy are here for them because we love them and we care, and children ultimately grow well when they are in safe, secure environments.” 

He recounts his own decision to leave full-time work to be more present for his children. “The hours I spent with my child, both quality and quantity, are invested time that is giving me dividends now as I tackle the challenges of parenting teens,” he quips. 

Have you done your homework? Have you completed all the household chores? Have you done this and that and it becomes very transactional. Then you are just importing ethics from the corporate world into the family world and that doesn’t work. 

Bridging the emotional gap

Reflecting on a fatherhood involvement survey done by Focus on the Family Singapore, which found that many adults wished their fathers had played a greater role in their emotional development, Kelvin stresses the need for fathers to be emotionally available and to affirm their children regularly.  

But how do we do this on a more practical level? 

Kelvin share 3 tips using the acronym A-B-C for fathers to build stronger emotional connections with their children: 

1. A – Apprenticeship  

Apprenticeship means dads should return home after work to your children, spend time with them, and even just sit with them. This time is dedicated to checking in about their day but also being intentional to pass on a skill. In Kelvin’s case, he teaches communication skills, so he tries to pass on these skills to his sons by talking about how to communicate.  

2. B – Be present  

We should make pockets of time to be 100% with our children, Kelvin advises. We should also watch out for functional speak, because as busy parents we may come home and be all about functionality. “Have you done your homework? Have you completed all the household chores? Have you done this and that and it becomes very transactional,” Kelvin warns. 

3. C – Connect for meaning  

Focus on creating meaningful interactions. “What is it I want to leave with my children that they can remember me by?” is a question that Kelvin asks himself often. This question can guide parents in their daily interactions, and help us be more intentional. 

You’re going to fail, but it’s about picking yourself up and trying again. 

Forget perfection, aim for affection

Kelvin also reassures fathers that parenting is not about perfection but about affection.  

“You’re going to fail, but it’s about picking yourself up and trying again,” he articulates.  

Such a perspective is growth-oriented, and encourages us to be kind to ourselves and to view parenting as an ongoing journey of growth. 

Affirm your child’s identity

Being a father to two boys has tuned Kelvin to the realities and importance of intentionally parenting his sons.  

Reflecting on his own life, he says, “If you don’t have a male model regularly present in your life to model that behaviour for you for adulthood, you end up having to navigate it on your own, and it’s a much harder journey to make.” 

“You see their characteristics, their personalities showing up and you nurture that, you affirm that, you see who your child was inherently meant to be and the earlier you see that, the earlier you can create the environment for that personality to really take off and grow,” he adds.

As we can see, being a good father involves continuous learning, being present, and being intentional to invest time and create meaningful memories with your family. By embracing these principles, fathers can build strong, loving relationships with their children that will likely bear fruit – for generations to come. 

Instilling Healthy Masculinity in Our Sons

Adolescence is a gripping crime drama that follows the story of 13-year-old Jamie Miller, who is accused of murdering his classmate, Katie. The series is known for its intense, real-time storytelling and explores themes of youth violence, family dynamics, masculinity and the manosphere.

This movie presents a unique opportunity to explore the issues of identity and masculinity, especially with our sons.

It encourages us to reflect on how societal expectations and personal experiences powerfully shape young men’s identities, core beliefs, and behaviours.

Download PDF now (13.53 MB)

What is Healthy Masculinity and How Do We Cultivate It?

Healthy masculinity is about helping our sons embrace positive traits and behaviours that contribute to their own wellbeing and that of society.  

It is not about force-fitting our boys into strict or unhelpful gender stereotypes; rather it is about promoting values and traits such as empathy, respect, emotional intelligence and a sense of responsibility. 

Here are 6 ways we can build such positive character traits in our boys. 

1. Practise open communication

Have regular conversations with your son about his day, feelings, and experiences. This helps build trust and openness. 

Practice active listening whenever he wishes to talk. When we give them our full attention, we are showing them that they are valued and important to us.

2. Foster relationships with positive role models

Point out positive male role models in your community or in the media who demonstrate healthy masculinity. 

Where possible, dads should lead by example. Show your son what healthy masculinity looks like through your actions and behaviour.

3. Encourage emotional expression 

Let your son know that it’s okay to express his feelings. Encourage him to talk about his emotions and listen without judgment. 

