Published on 01 June, 2025
In a fast-paced world that constantly demands more, even of our young from the moment they enter school, Gen Z are facing an identity crisis—Who am I really, and what do I stand for?
Many are searching for anchors in a world that feels ever-changing— brittle, anxious, non-linear, and incomprehensible (BANI).
Yet even in this complex cultural moment, there is hope. A strong sense of self can be nurtured—and it begins with the quiet, consistent influence of family, strengthened by the presence of mentors and role models in their lives.
These relationships provide a sense of belonging and a foundation of values that help Gen Z stand firm in who they are, no matter what challenges life brings.
Through this piece, we hear from 3 Gen Zs: Tan Li, Noah Phan, and Dominick Ong, on how their identity has been shaped by their family and mentors.
Every journey of self-discovery starts at home. Our first teachers are our families.
In a culture that stresses academic success and career milestones, young people may feel defined solely by their performance. However, when families model unconditional love and timeless values, a deeper identity takes root.
Tan Li shares, “My sense of self is deeply rooted in my values and beliefs which has shaped my sense of self to be one that is not rooted in or influenced by societal views or standards.”
Her words remind us that identity comes from unwavering principles established from young, not from fleeting trends. A strong family identity gives youth clarity in times of change—whether at school, work, or in personal relationships. It anchors them against the shifting pressures of life, especially in seasons of transition.
Noah echoes this sentiment, “I define my sense of self and identity with the self-assuredness that I am grounded by my values and belief systems, which also came from my upbringing, personal experiences and perspective of the world.”
When parents live out their values consistently, they offer a blueprint for children to imitate and learn from. In this way, families have the power to shape a young person’s worldview, life choices and relational skills.
A strong family identity gives youth clarity in times of change—whether at school, work, or in personal relationships.
A stable identity does not mean a life without challenges. In fact, moments of uncertainty often test our beliefs. For Gen Z, major transitions like finishing school or facing career choices can feel overwhelming.
Dominick recalls a time when he felt a loss of control during his army days. “The pressure and the loneliness of camp made it very difficult for me to cope and emotionally regulate myself. Thankfully, a youth mentor journeyed with me, and gave me a space to externally process my thoughts and fears, which helped me regain a sense of control over my life.”
It’s a sentiment many of us can relate to: the fear that the challenges we meet will overwhelm us, and the niggling self-doubt that creeps in. This moment of vulnerability is common.
It is during such times that the belief in one’s intrinsic worth must be strong. Families and communities should reinforce that our value goes beyond grades or accolades.
Tan Li adds, “When I find myself in situations outside of my control, such as in life or job transitions, I found that keeping myself connected socially and within a community was crucial in helping me maintain a healthy state of wellbeing.”
The power of community, especially one that shares our values, cannot be overstated. It reminds us we are still deeply seen and valued, even when we are uncertain about where we are headed next in life.
A supportive community can help young people feel less isolated in seasons of transition, whether that be studying, working, or starting a new phase of life.
When I find myself in situations outside of my control, such as in life or job transitions, I found that keeping myself connected socially and within a community was crucial in helping me maintain a healthy state of wellbeing.
While family lays the foundation, mentors shape and refine that identity. They walk alongside the youth, offering guidance and demonstrating what living one’s values looks like in daily life.
Noah recalls a key lesson about his father: “My father has a strong sense of responsibility, and I picked up that trait from him since I was young. It has guided me through difficult situations and will continue to guide me as I continue life.”
Responsibility is learned through example. Observing family and mentors who live authentically can set a clear path for the youth.
In his own experience, Dominick found that mentors come and go in different seasons: “One helped me process my childhood hurts, another played the role of an elder brother figure that I could look up to, and yet another guided me through my adolescent years. They all played crucial roles in different seasons of my life and helped me process hurts from my own family life and upbringing.”
By being accessible and genuine, mentors provide a safe space for growth. They listen, advise, and help young people navigate the complexities of life while affirming their worth beyond measurable success.
Mentors may have more life experience and wisdom, but the best mentors are ones who are quick to listen and come alongside our youth.
As Clement Cheong, a seasoned youth mentor echoed, “It is important to see the world as this generation sees it. It is easy for us to fall into a ‘I know more than you’ mentality. But I have learnt much over the years from my mentees.”
He added, “Mentoring is a two-way traffic. We share yet we listen. Only then can we feel the heartbeat of this generation.”
Mentoring is a two-way traffic. We share yet we listen. Only then can we feel the heartbeat of this generation.
As mental health becomes an increasingly important concern among young people in Singapore, it’s clear that identity and emotional well-being are closely connected. When young people feel safe, understood, and valued, they are more likely to thrive.
While there are more mental health resources available in Singapore, it is also important to create informal spaces for Gen Zs to build depth in relationships in their everyday life, beyond professional channels. This was a point raised by Dr Suzanne Choo, an educator for more than 20 years, at the State of the Family event organised by Focus on the Family earlier this year.
Sometimes, we think strength means keeping it all together. But strength is also knowing when to reach out, and letting ourselves be seen by those we trust and have our best interest at heart.
For Tan Li, this looks like arranging intentional time-outs such as going for a short getaway, hanging out with friends, or being outdoors.
Similarly for Dominick, he enjoys spending his downtime alone, journalling, running or being in the outdoors. “Solitude is important for me,” he reflects.
As for Noah, he credits his stability to being plugged in to communities of people that actively listen and keep me socially accountable, as well as pursuing his passions in volunteering and staying physically active.
Maintaining our mental wellbeing looks different for everyone. What’s important is that we don’t self-isolate and to seek help when needed.
Every generation faces its own challenges—but Gen Z is not lost. They are searching. And when they find families who love them unconditionally, mentors who commit to walk with them patiently —they won’t just survive, but will flourish.
As Dominick shared, “It’s a journey of recognising that I have autonomy as an adult to be able to face challenges and overcome them.”
Let us believe in them. Let us encourage them. Together, we can give Gen Zs the ability to walk through life’s uncertainties with courage.
Tan Li, Noah Phan, and Dominick Ong are part of the FamChamps Council, a youth development programme that raises young family champions.
The 11th run of our FamChamps Camp is happening from 28 to 31 Oct this year and we are looking to recruit Mentors (aged 21 and above) to embark on a 8-month camp experience journey with youths aged 13 to 14 years old. If you have a heart to work with young people and want to be equipped to make a positive impact on their families, find out more about this volunteering opportunity at our upcoming Volunteer Open House on 24 June 2025!
