Published on 01 October, 2026
At a glance:
Many parents wonder why their adult children aren’t dating, even though they seem successful in other areas of life. They have completed their education, started working and travelled. Yet, relationships remain absent.
A recent Singapore survey found that two in five young adults aged 22 to 29 have never been in a romantic relationship. This raises an important question:
Why are so many youths delaying relationships, and how can we help them feel ready?
We spoke to Grace Heng who has some ideas for busy parents to better understand their adult children. Grace runs Sacred Companions, a community supporting Christian singles in their search for a godly partner.
Helping youths feel ready for relationships begins with understanding the pressures they face today and creating an environment where healthy relationships can naturally develop.
Young people do desire romantic relationships. However, relationships often fall behind competing priorities like building a career, pursuing further education, supporting ageing parents and achieving financial stability.
Dating needs time, emotional energy, and effort. When life already feels overwhelming, relationships become something they promise to prepare for “soon”. But parents like yourself may be anxious to know what “soon” actually means.
Many young adults say they struggle to move beyond small talk.
According to Grace, while social media and dating apps make meeting people easier than ever, they don’t necessarily teach people how to build meaningful conversations. “Many of us genuinely struggle to connect, whether on dating apps or at social events. A lot of them can’t get past the small talk,” she said.
Previous generations often developed these skills naturally through hanging out with their kampung and school mates. But today’s heavily digital world provides fewer opportunities to cultivate deep friendships face-to-face.
But here’s the good news: conversation is a skill, not a personality trait.
Parents, you can encourage your teens and young adults to:
Confidence in relationships often grows through repeated social experiences rather than waiting to feel naturally confident.
Dating apps have expanded opportunities to meet people, but they also create unrealistic expectations. With thousands of profiles available, it is tempting to think there is always someone better just one swipe away. The fear of “buyer’s remorse” over settling for a less-than-ideal spouse keeps young people from committing.
Most young people know better than to focus only on the outward appearance but to also consider the person’s character and heart. However, many do not invest enough time to discover a potential mate’s compatibility, values and interests.
Dating profiles highlight visible characteristics such as education and hobbies. But qualities that sustain healthy relationships like emotional maturity only become apparent through deep conversations.
Dating apps can be useful tools, but they work best when they support, rather than replace, real human connection. As Grace points out, “More often than not, the best place to learn is to really just trial and error and try. Just go out, try, put yourself out there and if you make mistakes, that’s fine because other people make mistakes too.”
Not every single young adult is avoiding relationships for the same reason.
Some are protecting themselves from past disappointment, or the fear that they would repeat the mistakes of their own parents in their own relationships.
Parents need to help youths honestly explore the emotions behind their motivations, so that they can grow to overcome the barriers to finding fulfilment.
Healthy relationships cannot develop in isolation. Community provides value that algorithms cannot: shared experiences, encouragement, emotional support and natural introductions to potential suiters.
This is where singles events provide meaningful opportunities for young people. Many young adults leave singles events feeling encouraged, not necessarily because they found a partner, but because they realised they were not alone.
In addition to Community, Grace encourages parents and youths to consider these other two Cs:
Exploring a potential relationship needs courage. Unfortunately, sometimes facing a parent’s questioning may need courage too, so it helps to ease into such conversations gently.
To help your child feel safe to talk with you about relationships, it might be helpful to reflect on these questions together:
That step might look like:
Small moments of courage often provide the spark that sets up meaningful relationships.
Modern dating isn’t struggling because young people no longer value love. Many still long for deep, committed relationships. They are simply navigating a world where emotional capacity is limited, choices feel overwhelming, and vulnerability can seem increasingly risky.
Parents can make a tremendous difference by replacing pressure with empathy, encouraging emotional growth alongside personal achievement, and helping their children build clarity, courage, and community.
Ultimately, relationship readiness isn’t about finding the perfect person overnight. It grows through meaningful conversations, healthy friendships, and small acts of vulnerability.
Nelson and Gina
Workshop: May 2026
Nelson and Gina Lee have been accredited facilitators with Focus on the Family Singapore for over a decade, beginning their involvement conducting relationship talks for tertiary students since 2011.
Driven by a passion for nurturing strong relationships, they have extensive experience in facilitating dating workshops for courting couples and pre-marital programmes for those considering marriage. They have also have led marriage retreats designed to deepen connection and commitment among married couples.
