Child’s Life Stage: Preschooler

How to Teach a Child about Privacy

Teaching children about privacy starts with helping them understand what information is meant to be shared, and what should be kept personal. By using simple, age‑appropriate language and everyday examples, parents can guide their children to recognise boundaries, respect others’ space, and stay safe both offline and online. These early conversations build the foundation for digital awareness and healthy relationships as they grow.

While in a tech-driven world this mostly relates to data privacy online, the concept also extends to teaching them that parts of our body are private and are not meant for sharing. 

Preschool years (4-6) 

Every part of our body serves a function, and our private body parts (areas covered by swimsuits) are special and important. We can help our children understand that these parts are not meant to be seen or touched by others. 

Practise naming these private parts using the correct terms (e.g. use “breasts” instead of “boobs”, “penis” instead of “wee wee”) to help them build factual understanding. Shower times are good opportunities to point out these areas in a casual yet educational way. 

Avoid exposing children’s private parts in public no matter how desperate a situation might be. For example, when in public, children should always change out their clothes in a private cubicle such as a bathroom.  

Avoid oversharing children’s photos, particularly revealing ones, on our own social media accounts. This will reduce their digital footprint and prevent their images from falling into the hands of malicious actors, who can create harmful deepfake nudes with the help of AI tools.  

Role-play possible scenarios to teach children refusal skills in an engaging and fun manner: If they are asked by someone to show their private parts, they should respond with a firm ‘no’, walk away immediately, and tell a trusted adult. It would be additionally helpful for them to know a few trusted adults they can turn to, apart from Daddy and Mummy. 


Teach children to respect others’ privacy just as they would want others to respect theirs. 

Primary years (7-12) 

Use everyday opportunities to explain how the concept of privacy comes up in various settings: when using public bathrooms, in close proximity with someone else’s device screen, or handling personal info such as passwords, school, email and home addresses. 

In each scenario, teach children to respect others’ privacy just as they would want others to respect theirs. For example, they should not peer into someone else’s device screen because the content may not be safe for them (pornography, violence, confidential data, etc.), nor should they divulge sensitive, personal info to others verbally because it puts them at risk of identity thefts or scams. 

If handing your children a smartphone is inevitable, ensure that parental controls are in place to support their online safety. Let them know that their devices may be monitored to help guide their privacy decisions until they’re ready to manage them independently. Some helpful parental control apps include Google Family Link and Qustodio, although they cannot replace the central role that parents play in helping children develop necessary skills around their privacy. 

The general minimum age for social media accounts is 13 years old to protect children’s privacy, although in reality, children younger than 13 still own accounts. If this is something your child is keen to explore, why not co-own an account with him to model and advocate for constructive and purposeful use of social media? Use this opportunity to impart critical thinking and decision-making skills as the parent taking the lead in choosing what, when, and how much to share online.  

Remind children in this age group that they should not be chatting with strangers online as they are too young to discern when they are being groomed. Instead, make time to connect with them regularly so they will be less tempted to overshare info with a stranger online. 

Our role should be to teach them how to think critically about their privacy decisions, rather than what to think. 

Teenage years (13-16)   

Teenagers are likely to spend more time online and need the consistency of a values-based decision-making framework to help them discern how to safeguard their privacy across different settings.  

Parents should assess teens’ needs and maturity before determining how much and the type of supervision needed to support them in making wise choices, and focus on building a strong relationship with them while being transparent in communication. Our role should be to teach them how to think critically about their privacy decisions, rather than what to think. 

Rehearse digital literacy often as a family – before posting something online, engage your teen to brainstorm with you on its purpose, constructiveness, reliability, and privacy concerns. Ask for thoughts about what responsibility looks like online (e.g. avoid posting photos that reveal anyone’s personal info, post only truthful and constructive content). Normalise a “thinking pause” before responding to or posting anything online. 

Try this with your teen: Google your name, or a combination of your name with other identifying data such as school, workplace, or hobbies, to find out your digital footprint. Debrief by asking questions like, “Were there any surprises? Would this change the way you manage your data online from now? Why and how?” 

Draw your teen’s attention to the type of ads and content that show up on your social media or YouTube feed. It is likely that the powerful, data-driven algorithm would have shown you something related to what you had in your thoughts or mentioned in passing. Is this persuasive design “cool”, or concerning, and why? What does this reveal about our privacy?   

Most of all, teach and show teens how they can lead fulfilling lives offline – it is crucial for them to know that their online life is but a fraction of their whole life, and that we as parents are always here for them. If they do experience consequences of a privacy breach online, they would hopefully have the resilience to know that it isn’t the end of their world; they have a safe space with us, life is still very much worth living for, and we can turn crisis into learning opportunities to help us become better navigators of online privacy concerns.   

