Child’s Life Stage: Tween

Why is Porn So Readily Accessible?

Why is Porn So Readily Accessible? 

In a previous article where we explored “Why is porn so addictive?”, the pervasiveness of porn came up as a contributing factor because of how easily accessible they have become today. A quick look at the figures published by a cybersecurity company underscores the extent of this accessibility: 

Every Second: 

  • 28,258 users are watching pornography on the internet. 
  • $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography on the internet. 

In this follow-up piece, we will explore “Why is porn so easily accessible?” by taking a deep dive into the forces that drive the proliferation of porn, and offer a few practical handles for kids in dealing with such exposure. 

The ubiquity of technology and devices 

There is no doubt that technology has greatly changed the way we live. For example, we certainly enjoy numerous conveniences and entertainment the Internet brings us – ordering our favourite dinner and embarking on a professional development course are now just a few clicks away. Lockdowns and quarantines during Covid years have only deepened the intensity and accelerated the rate of our digital connection. However, the flip side of having such a high connectivity, also means that it is probably easier to access sexually explicit materials than to avoid them.  

In the early 2000s, porn used to be contained in age-restricted print materials and subscription-based platforms. It was a service only paying customers could access. This was the chief revenue model for the porn industry, until video-streaming platforms started to revolutionise the way we consume information and entertainment.  

Inspired by YouTube’s success, the porn industry was swift in adapting to streaming platforms that were not only free for any user to access, but also offered better means of generating revenue for companies. 

Given how much of our lives both at home and at work now relies on staying connected, it would be unimaginable for one to be without a device. Yet, we often forget the tremendous power of connectivity this small device yields. A double-edged sword hidden in pockets, our devices have opened us up to the very best technology has to offer, while proving to be equally, if not more, dangerous, at the same time.  

Under Singapore Law, it is illegal for an individual to keep, possess, or download porn. Although IMDA has banned approximately 100 websites as a token gesture of disapproval, it is not illegal to watch or stream pornographic content online. That means any child with a connected device will still be able to easily access or stumble upon porn at the click of a button, in the absence of rigorous parental controls. 

A profit-driven entity at its finest 

Revenue estimates for the porn industry vary widely, and understandably so. Not only is it impossible to obtain accurate figures from privately-held porn companies, it is also challenging to account for the entire porn industry. For instance, the membership platform, “OnlyFans”, has become synonymous with porn even though it was originally meant for creators to directly monetise their content, adult or not.  

The steady rise of individual porn creators through such membership platforms further complicates the effort to obtain an accurate estimate to how much the industry is really worth. Nonetheless, several estimates clearly put it as a multi-billion-dollar industry.  

To understand how the rest of the porn industry continues to generate revenue despite offering free-to-stream videos, we need to first understand how porn advertising works. They do not work the same way as advertising for a handbag or a pair of shoes.  

Since porn companies are blocked from advertising on traditional media outlets, they have only other porn companies to turn to, for their advertising. For perspective, Pornhub’s annual report revealed a staggering 42 billion visitors in 2019 alone, reflecting a very robust base of potential consumers that could be funnelled through advertising into another paid porn site. In other words, Pornhub receives lucrative advertising fees in return for offering free-to-stream videos.  

Apart from advertising dollars, porn companies are also able to monetise user data and profiling that they capture from their online visitors. For these reasons, porn companies are motivated and invested to continue offering free content that generates the highest possible viewership, because every click on their website translates to dollars and cents.  

Practical handles for when your child is exposed to porn 

In the effort to safeguard our children, some of us turn to parental control apps on their devices. However, even the best app will fail, as Google search engine reminds us that there are always creative ways to bypass restrictions.  

If there is one thing parental control apps are good for, it is buying us time for building up a more reliable “internal filter” in our children, and time for teaching them practical handles to deal with exposure to porn.  

A few practical handles include (when speaking directly to your child):  

  1. Look away immediately – Close the laptop or put down the device and walk away immediately. Resist the urge to linger or dwell on the image/video.