We should also normalise that to be human is to experience a range of emotions, sometimes even a few emotions all at once! Share your own feelings and how you deal with them, whether it’s sadness, anger, or frustration over a work situation.

4. Foster empathy and compassion

Help your son understand the importance of empathy. Discuss how our actions can affect others and encourage him to consider other people’s feelings. 

Show compassion in your own actions. Volunteer together or engage in activities that involve helping others, whether it’s befriending a new neighbour who has just moved in, or helping an elderly with groceries. 

5. Instil a sense of responsibility

Talk about the importance of being honest and owning up to mistakes at the dinner table. Encourage your child to take responsibility for his actions. 

Give him chores to take on at home, especially during the holidays. Also, be intentional to share news stories or everyday examples of people who demonstrate responsibility and integrity in their lives.

6. Teach media literacy and discernment

Last but not least, it is great practice as a family to discuss media messages whenever we encounter positive or negative examples of masculinity. Talk about such news or images over mealtimes or when your child is relaxed and ready to engage.  

As parents, we can help our children think critically about what we see on the media, rather than passively consuming ideas or images that are unhealthy or harmful. 

Cultivating healthy masculinity involves encouraging boys to be empathetic, respectful, helpful to others and emotionally expressive. By actively talking about and demonstrating these values in our daily lives, we can help our boys develop into well-rounded individuals who live purposeful and gracious lives in the future.   

  • The Netflix hit series Adolescence raises important issues about what makes healthy masculinity. Empower your sons with strength of character, integrity and compassion with practical insights and actionable steps in our parent’s e-guide. Download it today! 
  • With increasing porn use and voyeurism, the rise of AI companions, and confusion over one’s sexual identity, how can we protect the next generation’s hearts and minds? Sow into a lifetime of healthy relationships and purposeful living for your youths. Register for the Healthy Sexuality Masterclass today. 

When Motherhood Feels Like You’re Losing Yourself

Motherhood changes a person. We take on a new identity and a new role—one that we are mostly unprepared for; a role that may not come naturally, doesn’t always have straightforward answers and may require a whole lot of trial and error.  

Overnight, our world suddenly involves making sure that someone else is safe, loved and raised. We are thrown into situations we have no experience of, relying on the wisdom of those who have gone before—through books, the internet and maybe a friend’s tales. Most of us are just trying to figure it out along the way. 

The Changes In Motherhood 

Motherhood comes with multiple adjustments—the physical changes to our bodies through and after pregnancy; possibly the changes to our available capacities at our jobs; or a change in work status, choosing to stay home to raise children in this season; a change to our lifestyles as we have reduced time and energy for social activities and hobbies. It can feel like we are losing a big part of the person we used to be. Things are just not the same as before.  

A Mother’s Desire 

At the core of motherhood is also the desire to always want to do what is best for our children. From the moment we see those two lines on the pregnancy test kit to even after our adult child leaves the home, we never stop wondering, “Have I done enough?” We never stop being mothers. 

In the myriad of decisions we make for ourselves and our children daily, we always wonder if there was a better choice. From choosing to stay at home and be the main caregiver, or to continue working outside the home; choosing to breastfeed or formula feed our babies; choosing schools, classes, activities; or choosing one discipline method over another.  

We feel pulled and stretched in all directions, trying to meet expectations and fulfil each of our roles as wife, mother, worker, daughter. We try to do everything to the best of our ability and yet sometimes still feel like we fall short. 

In the light of these changes and expectations, it is too easy to feel overwhelmed, exhausted and discouraged. How do we get used to this new normal? How do we navigate motherhood through societal expectations while also meeting our family’s needs?  

1. Avoid comparisons 

Motherhood is not a competition. We are all on our own paths. Our family and life circumstances are all different and therefore demands different choices and responses.  

It is too easy to look over our shoulder and think, “That mum looks like she has the better life. I wish I had that.” Comparison is a thief of joy. Truth be told, we never really know what goes on behind closed doors. We get distracted into thinking that only when we have a certain life will our families be happy.  

While it is helpful to glean wisdom from other women that we admire and look up to, we need to discern how to fit that wisdom into our own unique situation. Not everything may be directly applied.  