FAM JAM Children’s Day Campaign

This Children’s Day, our FAM JAM Campaign invites young families to discover Joy Around Mealtimes through Messy Memories, Spreading Joy, and Curious Chatter.

FAM JAM Campaign will be brought to life through a vibrant mix of digital and print mediums. From a website to an interactive family-centric resource, to relatable, real-life parent-child moments spotlighted across social media, the hope is to spark connection and inspire families.

FAM JAM Campaign will culminate in FAM JAM Fest — a for children, by children community outreach event that empowers FamChamps Junior children to encourage other children and their families with the message of Joy Around Mealtimes. Details and registration for FAM JAM Fest on 18 October can be found here.

Details

DATE: Fri, 3 Oct 2025 to Fri, 17 Oct 2025

For any enquiries, please contact us at Corpcomms@family.org.sg

ParentEd Podcast

Honest conversations to help you be a more intentional parent

ParentEd Podcast

ABOUT

Family life can be unpredictable and chaotic. Amidst work pressures, day-to-day stresses and digital distractions, how can we strengthen our parent-child connections? 

Join us in our honest conversations about parenting and work life as we chat with everyday people and experts about the struggles, joys and small victories that we share. 

There is no perfect family. As we share stories, offer practical insights and answer your questions, we hope that these episodes will provide hope and encouragement in your journey of becoming a better spouse and more intentional parent. 

Nurture lifelong love

Married life can be filled with twists and turns, especially with the day-to-day priorities, and stresses in life, including the times we run into conflict with our spouse.

Tune in to our Connect2 Marriage Podcast to go deep into the conversations and questions about the marital connection, intimacy and lifelong love.

Listen Now

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

Am I a Good Enough Father?

In today’s modern age where we are all time-strapped and often digitally distracted, what does it take to be a good father? What does active fathering actually involve?  

In a recent episode of the ParentEd podcast, we sat down with Kelvin Seah, a father of two and an adjunct Polytechnic lecturer, to discuss this issue. Kelvin emphasises that fatherhood is a continuous learning journey.  

“I want to make it very clear that a lot of things I say today I don’t necessarily practise them perfectly in my own life,” he admits.  

Such a humility may resonate with many of us parents who often feel the pressure to be perfect and who also grapple with feelings of guilt when we make mistakes. 

So…What makes a good father? 

When asked about the qualities that define a good father, Kelvin reminds us to mull over the broader question of what it means to be a good person. He believes that being a good father is less about specific actions and more about embodying the right values.  

“Being a good person doing the right thing has more to do with who we are and less about what we actually do,” he explains. 

Another essential fathering quality that Kelvin emphasises is the importance of being present in our children’s lives. He challenges the notion that quality time can replace quantity time, arguing that both are essential.  

You can’t really be a weekend warrior parent. Intentional parenting should be done on a regular basis daily. 

Building meaningful memories

One good place for fathers to start is to be intentional about how we create meaningful memories with our children. Whether it is setting aside time to be present with the kids at dinner time and at bedtime at least three times a week, or taking them out on bike rides on weekends, children will remember how they felt when they were with us. 

Kelvin explains, “When things get a bit rough and tough, our children will remember that in the end mummy and daddy are here for them because we love them and we care, and children ultimately grow well when they are in safe, secure environments.” 

He recounts his own decision to leave full-time work to be more present for his children. “The hours I spent with my child, both quality and quantity, are invested time that is giving me dividends now as I tackle the challenges of parenting teens,” he quips. 

Have you done your homework? Have you completed all the household chores? Have you done this and that and it becomes very transactional. Then you are just importing ethics from the corporate world into the family world and that doesn’t work. 

Bridging the emotional gap

Reflecting on a fatherhood involvement survey done by Focus on the Family Singapore, which found that many adults wished their fathers had played a greater role in their emotional development, Kelvin stresses the need for fathers to be emotionally available and to affirm their children regularly.  

But how do we do this on a more practical level? 

Kelvin share 3 tips using the acronym A-B-C for fathers to build stronger emotional connections with their children: 

1. A – Apprenticeship  

Apprenticeship means dads should return home after work to your children, spend time with them, and even just sit with them. This time is dedicated to checking in about their day but also being intentional to pass on a skill. In Kelvin’s case, he teaches communication skills, so he tries to pass on these skills to his sons by talking about how to communicate.  

2. B – Be present  

We should make pockets of time to be 100% with our children, Kelvin advises. We should also watch out for functional speak, because as busy parents we may come home and be all about functionality. “Have you done your homework? Have you completed all the household chores? Have you done this and that and it becomes very transactional,” Kelvin warns. 

