5 Ways to Build a Strong Family while Balancing Work and Studies
5 Ways to Build a Strong Family while Balancing Work and Studies
Healthy ways to thrive in busy seasons
Published on 18 November, 2024
Last week, I found myself overwhelmed by a major work project. We had to set up engagement meetings for a launch next year, and I was also juggling final assignments for my semester—one on a complex topic I wasn’t familiar with.
On top of that, I was in the midst of applying for practicum sites for my counselling studies, while balancing time with my wife and young children at home.
Many readers may relate to the challenge of balancing multiple responsibilities. Some thrive on it, while others feel stretched, wondering if they’re doing enough for their families. Here, I share 5 lessons that have helped me find stability and purpose, even during life’s busiest times.
“Strong family bonds are built through the daily practice of presence: being attentive to each other’s needs, taking a sincere interest in one another’s lives, and speaking each other’s love languages.”
1. Prioritise building strong family bonds
I believe in the power of strong family bonds. Healthy family relationships provide essential emotional support, offering warmth and security that few other things in life can match.
Strong family bonds are built through the daily practice of presence: being attentive to each other’s needs, taking a sincere interest in one another’s lives, and speaking each other’s love languages. I’m grateful for how my wife listens to my frustrations, and I make it a point to do the same for her. During last week’s stressful period, her understanding gave me the perspective and strength I needed.
Parenting can also be surprisingly comforting. Although it takes time and energy, our children’s affection can bring joy and ease our tensions. My son’s little notes, hugs, and gifts remind me of what truly matters in life.
2. Extend support beyond your family
These principles for building strong family connections can be extended to friendships and workplace relationships. Friendships, whether at work or elsewhere, can offer us support, especially in challenging times.
Beyond our peers, open and respectful communication with our supervisors also fosters a healthy work environment. Last week, a helpful conversation with my supervisor gave me the support I needed on a project, and allowed me to deprioritise tasks that didn’t serve my goals. This freed my time up for other equally meaningful pursuits at home and in my studies.
“Family remains a priority, and I set aside time and energy for their needs, even if it means scaling back on other ambitions.”
3. Let go of perfection
When we juggle multiple responsibilities, it’s unrealistic to expect a perfect outcome for every task. For instance, I learned that achieving straight A’s in my postgraduate studies wasn’t feasible while managing other commitments. Similarly, expecting endless emotional availability from myself or my family wasn’t reasonable, so I had to extend grace to my family members (and similarly receive the same from them too).
4. Set realistic goals to prioritise what matters
Adjusting our expectations is key to managing stress during intense periods at work and school. While excelling in our careers and studies is important, we should avoid compromising our core relationships in the pursuit of achievements.
Knowing my values and committing to them helps me find balance. So for me, family remains a priority, and I set aside time and energy for their needs, even if it means scaling back on other ambitions at work and in my school.
Ironically, releasing myself from the pressure to excel academically has improved my performance, as I became less anxious and more focused.
As the founder of Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy, Albert Ellis, once said, “People tend to disturb themselves with their ‘Should’s and ‘Must’s.” By letting go of unrealistic expectations, we can focus on what truly matters and develop greater resilience for life.
“Ignoring our needs at the expense of meeting the needs of others will lead to exhaustion, making us more prone to mistakes and burnout during busy seasons.”
5. Tend to our own needs
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of balancing life’s demands is ensuring our own needs are met. We wouldn’t expect a car to carry passengers and baggage if it’s out of fuel, yet we often overlook our own “fuel tanks.” Ignoring our needs at the expense of meeting the needs of others will lead to exhaustion, making us more prone to mistakes and burnout during busy seasons.
How do we know if we’re meeting our needs effectively? William Glasser, the founder of Choice Theory, identifies five basic human needs:
i. Love and belonging: The need for connection, affection, and acceptance from others.
ii. Power: The need for achievement, competence, and recognition.
iii. Freedom: The need for autonomy and the ability to make choices.
iv. Fun: The need for enjoyment, play, and creativity.
v. Survival: The basic need for physical health, safety, and security.
Checking our need-o-meter can serve as a reminder to care for ourselves. We may start small, like rewarding ourselves with a nice meal after a busy week (meeting our fun and survival needs) or seeking alignment between our career and personal strengths (meeting our need for power and freedom).
Remember, balance requires flexibility. By periodically assessing and meeting our needs, we can handle life’s demands with greater purpose and intentionality.
In season and out of season
Nature teaches us valuable lessons about balance. Just as fruits thrive in their own seasons, and climates shift throughout the year, our lives also cycle through seasons of activity and rest.
We can’t sustain peak performance indefinitely without risking our most important relationships and well-being. Let’s prioritise what truly matters, invest in our support systems, and give ourselves the grace to adapt to life’s changing seasons. This way, we can emerge from each season with renewed strength and insight.
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