We need to grow to be confident in our choices and tell ourselves, it is ok if my family looks different. 

2. Give yourself time to figure things out

Motherhood is a long journey that is filled with constant changes. We don’t figure out motherhood in an instance. Just as we think we’ve mastered one aspect of motherhood, a new challenge emerges, and the learning begins all over again. Nothing ever stays the same in motherhood. We need to trust the process. 

Give ourselves time to find our own pace, figure out what works for our families and manage our own expectations. As our children grow, their needs will evolve, and we likewise will have to adapt alongside them. As with any new job or responsibility, we take time to learn the task, pick up the skills and get better at the role over time. 

Be kind to ourselves and give ourselves grace to learn, make mistakes and grow from it. 

3. Accept help 

Motherhood is not meant to be a solo act. Mothers are a strong bunch. We are master jugglers, multitaskers, jack of all trades. We have interests and passions, dreams and goals. If we could, we would do them all. But we have the same 24 hours and in reality, we probably cannot do it all on our own. It is far too likely that we are stretched thin and exhausted.  

We need to be willing to ask for and accept help. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child. Beyond the practical help we may receive from physically caring for children, we also need to learn to manage our mental load and receive emotional support from friends and loved ones. This may look like getting to know other mothers who can empathise and understand what we are going through. Friendships make the journey less lonely.  

Find trusted friends who will listen and encourage us, filling our emotional tank through this challenging season of motherhood, which in turn, fuels us to keep caring for our children.

Motherhood is both terrifying and exhilarating; worrying and fulfilling. It sometimes brings us to our knees in tears and frustration, and at other moments, lifts our spirits and brings much joy to our hearts because somehow, that is what children do to us.  

We may not have it all, and we may not know it all, but we sure try and give it our all. That is worth celebrating! 

The Future of Healthy Sexuality

Increasing loneliness and disconnection, rise of porn addiction and voyeurism, rise of AI companions, and confusion over sexuality and identity — these worrying trends have arisen among married couples and the youth, and they seem set to intensify and to shape our children’s attitudes and behaviour.
 
How can we strengthen marital connection to stand against the tide of physical and emotional infidelity? How can we future-proof our children and youths when it comes to sexual and relational issues such as these? 
 
Get a grasp of the underlying factors driving such trends, and be equipped with tools to train the hearts and minds of the next generation so they desire what is good, timeless, and true.
 
Through this masterclass, you will gain: 
  • Latest trends on sexuality and sexual issues – globally and in the region
  • Insights and perspectives from practitioners on the ground
  • Tried-and-tested approaches on guiding the next generation’s mindset toward healthy and holistic sexuality
 
Join us as we facilitate these critical conversations and co-create solutions to get ahead of the challenges.
 
Who should attend?
  • Educators
  • Parents
  • People in the helping profession
  • Leaders serving in faith-based or community organisations

Details

DATE: Fri, 22 Aug 2025

TIME: 9am - 4pm

VENUE: 151 Lorong Chuan, #02-06, New Tech Park, Singapore 556741

FEE: 

  • Regular rate: $108 per person
  • Group rate: $300 for group of 4 (Save more when you sign up together!)

    Morning tea and lunch will be provided.

    Closing date Mon, 11 Aug 2025

Interest List

PLENARY 1: UNCOVERING THE UNSPOKEN: SEXUALITY'S IMPACT ON THE FAMILY

    • Understand how sexual issues and challenges impact the marriage and spousal dynamics 
    • Learn about the impact of sexual addiction and/or sexual dysfunction on marriages, as well as possible influences on children.  

MODERATOR


Alicia Boo
Chief, Impact and Principal Counsellor
Focus on the Family Singapore

SPEAKERS


Benny Bong  
Family and Marital Therapist with over forty years of experience. Author of Couples in Crisis (2008) and Restoration: Rebuilding Four Areas of My Life (2025). 


 Jason and Shelen Ang
have a passion for strengthening marriages and families. They have been training in the areas of dating, marriage, and parenting, and are equipped to do marital profiling and couple assessments. They are married for over 20 years and are parents to two boys.

Morning Breakout Session

Choose the discussion that best aligns with your interest or professional focus.