3. C – Connect for meaning  

Focus on creating meaningful interactions. “What is it I want to leave with my children that they can remember me by?” is a question that Kelvin asks himself often. This question can guide parents in their daily interactions, and help us be more intentional. 

You’re going to fail, but it’s about picking yourself up and trying again. 

Forget perfection, aim for affection

Kelvin also reassures fathers that parenting is not about perfection but about affection.  

“You’re going to fail, but it’s about picking yourself up and trying again,” he articulates.  

Such a perspective is growth-oriented, and encourages us to be kind to ourselves and to view parenting as an ongoing journey of growth. 

Affirm your child’s identity

Being a father to two boys has tuned Kelvin to the realities and importance of intentionally parenting his sons.  

Reflecting on his own life, he says, “If you don’t have a male model regularly present in your life to model that behaviour for you for adulthood, you end up having to navigate it on your own, and it’s a much harder journey to make.” 

“You see their characteristics, their personalities showing up and you nurture that, you affirm that, you see who your child was inherently meant to be and the earlier you see that, the earlier you can create the environment for that personality to really take off and grow,” he adds.

As we can see, being a good father involves continuous learning, being present, and being intentional to invest time and create meaningful memories with your family. By embracing these principles, fathers can build strong, loving relationships with their children that will likely bear fruit – for generations to come. 

When Motherhood Feels Like You’re Losing Yourself

Motherhood changes a person. We take on a new identity and a new role—one that we are mostly unprepared for; a role that may not come naturally, doesn’t always have straightforward answers and may require a whole lot of trial and error.  

Overnight, our world suddenly involves making sure that someone else is safe, loved and raised. We are thrown into situations we have no experience of, relying on the wisdom of those who have gone before—through books, the internet and maybe a friend’s tales. Most of us are just trying to figure it out along the way. 

The Changes In Motherhood 

Motherhood comes with multiple adjustments—the physical changes to our bodies through and after pregnancy; possibly the changes to our available capacities at our jobs; or a change in work status, choosing to stay home to raise children in this season; a change to our lifestyles as we have reduced time and energy for social activities and hobbies. It can feel like we are losing a big part of the person we used to be. Things are just not the same as before.  

A Mother’s Desire 

At the core of motherhood is also the desire to always want to do what is best for our children. From the moment we see those two lines on the pregnancy test kit to even after our adult child leaves the home, we never stop wondering, “Have I done enough?” We never stop being mothers. 

In the myriad of decisions we make for ourselves and our children daily, we always wonder if there was a better choice. From choosing to stay at home and be the main caregiver, or to continue working outside the home; choosing to breastfeed or formula feed our babies; choosing schools, classes, activities; or choosing one discipline method over another.  

We feel pulled and stretched in all directions, trying to meet expectations and fulfil each of our roles as wife, mother, worker, daughter. We try to do everything to the best of our ability and yet sometimes still feel like we fall short. 

In the light of these changes and expectations, it is too easy to feel overwhelmed, exhausted and discouraged. How do we get used to this new normal? How do we navigate motherhood through societal expectations while also meeting our family’s needs?  

1. Avoid comparisons 

Motherhood is not a competition. We are all on our own paths. Our family and life circumstances are all different and therefore demands different choices and responses.  

It is too easy to look over our shoulder and think, “That mum looks like she has the better life. I wish I had that.” Comparison is a thief of joy. Truth be told, we never really know what goes on behind closed doors. We get distracted into thinking that only when we have a certain life will our families be happy.  

While it is helpful to glean wisdom from other women that we admire and look up to, we need to discern how to fit that wisdom into our own unique situation. Not everything may be directly applied.  

We need to grow to be confident in our choices and tell ourselves, it is ok if my family looks different. 

2. Give yourself time to figure things out

Motherhood is a long journey that is filled with constant changes. We don’t figure out motherhood in an instance. Just as we think we’ve mastered one aspect of motherhood, a new challenge emerges, and the learning begins all over again. Nothing ever stays the same in motherhood. We need to trust the process. 

Give ourselves time to find our own pace, figure out what works for our families and manage our own expectations. As our children grow, their needs will evolve, and we likewise will have to adapt alongside them. As with any new job or responsibility, we take time to learn the task, pick up the skills and get better at the role over time. 

Be kind to ourselves and give ourselves grace to learn, make mistakes and grow from it. 

3. Accept help 

Motherhood is not meant to be a solo act. Mothers are a strong bunch. We are master jugglers, multitaskers, jack of all trades. We have interests and passions, dreams and goals. If we could, we would do them all. But we have the same 24 hours and in reality, we probably cannot do it all on our own. It is far too likely that we are stretched thin and exhausted.  

