Child’s Life Stage: Primary Schooler

Working Mum Burnout: How Do We Recognise the Signs?

Burning out in motherhood is not rare – especially when you are juggling parenting, work, and many other responsibilities all at the same time. As mothers go through the ebb and flow of life, how can they safeguard themselves against burnout?

Join our host June Yong, as she chats with Sharon Ow, a working mum of two daughters. Sharon shares authentically about her experience with burnout, identifies warning signs, and provides practical tips on keeping burnout at bay.

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Parenting is a journey not meant for journeying alone.

Should you be in need of help or support, our counsellors are available to lend a listening ear. Make an appointment with us at www.family.org.sg/Counselling.

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If you have enjoyed this episode, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcast or Podchaser. It’ll be very helpful for others to find our podcast. You can also help us by copying this link www.family.org.sg/parentedpodcast to share with your friends.

You can also support us by giving monthly. We appreciate your generous giving as every dollar helps to sustain our efforts in strengthening families. Do note that if you are based in Singapore, one-time gifts above SGD$50 or monthly donations above SGD$10 are eligible for 250% tax-deductible benefits.

Is the Internet Parenting My Child?

Unlike my generation who grew up with a more gradual pace of technological advancement, my children were born into an age of widespread Internet connectivity, and have hence interacted with the online world from a much younger age.  

One harrowing encounter we had was when we allowed our 4-year-old son to use a smart phone app to help him build with Lego. Moments into scrolling through blueprints, he came over with the phone and asked me for help. It turned out that he had accidentally clicked the subscription button and almost paid the fees for a premium plan!  

Besides this incident, the prominence of Internet technologies in the home exposes our children to other risks, including online safety, graphic content, privacy, and so on. However, such technologies also possess great potential for our children’s development.  

How then do we strike a balance in using technology with our kids? Based on our experiences, we have learnt the following principles: 

1. Lead by example 

Children often reflect their parents’ behaviours, and just as we hope they will pick up our good habits, they also catch our device habits from us. Even if we were attending to important matters on our phones, our children would interpret our actions as valuing device usage over relating to them.  

It is important to first be disciplined with device usage ourselves before expecting it of our children. Hence, we try to remain device-free during specific periods of the day, such as during mealtimes, reading time and playtime. My wife and I also try to ensure each of us have sufficient time to attend to our work responsibilities, so we can be less distracted when it is time to be present with our children. 

As parents, we should be role models of good device usage to our children. 

2. Build socialisation and outdoor time into family routines 

One of the best ways to help the family stay unplugged is to build it into family routines. We meet with family and friends about once or twice a week for playtime and catch-ups. We also take our children outdoors regularly, be it walks in the park, playground time or even errand runs to expose them to active lifestyles. This encourages them to move away from online media and towards physical and social activities.  

However, because we carry the Internet in our pockets, the challenge is limiting device usage while out and about too! We should remind ourselves to keep our phones away as far as possible (unless expecting urgent calls), and immerse ourselves in the moment. 

3. Set reasonable boundaries

With online media being widely available and accessible, it is unrealistic to cut it out of our children’s lives completely. Instead, we aim for moderation by setting reasonable limits on screen time.  

For example, most online content exceeds 5 minutes. If we wouldn’t watch 5 minutes of Netflix at a time, we shouldn’t impose this on our children! A useful benchmark is to stay within guidelines by KKH, which recommends screen time of 1 hour and below per day for children aged 18 months to 3 years.  

There are also child-safe apps that help keep our children safe online. For example, YouTube Kids is curated with age-appropriate content and offers more parental controls than the standard YouTube app. Parents may also use screen-pinning on their phones to prevent children from accessing other apps or functions during screen time.  

When children are meaningfully absorbed in their preferred tools of offline play, they will be less drawn to online entertainment. 

4. Invest in a variety of play methods that suit your children 

When our children are meaningfully occupied with their preferred tools of play, it is easier for them to rely less on devices for entertainment. Our son enjoys playing with Lego, which keeps him offline and occupied for long periods while helping him develop creativity and motor skills. 