Discover ways to empower families to
nurture healthy sexuality through open,
values-based conversations at home.

SPEAKER

Gary Koh & Joanna Koh-Hoe
Gary is a family counsellor and Joanna served as CEO of local charity Focus on the Family Singapore for 21 years.

Explore the roots of sexual dysfunction and its impact on marital health and intimacy and family well-being. How might we work towards mindset and behavioural change in the therapeutic journey?


SPEAKER

Benny Bong
Family and Marital Therapist with over forty years of experience. Author of Couples in Crisis (2008) and Restorations: Rebuilding Four Areas of My Life (2025). 

PLENARY 2: NEXT-GEN SEXUAL ISSUES

  • Insights on key trends, issues and challenges occurring at the intersection of youth and sexuality 
  • Uncover risk factors and protective factors 
  • Discover practical tips and solutions, beginning with strengthening family relationships 

MODERATOR


 Joshua Liong
Principal Trainer
Focus on the Family Singapore

SPEAKERS


Dr. Tsao I Ting
 Clinical Psychologist with more than 15 years of experience across public and private settings, specialising in working through complex relational dynamics, be it between couples or parent-child relationships.


Dr. Ng Liang Wei
Director of Sexual Wholeness Services at Lakeside Family Services and Executive Director of Indigo & Co – a charity that focuses on sexuality and gender identity. 


Michelle Soon 
An educator and commissioned Colson Fellow, trained to engage culture today with the Christian worldview. She’s passionate about fostering strong family relationships and encouraging a healthy view of sex and sexuality.

Afternoon Breakout Session

Choose the discussion that best aligns with your interest or professional focus.

Get practical insights to guide youths in finding clarity and confidence in their sexual identity and sexual values amidst the clutter and confusion of the digital age.


SPEAKER

 

Dr. Tsao I Ting
Clinical Psychologist with more than 15 years of experience across public and private settings, specialising in working through complex relational dynamics, be it between couples or parent-child relationships.

Equip young people with tools to recognise and address common sexual struggles in a hypersexualised age. Discover the keys to building rapport and achieving therapeutic goals.

SPEAKER

 

Dr. Ng Liang Wei
Director of Sexual Wholeness Services at Lakeside Family Services and Executive Director of Indigo & Co – a charity that focuses on sexuality and gender identity. 

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Frequently Asked Questions

The Group Rate applies to groups of 4 people. If your group has a 5th person, they can register separately before 7 Jul to enjoy the Early Bird rate. Or, you can gather more people and register as another group of 4!  

Tickets are non-refundable. We encourage you to find a replacement should you not be able to make it after purchasing your ticket. Requests for transfer of registration will be accepted until 14 Aug 2025. Please email us at Corpcomms@family.org.sg.

Recordings of the session will not be made available post-event. Please mark the date in your calendar so you do not miss this event. 

For any event enquiries, please contact us at Corpcomms@family.org.sg

The Organiser reserves the rights to cancel or reschedule the event due to unforeseen circumstances. Every effort, however, will be made to inform participants as soon as possible of the change. For cancellation of event by the Organiser, fees will be refunded in full. 

GE2025 – Wishlist of a First-Time Voter and an Expecting Dad

My wife, Andrea, and I got married last year, and we’re expecting our first child in three months. That’s two major life transitions in a single year — all at the tender age of 26! 

As I prepare to vote for the first time this coming General Election, the first person I think of is our unborn daughter. It is sobering to know that the choices we make today will shape the Singapore she grows up in tomorrow. 

Pregnancy has been a beautiful journey — one of imagining who our daughter might be – what brings her joy, how her eyes will look like, and what kind of world she’ll inherit. And that’s where my heart keeps returning: the kind of Singapore I want her to call home.  

Here are six dreams I carry as I prepare to cast my first vote — not just as a citizen, but as a husband and father. 

My dream is that my daughter will be defined by more than her academic results. I hope that when she sits for the PSLE, she won’t be crushed by the pressure to perform.   

1. Generational love and unity 

My dream is for my daughter to grow up in a Singapore where generations live in unity, beginning in our homes.  

I dream of a family culture where honour flows naturally between the young and old – and this starts with a strong bond with my daughter.  