We need to be willing to ask for and accept help. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child. Beyond the practical help we may receive from physically caring for children, we also need to learn to manage our mental load and receive emotional support from friends and loved ones. This may look like getting to know other mothers who can empathise and understand what we are going through. Friendships make the journey less lonely.  

Find trusted friends who will listen and encourage us, filling our emotional tank through this challenging season of motherhood, which in turn, fuels us to keep caring for our children.

Motherhood is both terrifying and exhilarating; worrying and fulfilling. It sometimes brings us to our knees in tears and frustration, and at other moments, lifts our spirits and brings much joy to our hearts because somehow, that is what children do to us.  

We may not have it all, and we may not know it all, but we sure try and give it our all. That is worth celebrating! 

GE2025 – Wishlist of a First-Time Voter and an Expecting Dad

My wife, Andrea, and I got married last year, and we’re expecting our first child in three months. That’s two major life transitions in a single year — all at the tender age of 26! 

As I prepare to vote for the first time this coming General Election, the first person I think of is our unborn daughter. It is sobering to know that the choices we make today will shape the Singapore she grows up in tomorrow. 

Pregnancy has been a beautiful journey — one of imagining who our daughter might be – what brings her joy, how her eyes will look like, and what kind of world she’ll inherit. And that’s where my heart keeps returning: the kind of Singapore I want her to call home.  

Here are six dreams I carry as I prepare to cast my first vote — not just as a citizen, but as a husband and father. 

My dream is that my daughter will be defined by more than her academic results. I hope that when she sits for the PSLE, she won’t be crushed by the pressure to perform.   

1. Generational love and unity 

My dream is for my daughter to grow up in a Singapore where generations live in unity, beginning in our homes.  

I dream of a family culture where honour flows naturally between the young and old – and this starts with a strong bond with my daughter.  

At Chinese New Year, I want my children to give their heartfelt blessing to their elders (our parents), not just to receive an ang bao, but because they truly respect the older generation and the many sacrifices they’ve made for them. 

This culture of honouring the older generations starts at home.  

Andrea and I are blessed to have our child early in marriage, and her great-grandparents will get to meet her. We believe she will be a bridge between generations – bringing much life and joy to our grandmothers even in their sunset years.  

Looking beyond our family, what could inter-generational unity look like in our nation? 

Imagine a Singapore where schools, workplaces, and hawker centres are marked by strong bonds and trust between the different generations.  

Teachers don’t just teach a subject but nurture the future minds and hearts of our nation, through genuine care for their students. Imagine students expressing genuine appreciation for their teachers and the sacrifices they make for them – whether that’s spending extra time with them after school to help them understand harder concepts, or calling out a hidden strength in them. 

Imagine workplaces where interns are mentored, not just instructed to do menial tasks. 

Imagine our public places of communion such as the hawker centre, where our children greet the auntie clearing our tables with a genuine smile and a thank you – seeing her as her person, beyond the task she is doing.  

This kind of mutual respect doesn’t just happen — it’s built one home, one community, one interaction at a time. 

There’s so much more to each person we meet in our daily interactions than just their jobs. I dream of a Singapore where people aren’t solely defined by their work, but we are acknowledged as people. 

2. Children will be defined beyond their grades 

My dream is that my daughter will be defined by more than her academic results. I hope that when she sits for the PSLE, she won’t be crushed by the pressure to perform.  

I hope she’ll grow up in a school ecosystem that partners with us to shape her character, beyond her grades. Where teachers see her as a whole person, not just a student.  

I want to receive a call not just when she’s in trouble, but when she helps a classmate, or displays sportsmanship at a competition.  

The Edusave Character Award and Edusave Award for Achievement, Good Leadership and Service show that our schools values leadership and character, not just good grades.  

But more can be done, starting in our homes.  

Maybe then, festive gatherings will have conversations that go beyond, “Which school are you in?” or “How well did you do for your exams?” – to include questions like, “How are you enjoying learning in school? What’s something interesting your teacher taught you lately?” 

When our conversations shift from performance to the love of learning and discovery, we will notice a slow shift in how we talk about children – to focus more on their process, beyond the results.    

3. A culture that sees people beyond their jobs

The other day, my wife and I were queuing to pay for our food at Muji café, and I noticed the service staff were wearing name tags. When it was our turn to pay, I looked him in the eye and with a big smile, thanked him by name. 

He paused for a few seconds, before breaking into a smile, and proceeded to return me my change.  

I’m guessing it took him a while to register that to me, he was not just the guy serving me my food, but he was a human with a name and a story.  

There’s so much more to each person we meet in our daily interactions than just their jobs. I dream of a Singapore where people aren’t solely defined by their work, but we are acknowledged as people.  