     

  2. Look to daddy or mommy – Seek out daddy or mommy in person, or if not possible, reach out to one of us as soon as possible via a phone call. You are not in trouble for being exposed to porn, you can always approach us. 

     

  3. Share what you saw – Let us know what you saw, how the images made you feel, and if you have any questions. We will journey through this together.  

Porn may be more accessible than ever, but as parents, we have greater influence when we ensure that our presence and guidance are even more accessible in our children’s lives.  

© 2023 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

Conversations About Sex Need Not Be So Tough

Research shows that when parents engage their children in topics on sexuality, their children grow to make wiser choices in relationships and sex. To help you overcome your fears in broaching the topic, we have designed a Talk About Sex video series specially for parent and child (aged 7-12) to enjoy, engage with and learn together!
Find out more

Date with Dad

Did you know?

There are approximately 678 weeks from the time your daughter is born until she becomes a teen.

Fathers are the first role models of relationships, and also their daughter’s first love.

Celebrate a transitional milestone with your daughter

Dads play a special and significant role in their daughters’ lives, especially during her adolescent years. Therefore, every day and every week matters.

Fathers, how you choose to nurture your father-daughter relationship will impact the way she sees herself, and her outlook on future relationships. To support your daughter’s transitions to teen-hood confidently, your daughter needs your presence and affirmation.

Whether you are a Mum who desires to see your husband spend quality time with your daughter, or a Dad who wants to do something different for your father-daughter relationship, Date with Dad is a thoughtfully curated experience, just for you!

This year, we return with 4 seatings to choose from, and you may select the day and timeslot that best fits your schedules for this special date:

Sat, 26 Apr | 12.00pm – 2.30pm (Lunch) Fully booked
Sat, 26 Apr | 7.00 – 9.30pm (Dinner) Fully booked
Sun, 27 Apr | 12.00pm – 2.30pm (Lunch) Fully booked
Sun, 27 Apr | 7.00 – 9.30pm (Dinner) Fully booked

Invite your daughter on an unforgettable date!
1.
Engage in deeper sharing about growing up experiences and treasured values.
2.
Connect through interactive games and activities designed to spark conversations.
3.
Create memories through special rite-of-passage moments during the event.

Create a core memory together

For Dads and their daughter (11 years old and above)

For the past 14 years, Date with Dad has been one of Focus Singapore’s signature events, where fathers are given an opportunity to affirm and celebrate their teen daughter’s milestone and journey to becoming a confident young woman.

We are fully booked!

Early Bird rate (ends on 21 Mar 2025):
$185/father-daughter pair

Regular rate:
$220/father-daughter pair

Stay updated to be notified when a spot opens.

Join the Waitlist
Sponsor
Supporting Partners

Frequently Asked Questions

Have questions? We’re here to help.

Date with Dad is a one-on-one event which allows you to establish that significant relationship with your daughter and give her your undivided attention.


If you have a younger daughter, you may wish to attend this event with her next year. 

Date with Dad is designed for dads to have deeper connections with daughters heading into their tweens and teenhood. 


You may wish to wait till your daughter is older so she will experience the full benefits of the programme.

The recommended maximum age for daughters is 16 years old as this event celebrates the important milestone of teen daughters becoming young women.

There are 4 seatings across 2 days to select from. Hence, it is a lunch or dinner affair for each father-daughter pair on either of the event dates. 


Father-daughter pairs may select the day and timeslot that best fits their schedules for this special date!

Research from Institute of Family Studies has shown that there is a unique bond between a father and his daughter — the father-daughter relationship greatly influences a girl’s developing self-image and approach to future romantic relationships.

Find a flat surface, place a ruler on your daughter's ring or middle finger and measure the width to determine the size of her ring.

 
 

There are 7 ring sizes, ranging from 1.60cm to 1.77cm, for you to choose from on the registration form. If the ring does not fit your daughter's finger, you will have the opportunity to do an exchange on the event day.

We encourage you to make all necessary arrangements to ensure that you and your daughter's schedules are clear for Date with Dad. There will be no refunds* for cancellations or no-shows.