It is important to find toys that our children enjoy and that are challenging enough to keep them engaged. For example, we intentionally curate our son’s Lego sets by looking for themes that our son would be interested in, and have an age-appropriate difficulty level.  

5. Take advantage of the benefits of technology

Although the Internet comes with many risks, it is also a powerful educational tool when used appropriately. There are far more educational content options than we ever had in the past.  

We should use this to our advantage as far as possible. Our son has picked up a wide variety of knowledge and skills from watching various programmes online, including art (e.g., drawing and craft), culinary skills (e.g., cooking demonstration videos), language, as well as math and science. When used within healthy limits and with close guidance, online technologies can be a rich source of knowledge and exposure for our children. 

Remaining connected to our children 

It can seem an impossible task to free ourselves from the grip of connectivity in our homes, since there is no manual for how to raise children in the Internet age. At the end of the day, however, technology should be seen as a tool. Our role as parents is to set safe boundaries around the use of technology, manage its risks, and enable our children to draw from its benefits.  

Ultimately, there is no replacement for our role as parents in the family. What our children need to grow into healthy and well-regulated individuals is for us to be present and loving in their lives. In a world where our attention is constantly being competed for, let us challenge ourselves to develop the most important connection of all —that with our children.  

© 2023 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved. 

Conversation Starters for Healthy Sexuality

Talking about sex may seem awkward at first, but as you press on, it will begin to feel more natural.

Our effort to help our children develop a healthy understanding of love, relationships, and sex in marriage, is worthwhile.

As you take the first step towards a lifetime of healthy, wholesome relationships for your child, this eGuide will provide you with tools and tips to keep the conversations going! 

Suitable for parents with children aged 4 to 15 years.

Download PDF now (360.23 KB)

Conversations About Sex Need Not Be So Tough

Research shows that when parents engage their children in topics on sexuality, their children grow to make wiser choices in relationships and sex. To help you overcome your fears in broaching the topic, we have designed a Talk About Sex video series specially for parent and child (aged 7-12) to enjoy, engage with and learn together!
Find out more

Raising Resilient Kids

Building B.O.U.N.C.E for the bumps in life

Raising Resilient Kids

We live in an increasingly fast-paced and competitive society often described as a VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, where the pressure to succeed and perform can leave our children feeling panic-stricken and overwhelmed.

How can we nurture our child’s psychological resilience to better manage stress? Be empowered to emotionally coach your child towards a positive and healthy attitude for learning and living! 

Participants will be equipped with skills to:
1.
Understand your child’s world and potential stressors
2.
Process feelings in a healthy and productive manner
3.
Inculcate values and beliefs that will anchor your child in times of difficulty

Details

Duration: 1 – 1.5 hrs  

Delivery Format: Talks can be conducted either onsite or online via Zoom 

Enquiries:
Find out how you can encourage a growth mindset in your child!

Contact us

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

The ParentEdTM Dialogues

Personalised parenting solutions for your unique child

The ParentEdTM Dialogues

Every child is unique, with their own personality – and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. 

In the ParentEd Dialogues, parents will learn how to take a targeted and intentional approach when parenting each unique child. Each session is led by a Family Coach, who will help parents explore their current parenting challenges, introduce innovative approaches and provide useful feedback to develop real solutions and actions to bring about lasting change in the way you parent! 

Why the ParentEd Dialogues?
1.
Engage with a Family Coach who can guide you in optimising your parenting style
2.
Establish new friendships with like-minded parents in a safe community setting
3.
Equip yourself with fresh perspectives and practical tools to strengthen your parent-child relationship

These dialogue series cover foundational principles that are relevant across all age groups. They promise candid sharing and stimulating conversations among like-minded sojourners on the parenting journey. It’s a great place to acquire timeless principles, priceless perspectives and practical tools for informed, involved and intentional parenting! 