I want my daughter to grow up knowing that purpose isn’t just in productivity, and that every role—from the hawker aunty to Grab delivery rider to the business owner—has dignity. 

I want her to know that being a good friend, a kind neighbour, or a daughter matters just as much as landing a high-paying job. 

And this mindset has to be first shaped at home.  

I want to affirm my daughter how beautiful and loved she is, to whisper to her daily that she is cherished by her father. Beyond her academic achievements and career choices, I want to commend her effort, her choices, and her dreams. 

I hope my daughter will grow up knowing the love of a father. I want to be both physically and emotionally present with her, especially in her formative years. 

4. A safe environment for children 

My family just secured our Build to Order Flat (BTO) a few months back, and we are excited to build our first home as the Ong family.  

As we were looking at the HDB models while selecting our flat, we couldn’t help but dream of where our kids would play, who our neighbours would be, and which school she would attend.  

Here in Singapore, we are so privileged to have a community to work, play and rest in –whether that’s in our housing estate, in school, or our faith community. With an ecosystem of support, my daughter will grow up to have wholesome influences in her life beyond our home.  

In school, her teachers and coaches will sharpen her skills academically, in sports and the arts.  

In our community and extended family, she will have mentors and family members who would love her and develop her in ways beyond what my wife and I can offer.  

In our estate, she will make good friends at the playground and befriend the uncles and aunties in our neighbourhood. 

In such a safe and supportive environment, hopefully other families will also be thriving. When families flourish, children grow up with a deep sense of security, belonging, and purpose. This is where our daughter to develop a strong sense of identity and belonging—first at home, then in our local community, and in our nation Singapore. 

After all, it takes a village to raise a child, and we know we cannot do it on our own! 

We need narratives that celebrate faithful marriages. We need good and committed mentors in the community who will walk young couples through the tough seasons, not just marriage preparation. 

5. Each person will know the love of a father 

I hope my daughter will grow up knowing the love of a father. 

I want to be both physically and emotionally present with her, especially in her formative years. I want to be the kind of father who listens, protects, provides, teaches, and plays with her. 

There’s a unique confidence a child carries when they know the strength of a father. They are deeply secure and confident in their identity, and more resilient when navigating life’s complexities.  

In our culture, mothers have predominantly played the role of the caregiver, but things are slowly beginning to shift as fathers are becoming equally involved as mothers.  

Even in our workplace policies, paternity leave has been increased to four weeks, the shared parental leave scheme has been introduced, and beyond that, my workplace has a suite of other family-friendly workplace policies.  

Beyond policy, I hope that the culture in Singapore will be one which values the role of a father.  

I have experienced this at my hospital visits to KKH – where the doctors affirmed my attitude when I displayed a keenness to find out more about my wife’s pregnancy and how to support our growing baby.  

Let’s continue to build the ecosystems that support fathers—workplaces that champion paternity leave, community groups that equip and supports fathers, and media that portray strong father figures who lead their families with strength and love.   

6. Marriage will be desirable  

I dream that marriage will once again be a hopeful and desirable milestone for young Singaporeans. 

I know marriage isn’t easy. But with the right preparation and support, it brings much stability to children, and strength to our society. 

We need narratives that celebrate faithful marriages. We need good and committed mentors in the community who will walk young couples through the tough seasons, not just marriage preparation. 

And we need policies that support couples as they begin married life—affordable housing, child support, and family-friendly workplaces. 

Andrea and I chose to get married young, because we desired to build a shared life early. We have found that commitment and a shared vision can weather even the hardest days and our hardest fights, but that’s a story for another day. 

If our daughter sees a marriage marked by grace and forgiveness, hopefully she might one day desire the same. 

As I prepare to cast my vote in GE2025, I carry these dreams with me — not just as a citizen, but as a husband and father. 

Singapore is not perfect. But it is our home. If we build well — with honour, love, and courage — I believe our children will inherit a nation worth loving. 

And that’s a future I look forward to. 

How to Cope with the Awkward Sex Talk

Talking to kids about sex can indeed be a tricky and awkward topic.  

I still recall the first time I spoke to my children about where babies come from. My face burnt red like a tomato and beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. So you’re not alone if you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable about broaching this subject. 

 Here are some tips to hopefully help make the conversation more comfortable and effective: 

1. Start ‘em young  

As far as we can, start discussing basic concepts of babies and body safety early on. This helps set the stage for more in-depth conversations later. Think small bites, and make use of daily opportunities to drop a seed of truth into your child (for example when you’re showering your child, or buying a swimsuit for him or her.) 

 We should also encourage our kids to ask us questions about anything. And if we don’t have the answer to those curious questions we can say, “Let’s find out together!” 