Requests for transfer of registration will be accepted until 11 Apr 2025. Please email us at Chelsea.Cheng@family.org.sg.


*The Organiser reserves the rights to cancel or reschedule the event due to unforeseen circumstances. Every effort, however, will be made to inform participants as soon as possible of the change. For cancellation of event by the Organiser, fees will be refunded in full.

Conversation Starters for Healthy Sexuality

Talking about sex may seem awkward at first, but as you press on, it will begin to feel more natural.

Our effort to help our children develop a healthy understanding of love, relationships, and sex in marriage, is worthwhile.

As you take the first step towards a lifetime of healthy, wholesome relationships for your child, this eGuide will provide you with tools and tips to keep the conversations going! 

Suitable for parents with children aged 4 to 15 years.

Download PDF now (360.23 KB)

Conversations About Sex Need Not Be So Tough

Research shows that when parents engage their children in topics on sexuality, their children grow to make wiser choices in relationships and sex. To help you overcome your fears in broaching the topic, we have designed a Talk About Sex video series specially for parent and child (aged 7-12) to enjoy, engage with and learn together!
Find out more

Raising Resilient Kids

Building B.O.U.N.C.E for the bumps in life

Raising Resilient Kids

We live in an increasingly fast-paced and competitive society often described as a VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, where the pressure to succeed and perform can leave our children feeling panic-stricken and overwhelmed.

How can we nurture our child’s psychological resilience to better manage stress? Be empowered to emotionally coach your child towards a positive and healthy attitude for learning and living! 

Participants will be equipped with skills to:
1.
Understand your child’s world and potential stressors
2.
Process feelings in a healthy and productive manner
3.
Inculcate values and beliefs that will anchor your child in times of difficulty

Details

Duration: 1 – 1.5 hrs  

Delivery Format: Talks can be conducted either onsite or online via Zoom 

Enquiries:
Find out how you can encourage a growth mindset in your child!

Contact us

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

The ParentEdTM Dialogues

Personalised parenting solutions for your unique child

The ParentEdTM Dialogues

Every child is unique, with their own personality – and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. 

In the ParentEd Dialogues, parents will learn how to take a targeted and intentional approach when parenting each unique child. Each session is led by a Family Coach, who will help parents explore their current parenting challenges, introduce innovative approaches and provide useful feedback to develop real solutions and actions to bring about lasting change in the way you parent! 

Why the ParentEd Dialogues?
1.
Engage with a Family Coach who can guide you in optimising your parenting style
2.
Establish new friendships with like-minded parents in a safe community setting
3.
Equip yourself with fresh perspectives and practical tools to strengthen your parent-child relationship

These dialogue series cover foundational principles that are relevant across all age groups. They promise candid sharing and stimulating conversations among like-minded sojourners on the parenting journey. It’s a great place to acquire timeless principles, priceless perspectives and practical tools for informed, involved and intentional parenting! 

  • Dialogue 1 | The Parent Species: Becoming the parent we want to be 
  • Dialogue 2 | C.S.I – Child Species Investigation: Bringing out the best in your unique child 
  • Dialogue 3 | Creative Correction: Making discipline firm and friendly 
  • Dialogue 4 | High-5s at Home: Nurture the parent-child relationship 

Details

Duration: 4 x 2hr sessions 

Delivery Format: This workshop is to be conducted onsite with min. 10 pax & max. 20 pax.  

Have questions?
Find out how you can empower parent communities!

I'd like to find out more!

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

SexEdTM Workshop

Cultivating secure identity, true intimacy & authentic relationships

SexEdTM Workshop

Today’s highly sexualised culture can overwhelm us with conflicting ideas about love, sex and relationships. Knowing the facts about love and God’s truth about sex empowers us to make healthy and beneficial life choices, so that we can enjoy His blessings of real love, true intimacy and genuine freedom. 

Explore together God’s design for human beings and relationships, as we talk about: 

  1. Sexual Identity: What determines my sex? How do I know my sexual orientation? What’s wrong with premarital sex? 

  2. Sexual Integrity: What is the purpose of sex? What does sexual wholeness mean to me? How important is sexual health and purity?  