At Chinese New Year, I want my children to give their heartfelt blessing to their elders (our parents), not just to receive an ang bao, but because they truly respect the older generation and the many sacrifices they’ve made for them. 

This culture of honouring the older generations starts at home.  

Andrea and I are blessed to have our child early in marriage, and her great-grandparents will get to meet her. We believe she will be a bridge between generations – bringing much life and joy to our grandmothers even in their sunset years.  

Looking beyond our family, what could inter-generational unity look like in our nation? 

Imagine a Singapore where schools, workplaces, and hawker centres are marked by strong bonds and trust between the different generations.  

Teachers don’t just teach a subject but nurture the future minds and hearts of our nation, through genuine care for their students. Imagine students expressing genuine appreciation for their teachers and the sacrifices they make for them – whether that’s spending extra time with them after school to help them understand harder concepts, or calling out a hidden strength in them. 

Imagine workplaces where interns are mentored, not just instructed to do menial tasks. 

Imagine our public places of communion such as the hawker centre, where our children greet the auntie clearing our tables with a genuine smile and a thank you – seeing her as her person, beyond the task she is doing.  

This kind of mutual respect doesn’t just happen — it’s built one home, one community, one interaction at a time. 

There’s so much more to each person we meet in our daily interactions than just their jobs. I dream of a Singapore where people aren’t solely defined by their work, but we are acknowledged as people. 

2. Children will be defined beyond their grades 

My dream is that my daughter will be defined by more than her academic results. I hope that when she sits for the PSLE, she won’t be crushed by the pressure to perform.  

I hope she’ll grow up in a school ecosystem that partners with us to shape her character, beyond her grades. Where teachers see her as a whole person, not just a student.  

I want to receive a call not just when she’s in trouble, but when she helps a classmate, or displays sportsmanship at a competition.  

The Edusave Character Award and Edusave Award for Achievement, Good Leadership and Service show that our schools values leadership and character, not just good grades.  

But more can be done, starting in our homes.  

Maybe then, festive gatherings will have conversations that go beyond, “Which school are you in?” or “How well did you do for your exams?” – to include questions like, “How are you enjoying learning in school? What’s something interesting your teacher taught you lately?” 

When our conversations shift from performance to the love of learning and discovery, we will notice a slow shift in how we talk about children – to focus more on their process, beyond the results.    

3. A culture that sees people beyond their jobs

The other day, my wife and I were queuing to pay for our food at Muji café, and I noticed the service staff were wearing name tags. When it was our turn to pay, I looked him in the eye and with a big smile, thanked him by name. 

He paused for a few seconds, before breaking into a smile, and proceeded to return me my change.  

I’m guessing it took him a while to register that to me, he was not just the guy serving me my food, but he was a human with a name and a story.  

There’s so much more to each person we meet in our daily interactions than just their jobs. I dream of a Singapore where people aren’t solely defined by their work, but we are acknowledged as people.  

I want my daughter to grow up knowing that purpose isn’t just in productivity, and that every role—from the hawker aunty to Grab delivery rider to the business owner—has dignity. 

I want her to know that being a good friend, a kind neighbour, or a daughter matters just as much as landing a high-paying job. 

And this mindset has to be first shaped at home.  

I want to affirm my daughter how beautiful and loved she is, to whisper to her daily that she is cherished by her father. Beyond her academic achievements and career choices, I want to commend her effort, her choices, and her dreams. 

I hope my daughter will grow up knowing the love of a father. I want to be both physically and emotionally present with her, especially in her formative years. 

4. A safe environment for children 

My family just secured our Build to Order Flat (BTO) a few months back, and we are excited to build our first home as the Ong family.  

As we were looking at the HDB models while selecting our flat, we couldn’t help but dream of where our kids would play, who our neighbours would be, and which school she would attend.  

Here in Singapore, we are so privileged to have a community to work, play and rest in –whether that’s in our housing estate, in school, or our faith community. With an ecosystem of support, my daughter will grow up to have wholesome influences in her life beyond our home.  

In school, her teachers and coaches will sharpen her skills academically, in sports and the arts.  

In our community and extended family, she will have mentors and family members who would love her and develop her in ways beyond what my wife and I can offer.  

In our estate, she will make good friends at the playground and befriend the uncles and aunties in our neighbourhood. 