2. Use proper terms 

Teach your child the correct names for body parts and functions. This helps us grow their understanding of their own bodies, and why they need to take extra care of private parts and who are the safe adults who can help them clean their bodies.  

3. Choose the right time and place 

Look out for natural opportunities to discuss these topics, such as during a drive or while watching a movie together.  

Ensure the environment is relaxed and private, making it easier for both of you to establish a safe connection and talk openly. 

4. Start with what’s good and beautiful 

Look out for natural opportunities to discuss these topics, such as during a drive or while watching a movie together.  

Ensure the environment is relaxed and private, making it easier for both of you to establish a safe connection and talk openly. 

5. Be age-appropriate 

Pay attention to your child’s questions and concerns. We should aim to provide honest answers but also be age-appropriate.  

 For example, we should not be revealing too many details about how people may abuse others for their own sexual gratification to a 5-year-old. This would rob them of their innocence and create unnecessary fears. 

6. Use resources

Remember to talk about values, consent, respect, and healthy relationships. These topics are as important to holistic sexuality education as puberty and sex. 

 Encourage your child to share their thoughts and questions about these topics.  

7. Be patient

Understand that these conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, but they will become easier with practice. Reassure your child that it’s normal to have questions and that they can always come to you. 

Conclusion 

Keep the conversation going. Regular check-ins can help your child feel supported as they navigate the growing up years, with puberty and relationships coming to the fore.  

 Remember, your goal is to provide accurate information and support your child as they grow. By approaching the topic with openness and sensitivity, you can help them feel more at ease coming to you whenever they have questions.  

  • The Netflix hit series Adolescence raises important issues about what makes healthy masculinity. Empower your sons with strength of character, integrity and compassion with practical insights and actionable steps in our parent’s e-guide. Download it today! 
  • With increasing porn use and voyeurism, the rise of AI companions, and confusion over one’s sexual identity, how can we protect the next generation’s hearts and minds? Sow into a lifetime of healthy relationships and purposeful living for your youths. Register for the Healthy Sexuality Masterclass today. 

10 Strategies to Help Our Children Navigate a “BANI” World

In recent years, we have witnessed a series of challenges that test our resilience:  

Regional wars.  

Deepfakes and DeepSeek.  

World leaderships changing hands at breakneck speed.  

Climate and man-made disasters popping up both in frequency and volume as quickly as a game of whack-a-mole. 

While many are familiar with the concept of a VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, some experts now suggest that our reality is better described as a BANI world. (Fun fact: VUCA was actually coined as far back as 1987 by the US Army War College, so I’m sure you’ll agree it’s nothing new) 

BANI stands for Brittle, Anxious, Non-Linear and Incomprehensible.  

This is an acronym created in 2018 by American futurist and writer Jamias Cascio to help update the vocabulary we need to describe this world we now live in. 

In a BANI world, what appears strong may in fact be fragile. The foundations we assume are unshakable can be surprisingly vulnerable. 

Understanding the BANI World 

Drawn from an article found in Forbes, below is a quick introduction to this description of our world: 

Brittle – The Illusion of Strength  

In a BANI world, what appears strong may in fact be fragile. The foundations we assume are unshakable can be surprisingly vulnerable—whether that be our public health or financial systems, geopolitical stability, and job security. It is illusory strength, the belief that “everything will be alright” and the assumption that everything we build our life on is secure, except that they aren’t.  

Anxious – The Illusion of Control  

Anxiety refers to a feeling of helplessness, of being overwhelmed by everything that one faces. It comes with stress and a fear of not being able to cope with what’s constantly happening in the world. We will never really know what will come, making it hard or impossible to make the “right” decisions free of risks. 

Non-linear – The Illusion of Predictability  

Life rarely follows a straight path. Instead, we encounter detours, dead ends, and unexpected outcomes along the way. Embracing this non-linearity enables us to become more adaptable and resourceful when confronted with change. 

Incomprehensible – The Illusion of Knowledge  

Finally, incomprehensible refers to people’s experience that they don’t understand what is going on. They can’t oversee it, can’t grasp it, can’t interpret what happens, and why. This means they can’t find the answers they are looking for and, as far as they do get answers, they can’t fully make sense of them either. Accepting that not everything in life can be neatly explained is liberating, prompting us to seek new perspectives and learn continuously. 

We would be bubble-wrapping our kids if we told them that life would be relatively pain-free, or that it could be carefully curated to fit our needs and lifestyles. 

Helping Our Children Thrive in a BANI World 

As parents, we need to prepare our kids for a reality that can be unpredictable and difficult to control. We would be bubble-wrapping our kids if we told them that life would be relatively pain-free, or that it could be carefully curated to fit our needs and lifestyles the way social media may appear to on the surface. 