  3. Sexual Intelligence: How do values and sexual consent affect decision making? How can I navigate love and relationships?  

  4. Sexual Issues: How do I make sense of the different sexual orientations and gender identities? How does masturbation, pornography or abortion affect me?  

  5. Sexual Discourse: How can I have a safe conversation about sexuality? What do I do when my sexual values differ from the crowd? 

Details

Duration: 2 hrs per module 

Delivery Format: This workshop is to be conducted onsite with min. 20 pax & max. 40 pax. 

Have more questions?
Our Outreach team is ready to answer any questions you may have! 

Find out more!

Interest List

Join the Interest List to be updated on our next run.

Interest List

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

Raising Relationally-Smart Kids

Parental guidance to talk about sex

Raising Relationally-Smart Kids

Talking about sex can be one of the most daunting tasks for parents, especially if we never had the subject broached with us when growing up. How then can we confidently discuss healthy sexuality, love and relationships with our children?

Discover how you can help your child make wise decisions about their health, relationships, and life!

Participants will be equipped with skills to:
1.
Engage your children in open and honest conversations about sex and relationship
2.
Tackle growing online risks such as pornography and inappropriate content
3.
Empower your children on setting healthy boundaries with their peers

Details

Duration: 1 – 1.5 hrs 

Delivery Format:
Talks can be conducted either onsite or online via Zoom 

Have questions?
Reach out to find out more about this webinar! 

I'm keen to find out more!

Join the Interest List

Registration for this webinar has closed. Please join the Interest List for 2024.

Interest List

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

Raising Screenwise Kids

Empowering kids to navigate the virtual world

Raising Screenwise Kids

With so much of our children’s time now spent online, how can we raise them to be screenwise and future-ready?

It can be a parent’s greatest challenge to set limits on screentime and boundaries around digital content consumption. Yet if done right, our children can be empowered to consume media wisely.

This webinar is all about creating a healthy, balanced relationship with technology that goes beyond mere rules and restrictions.

Participants will be equipped with skills to:
1.
Establish positive digital habits as a family and enjoy meaningful offline experiences
2.
Set clear and safe boundaries for screen time and online interactions
3.
Navigate tensions and disagreement about screentime

* Available Funding:
This topic is available for funding under the collaboration with Infocomm Media Development Authority (IMDA) Digital for Life Fund*. 

To be eligible for the subsided programme fee, the following requirements are to be met:  

  • Minimum requirement of 20 parents in attendance on actual day.  
  • Minimum requirement of at least 75% of participants to submit programme feedback form after attending the session 

Details

Duration: 1 – 1.5 hrs 

Delivery Format:
Talks can be conducted either onsite or online via Zoom 

Have more questions?
Reach out to find out how you can bring this programme to your workplace or community!

Register your interest

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

Register Your Interest

Playing to My Strengths As A Father

In today’s world, fathers are increasingly expected to play equal roles with mothers in terms of hands-on care. However, many of us grew up in an age where fathers played more traditional roles, leaving childcare mostly to the mothers. Lacking in role models from their own lives, some fathers may find it intimidating to bond with or care for their little ones, or even struggle to juggle both traditional and modern expectations of fathers.  

As a father to two young children, I too have felt inadequate. I often compared myself with mummy, who seems to tackle modern motherhood effortlessly, whether it was bringing home the bacon, cooking, cleaning, or caring for the children. Her list seems infinitely longer than mine! 

Though self-doubt continues to be a struggle, I have come a long way in building my confidence as a father. A time of personal reflection, as well as regular affirmation from my wife, has led me to realise that as a father, I play a unique and irreplaceable role in the family.  

Here are some ways I have learnt to step up in my role as a father.   

“Parents each have unique interests and personalities that can contributed to enriching our children’s development.“

1. Leverage one’s unique personality and interests  

While it is good for parents to recognise our weaknesses and build on them, it should not blind us to our existing strengths. My wife and I have unique interests and personalities that have contributed to enriching our children’s development.  