In such a safe and supportive environment, hopefully other families will also be thriving. When families flourish, children grow up with a deep sense of security, belonging, and purpose. This is where our daughter to develop a strong sense of identity and belonging—first at home, then in our local community, and in our nation Singapore. 

After all, it takes a village to raise a child, and we know we cannot do it on our own! 

We need narratives that celebrate faithful marriages. We need good and committed mentors in the community who will walk young couples through the tough seasons, not just marriage preparation. 

5. Each person will know the love of a father 

I hope my daughter will grow up knowing the love of a father. 

I want to be both physically and emotionally present with her, especially in her formative years. I want to be the kind of father who listens, protects, provides, teaches, and plays with her. 

There’s a unique confidence a child carries when they know the strength of a father. They are deeply secure and confident in their identity, and more resilient when navigating life’s complexities.  

In our culture, mothers have predominantly played the role of the caregiver, but things are slowly beginning to shift as fathers are becoming equally involved as mothers.  

Even in our workplace policies, paternity leave has been increased to four weeks, the shared parental leave scheme has been introduced, and beyond that, my workplace has a suite of other family-friendly workplace policies.  

Beyond policy, I hope that the culture in Singapore will be one which values the role of a father.  

I have experienced this at my hospital visits to KKH – where the doctors affirmed my attitude when I displayed a keenness to find out more about my wife’s pregnancy and how to support our growing baby.  

Let’s continue to build the ecosystems that support fathers—workplaces that champion paternity leave, community groups that equip and supports fathers, and media that portray strong father figures who lead their families with strength and love.   

6. Marriage will be desirable  

I dream that marriage will once again be a hopeful and desirable milestone for young Singaporeans. 

I know marriage isn’t easy. But with the right preparation and support, it brings much stability to children, and strength to our society. 

We need narratives that celebrate faithful marriages. We need good and committed mentors in the community who will walk young couples through the tough seasons, not just marriage preparation. 

And we need policies that support couples as they begin married life—affordable housing, child support, and family-friendly workplaces. 

Andrea and I chose to get married young, because we desired to build a shared life early. We have found that commitment and a shared vision can weather even the hardest days and our hardest fights, but that’s a story for another day. 

If our daughter sees a marriage marked by grace and forgiveness, hopefully she might one day desire the same. 

As I prepare to cast my vote in GE2025, I carry these dreams with me — not just as a citizen, but as a husband and father. 

Singapore is not perfect. But it is our home. If we build well — with honour, love, and courage — I believe our children will inherit a nation worth loving. 

And that’s a future I look forward to. 

10 Strategies to Help Our Children Navigate a “BANI” World

In recent years, we have witnessed a series of challenges that test our resilience:  

Regional wars.  

Deepfakes and DeepSeek.  

World leaderships changing hands at breakneck speed.  

Climate and man-made disasters popping up both in frequency and volume as quickly as a game of whack-a-mole. 

While many are familiar with the concept of a VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, some experts now suggest that our reality is better described as a BANI world. (Fun fact: VUCA was actually coined as far back as 1987 by the US Army War College, so I’m sure you’ll agree it’s nothing new) 

BANI stands for Brittle, Anxious, Non-Linear and Incomprehensible.  

This is an acronym created in 2018 by American futurist and writer Jamias Cascio to help update the vocabulary we need to describe this world we now live in. 

In a BANI world, what appears strong may in fact be fragile. The foundations we assume are unshakable can be surprisingly vulnerable. 

Understanding the BANI World 

Drawn from an article found in Forbes, below is a quick introduction to this description of our world: 

Brittle – The Illusion of Strength  

In a BANI world, what appears strong may in fact be fragile. The foundations we assume are unshakable can be surprisingly vulnerable—whether that be our public health or financial systems, geopolitical stability, and job security. It is illusory strength, the belief that “everything will be alright” and the assumption that everything we build our life on is secure, except that they aren’t.  

Anxious – The Illusion of Control  

Anxiety refers to a feeling of helplessness, of being overwhelmed by everything that one faces. It comes with stress and a fear of not being able to cope with what’s constantly happening in the world. We will never really know what will come, making it hard or impossible to make the “right” decisions free of risks. 