Even the mundane events we plan for them daily, like attending classes or weekend enrichments, cannot entirely shield them from unexpected challenges. So, what can we do as parents to help our children thrive in a BANI world? 

Here are ten practical strategies: 

1. Foster Resilience

Since the world is brittle and full of unexpected changes, we need to equip our children with mental resilience. Encourage them to see failures as learning opportunities rather than setbacks. Teaching problem-solving skills and fostering a growth mindset can help them handle disappointments and uncertainties better. 

2. Teach Emotional Regulation

Anxiety is a natural response in a world that seems out of control. Help your children develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Techniques like mindfulness, breathing exercises, and journaling can be useful tools to manage stress and anxiety effectively.

3. Encourage Adaptability

Given that the world is non-linear, it’s important to teach children to embrace flexibility. Encourage them to be open to change and adaptable in the face of unexpected events. Knowing how to pivot when things don’t go as planned is a valuable life skill. 

4. Promote Critical Thinking

Incomprehensibility means that not everything is clear-cut or straightforward. Teach your kids to question information critically, verify sources, and develop the ability to analyse complex situations. This will help them make sense of the world even when things seem chaotic. 

5. Provide Stability at Home

While we cannot control external factors, we can create a sense of security at home. Establishing routines, setting clear expectations, and providing a supportive environment can help children feel safe and grounded despite the world’s uncertainties. 

6. Encourage Lifelong Learning

Since knowledge is constantly evolving, children need to develop a love for learning. Teach them that education doesn’t stop at school—it’s a lifelong process. Introduce them to new ideas, skills, and perspectives that will help them stay adaptable and informed. 

7. Model Resilience and Adaptability

Children learn best by observing their parents. Show them through your actions how to cope with challenges, remain calm in difficult situations, and bounce back from adversity. Your example will be more powerful than any lecture.

8. Develop Strong Community Ties

In a volatile world, a strong support system is crucial. Encourage children to build meaningful relationships with family, friends, and mentors who can guide and support them in times of uncertainty.

9. Limit Exposure to Negative Media

While staying informed is important, excessive exposure to negative news can increase anxiety. Teach children how to filter information, recognise when their emotions get triggered, and focus on constructive and solution-based narratives. Better yet, have family conversations on how we might do our part in addressing some of these societal challenges

10. Encourage Purpose and Meaning

Finally, children need to have a sense of purpose. Help them find passions and causes that inspire them. Having a strong “why” can anchor them in times of uncertainty and provide motivation to keep moving forward. 

Our children don’t need parents who have all the answers—they need parents who are committed to grow with them.

While the world may feel brittle, anxious, non-linear, and incomprehensible, we are not powerless. As we reflect on these strategies, it’s important to acknowledge that parenting in a BANI world is no simple feat. The realities we face are complex, and while the principles outlined here may serve as guidelines, their application will look different for every family. 

But if there’s one thing to take away, it’s this: you don’t have to get everything right. Our children don’t need parents who have all the answers—they need parents who are committed to grow with them. The goal isn’t perfection, but rather—with love, wisdom, and intentional effort, we can raise resilient, adaptable children who are prepared to face the future head-on.  

When Should I Start Talking to My Child About Sex?

Talking to Your Child About Sex: A Guide for Parents 

Discussing sex with your child can feel awkward and daunting, but it’s an essential part of their development. We recommend approaching the topic early, when your child is around the age of four or five, as we set the tone by being their first source of information in this important area of life.  

Furthermore, by starting young, our kids generally don’t feel as awkward about the topic, as they would be more curious and open to listening to what you have to say. Broaching the subject in teenhood is another matter altogether, as the teen awkwardness would have usually started, and they may have already heard things from their friends.  

By applying openness and honesty, you can help your child understand their bodies, relationships, and boundaries that can help keep them safe.  

Here’s a guide to help you navigate these conversations with ease. 

Preschool years (4-6 Years)  

Laying the Foundation

At this age, children are naturally curious about their bodies and the differences between boys and girls. Use simple, accurate language to answer their questions.  

For example, if your child asks where babies come from, you can say, “Babies grow in a special place inside their mommy’s tummy called the uterus.” Or they may ask: “Why are boys and girls’ bodies different? 

Emphasise the importance of privacy and having safe boundaries for themselves. For example, what is good versus bad touch? This will help us set up safeguards against sexual abuse. 

Primary years (7-9 Years)   

Building on Basics 

As children grow, their questions may become more detailed. Continue to provide accurate information and encourage open communication. You can introduce the concept of puberty and explain that their bodies will go through changes as they grow older. For example, you might say, “During puberty, your body will start to change, and you’ll notice things like hair growing in new places and your voice getting deeper.” 