In terms of interests, my wife exposes the children to arts and crafts, cooking, and applies her experiences as an educator to help them learn subjects such as English. As for myself, I bring my sense of humour and creativity to playtime and storytelling, expose my children to mechanical and open-ended styles of play through toys such as Lego and Transformers, and introduce them to other interests like coffee-making. 

Personality-wise, my wife brings more energy and spontaneity, and a sense of adventure to our outings together while I bring a tender love and warmth to our relationships, which creates an atmosphere of safety and acceptance in the home.  

“Avoid unhealthy comparisons with other parents, and zero in on each other’s strengths and contributions to the family.“

2. Recognise that we contribute to the family differently

It is human nature to compare ourselves to others, especially in terms of performance and ability. While this can sometimes serve as a benchmark for growth, such comparisons can become toxic when we cling too tightly to unrealistic standards.  

Rather than compete on who is the “better” parent at home, it has been helpful for my wife and I to take time to reflect and affirm each other – and ourselves! – on the different ways we contribute to the family.  

For instance, my wife is better able to juggle the many tasks at home, spanning from household chores to caring for the kids. She is more natural at keeping the house looking fresh and homely, in part by keeping a lookout for good deals on household items. As an educator by profession, she keeps a better pulse on our children’s learning needs and school schedules. Finally, as the more adventurous parent, she keeps abreast of events and activities that the family can enjoy. 

On the other hand, I am better at managing conflicts and meltdowns at home, whether it was between my wife and I or with the children. I am also good at giving the children undivided attention and tuning in to their interests and thoughts, which helps boost their confidence and self-esteem. Finally, I feel better able at guiding the family on making bigger decisions, such as career choices, choosing where to stay, which school our children should go, managing finances and big-ticket expenditures.  

 

3. Surround yourself with resources and like-minded persons  

Nobody wakes up as a competent parent from day one. Many skills that experienced parents demonstrate today are hard-won from experience or passed down from other parents. Similarly, I had to educate myself in the areas where I lacked. One key way was to leverage modern technologies to accommodate my busy lifestyle. For example, I follow parenting accounts on social media for bite-sized tips and tools which I can absorb on-the-go. 

It is also important to get connected to gain support and learn from others. For example, we got connected with fellow parents of younger children and have regular get-togethers. This exposes us to various styles of parenting, while simultaneously helping us and our children to build lasting friendships. We are also members of online parenting groups where we regularly get advice from on a wide variety of parenting issues.  

“Papa’s home!!”
Every day when I come home, my children shout for joy and run towards me for a giant bear hug. 

This image of my children welcoming me home is seared in my mind and heart. It keeps me going as a father. I once thought that my role as a father was easily replaceable, but this could not be further from the truth; there is no replacement for the role that we play in our family.

To my fellow fathers, if you are struggling with self-doubt over your ability as a father, take heart: At the end of the day, our children do not want a different father, or a “better” father to be at the door. All they want is for their very own Papa to return home to them.

© 2023 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

Raising a Neurodiverse Child: How Can Parents Embrace Its Unique Challenges?

Raising a child with special needs is never an easy feat, but almost certainly a rewarding journey. How can parents embrace the unique challenges that neurodiversity brings?

Join our host, June Yong, as she delves into the personal experiences of Teresa Soon, a mother of 3 and parent to a child with special needs.

They discuss the challenges that come with raising a child who requires additional care and support, as well as the joys and rewards that come with being a caregiver to someone with unique abilities. Teresa also shares insights on how she has navigated motherhood and offers advice for other parents who may be going through similar experiences.

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Should you be a parent in need of help or support, our counsellors are available to lend a listening ear: www.family.org.sg/Counselling

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You can also support us by giving monthly. We appreciate your generous giving as every dollar helps to sustain our efforts in strengthening families. Do note that if you are based in Singapore, one-time gifts above SGD$50 or monthly donations above SGD$10 are eligible for 250% tax-deductible benefits.