Non-linear – The Illusion of Predictability  

Life rarely follows a straight path. Instead, we encounter detours, dead ends, and unexpected outcomes along the way. Embracing this non-linearity enables us to become more adaptable and resourceful when confronted with change. 

Incomprehensible – The Illusion of Knowledge  

Finally, incomprehensible refers to people’s experience that they don’t understand what is going on. They can’t oversee it, can’t grasp it, can’t interpret what happens, and why. This means they can’t find the answers they are looking for and, as far as they do get answers, they can’t fully make sense of them either. Accepting that not everything in life can be neatly explained is liberating, prompting us to seek new perspectives and learn continuously. 

We would be bubble-wrapping our kids if we told them that life would be relatively pain-free, or that it could be carefully curated to fit our needs and lifestyles. 

Helping Our Children Thrive in a BANI World 

As parents, we need to prepare our kids for a reality that can be unpredictable and difficult to control. We would be bubble-wrapping our kids if we told them that life would be relatively pain-free, or that it could be carefully curated to fit our needs and lifestyles the way social media may appear to on the surface. 

Even the mundane events we plan for them daily, like attending classes or weekend enrichments, cannot entirely shield them from unexpected challenges. So, what can we do as parents to help our children thrive in a BANI world? 

Here are ten practical strategies: 

1. Foster Resilience

Since the world is brittle and full of unexpected changes, we need to equip our children with mental resilience. Encourage them to see failures as learning opportunities rather than setbacks. Teaching problem-solving skills and fostering a growth mindset can help them handle disappointments and uncertainties better. 

2. Teach Emotional Regulation

Anxiety is a natural response in a world that seems out of control. Help your children develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Techniques like mindfulness, breathing exercises, and journaling can be useful tools to manage stress and anxiety effectively.

3. Encourage Adaptability

Given that the world is non-linear, it’s important to teach children to embrace flexibility. Encourage them to be open to change and adaptable in the face of unexpected events. Knowing how to pivot when things don’t go as planned is a valuable life skill. 

4. Promote Critical Thinking

Incomprehensibility means that not everything is clear-cut or straightforward. Teach your kids to question information critically, verify sources, and develop the ability to analyse complex situations. This will help them make sense of the world even when things seem chaotic. 

5. Provide Stability at Home

While we cannot control external factors, we can create a sense of security at home. Establishing routines, setting clear expectations, and providing a supportive environment can help children feel safe and grounded despite the world’s uncertainties. 

6. Encourage Lifelong Learning

Since knowledge is constantly evolving, children need to develop a love for learning. Teach them that education doesn’t stop at school—it’s a lifelong process. Introduce them to new ideas, skills, and perspectives that will help them stay adaptable and informed. 

7. Model Resilience and Adaptability

Children learn best by observing their parents. Show them through your actions how to cope with challenges, remain calm in difficult situations, and bounce back from adversity. Your example will be more powerful than any lecture.

8. Develop Strong Community Ties

In a volatile world, a strong support system is crucial. Encourage children to build meaningful relationships with family, friends, and mentors who can guide and support them in times of uncertainty.

9. Limit Exposure to Negative Media

While staying informed is important, excessive exposure to negative news can increase anxiety. Teach children how to filter information, recognise when their emotions get triggered, and focus on constructive and solution-based narratives. Better yet, have family conversations on how we might do our part in addressing some of these societal challenges

10. Encourage Purpose and Meaning

Finally, children need to have a sense of purpose. Help them find passions and causes that inspire them. Having a strong “why” can anchor them in times of uncertainty and provide motivation to keep moving forward. 

Our children don’t need parents who have all the answers—they need parents who are committed to grow with them.

While the world may feel brittle, anxious, non-linear, and incomprehensible, we are not powerless. As we reflect on these strategies, it’s important to acknowledge that parenting in a BANI world is no simple feat. The realities we face are complex, and while the principles outlined here may serve as guidelines, their application will look different for every family. 

But if there’s one thing to take away, it’s this: you don’t have to get everything right. Our children don’t need parents who have all the answers—they need parents who are committed to grow with them. The goal isn’t perfection, but rather—with love, wisdom, and intentional effort, we can raise resilient, adaptable children who are prepared to face the future head-on.