Check out our Talk About Sex video on What is Puberty? It’s designed for parent-and-child to view together.  

Tween years (10-12 years)   

Preparing for Puberty

By this age, children are likely to have heard some information about sex from friends, media, or school. It’s crucial to provide them with accurate information and address any misconceptions. Start by discussing what makes a healthy relationship, and what red flags to watch out for.  

Also, help your tween understand why porn is unhealthy for them, and why it can be so addictive. 

General Tips for All Ages 

  1. Be approachable: Let your child know they can come to you with any questions or concerns. 
  2. Use age-appropriate language: Tailor your explanations to your child’s level of understanding. 
  3. Encourage open communication: Create a safe space for your child to express their thoughts and feelings. 
  4. Be honest: Provide accurate information and correct any misconceptions. 
  5. Respect their privacy: Allow your child to ask questions and share their thoughts without judgment. 

Remember, talking to our children about sex is an ongoing conversation. Starting young helps us lay a good foundation for more conversations and trickier topics.  

By being open, honest, and supportive, we are their best guides to help them navigate this area of their development with confidence. 

  • The Netflix hit series Adolescence raises important issues about what makes healthy masculinity. Empower your sons with strength of character, integrity and compassion with practical insights and actionable steps in our parent’s e-guide. Download it today! 
  • With increasing porn use and voyeurism, the rise of AI companions, and confusion over one’s sexual identity, how can we protect the next generation’s hearts and minds? Sow into a lifetime of healthy relationships and purposeful living for your youths. Register for the Healthy Sexuality Masterclass today. 

Conversations About Sex Need Not Be So Tough

Research shows that when parents engage their children in topics on sexuality, their children grow to make wiser choices in relationships and sex. To help you overcome your fears in broaching the topic, we have designed a Talk About Sex video series specially for parent and child (aged 7-12) to enjoy, engage with and learn together!
Find out more

What to Do If Your Child Stumbles Upon Porn

As busy parents, it can be challenging to constantly supervise all of our children’s online activities. However, it remains all the more crucial to keep watch over our kids. In today’s digital age, it’s not uncommon for children to accidentally stumble upon inappropriate content online, including porn.  

If your child comes to you after chancing upon inappropriate content, it’s important to handle the situation with care and understanding. Here are some tips on how to manage such a conversation. 

1. Stay calm and composed 

Breathe. It’s crucial to remain calm and composed as our reactions will set the tone for the conversation and determine whether our children feel safe enough to come to us, when such incidents occur. 

2. Ask open-ended questions  

Ask open-ended questions to understand what they saw and how they felt about it. This helps in gauging their level of understanding and emotional state. 

Some examples of questions you can ask: What did the image or video show? How long did the video play for? How did it make you feel? 

A person’s private parts are meant to be kept private. If you see such images again, do tell mummy or daddy so we can keep you safe. 

3. Provide age-appropriate information 

Help your child process what they saw. Avoid giving too much detail but do be honest in order to build trust. 

If your child is a preschooler, and does not seem to remember or understand what they saw, avoid scolding or shaming them.  

However, emphasise that inappropriate content abound on the internet and boundaries will have to be set and adhered to, in order to keep them safe. Use statements like, “A person’s private parts are meant to be kept private. If you see such images again, do tell mummy or daddy so we can keep you safe.” 

If your child is in primary school, you should highlight the dangers of watching inappropriate material, including porn addiction and normalizing or mimicking the sexual behaviours they see online.  

For more handles on how to talk about porn, register to access our Talk About Sex Video Series. 

4. Reassure your child

Reassure your child that they are not in trouble and that it is okay to talk about anything with you. Let them know it’s a normal part of growing up to be curious and/or to have sexual feelings. 

5. Set boundaries for online safety

Use this opportunity to educate them about online safety and the importance of not sharing personal information or clicking on unknown links. Discuss and set rules of when and how your child can use mobile devices with internet connection. It is also a good idea to install parental controls on all devices in the home and use these tools to keep them safe. 

Creating a safe and open environment at home encourages our children to feel comfortable approaching us with any issues they encounter, whether online or offline. 

  • The Netflix hit series Adolescence raises important issues about what makes healthy masculinity. Empower your sons with strength of character, integrity and compassion with practical insights and actionable steps in our parent’s e-guide. Download it today! 
  • With increasing porn use and voyeurism, the rise of AI companions, and confusion over one’s sexual identity, how can we protect the next generation’s hearts and minds? Sow into a lifetime of healthy relationships and purposeful living for your youths. Register for the Healthy Sexuality Masterclass today.