Published on 15 September, 2026
At a glance:
Does your preschooler touch his genital area often, especially in public or around others? This can be distressing for many parents. In most cases, however, this is a normal part of childhood development.
Young children are naturally curious about their bodies and may discover, usually by accident, that touching certain body parts feels comforting and soothing.
There was once my child, who was feeling some discomfort at having to face discipline for a mistake he made, began to pull at his genitals. Upon observing him, I realised that it could be a form of self-soothing, since he was feeling nervous about the punishment that was soon to be meted out.
So I said to him in a calm voice:
“Are you feeling anxious about having to face punishment for your behaviour?”
He nodded.
I then responded by explaining, “It’s normal to feel anxious and to feel bad after making a mistake. Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world. We can decide together on what might be a suitable consequence to help you learn from this.”
After a few moments, as he calmed down, the touching also stopped.
Even if the touching behaviour does not seem linked to a particular incident, try to understand the need that lies beneath the action. Could your child be curious, mimicking others’ behaviour, or simply bored and seeking something to do or play with.
Try to help them identify the feelings that may be triggering the behaviour. Ask your child, “Are you feeling anxious about something at school?” Then listen out for what they have to say.
Rather than scolding your child, try responding calmly and matter-of-factly. You might say:
“Every part of our body deserves respect. Some parts are private, so we keep them covered and don’t touch them unnecessarily.”
This helps your child learn two truths about the body. That it is not shameful to be curious about our own bodies, and that there are proper boundaries to keep to. You can also re-direct their attention to other soothing and calming options, such as hugging their favourite blanket or soft toy.
However, if the behaviour seems excessive, or if your child appears uncomfortable, it may be worth checking for other possible causes such as skin irritation, rashes, or an infection.
Most importantly, keep the communication lines friendly and open. Use the opportunity to teach your child the correct names for body parts, personal boundaries, and body safety in an age-appropriate way.
By responding calmly and consistently, we can be our children’s best guides to their curious questions about their body!
Nelson and Gina
Workshop: May 2026
Nelson and Gina Lee have been accredited facilitators with Focus on the Family Singapore for over a decade, beginning their involvement conducting relationship talks for tertiary students since 2011.
Driven by a passion for nurturing strong relationships, they have extensive experience in facilitating dating workshops for courting couples and pre-marital programmes for those considering marriage. They have also have led marriage retreats designed to deepen connection and commitment among married couples.