  • Dialogue 1 | The Parent Species: Becoming the parent we want to be 
  • Dialogue 2 | C.S.I – Child Species Investigation: Bringing out the best in your unique child 
  • Dialogue 3 | Creative Correction: Making discipline firm and friendly 
  • Dialogue 4 | High-5s at Home: Nurture the parent-child relationship 

Details

Duration: 4 x 2hr sessions 

Delivery Format: This workshop is to be conducted onsite with min. 10 pax & max. 20 pax.  

Have questions?
Find out how you can empower parent communities!

I'd like to find out more!

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

Raising Relationally-Smart Kids

Parental guidance to talk about sex

Raising Relationally-Smart Kids

Talking about sex can be one of the most daunting tasks for parents, especially if we never had the subject broached with us when growing up. How then can we confidently discuss healthy sexuality, love and relationships with our children?

Discover how you can help your child make wise decisions about their health, relationships, and life!

Participants will be equipped with skills to:
1.
Engage your children in open and honest conversations about sex and relationship
2.
Tackle growing online risks such as pornography and inappropriate content
3.
Empower your children on setting healthy boundaries with their peers

Details

Duration: 1 – 1.5 hrs 

Delivery Format:
Talks can be conducted either onsite or online via Zoom 

Have questions?
Reach out to find out more about this webinar! 

I'm keen to find out more!

Join the Interest List

Registration for this webinar has closed. Please join the Interest List for 2024.

Interest List

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

Fatherhood: Braving a New World

Fatherhood can be exhilarating yet filled with so much uncertainty. How can fathers brave the new world of fatherhood ahead of them?

Join our host, Aaron Ng, who chats with Ian Tan from Our Daily Bread Ministries and father of two sons, aged 3 and 5. Ian shares his journey as a young father navigating and overcoming the unexpected challenges of raising children in an evolving world.

“I’d like to be viewed as someone who is trusted by (my sons) and they will know that for as long as I’m around, the home is a place where you have dad and mum who will always be ready to receive you home, go through different moments of your life with you, whether they’re ups or whether they are downs.”

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Fatherhood is a call to a brave adventure.

This Father’s Day, we want to give dads a boost to keep going and growing in their unique parenting journey, with Call of Daddy: Braveheart.

From 9 to 19 June, Focus on the Family Singapore’s Father’s Day Campaign will feature the following free resources for dads and families:

  • Compilation of stories by dads for dads
  • Digital content for encouragement and equipping
  • Braveheart Quest – an opportunity for dads to deepen bonds with their children through meaningful activities

Find out more about the Father’s Day Campaign at www.family.org.sg/Braveheart.

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If you have enjoyed this episode, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcast or Podchaser. It’ll be very helpful for others to find our podcast. You can also help us by copying this link www.family.org.sg/parentedpodcast to share with your friends.

You can also support us by giving monthly. We appreciate your generous giving as every dollar helps to sustain our efforts in strengthening families. Do note that if you are based in Singapore, one-time gifts above SGD$50 or monthly donations above SGD$10 are eligible for 250% tax-deductible benefits.

Raising Screenwise Kids

Empowering kids to navigate the virtual world

Raising Screenwise Kids

With so much of our children’s time now spent online, how can we raise them to be screenwise and future-ready?

It can be a parent’s greatest challenge to set limits on screentime and boundaries around digital content consumption. Yet if done right, our children can be empowered to consume media wisely.

This webinar is all about creating a healthy, balanced relationship with technology that goes beyond mere rules and restrictions.

Participants will be equipped with skills to:
1.
Establish positive digital habits as a family and enjoy meaningful offline experiences
2.
Set clear and safe boundaries for screen time and online interactions
3.
Navigate tensions and disagreement about screentime

* Available Funding:
This topic is available for funding under the collaboration with Infocomm Media Development Authority (IMDA) Digital for Life Fund*. 

To be eligible for the subsided programme fee, the following requirements are to be met:  

  • Minimum requirement of 20 parents in attendance on actual day.  
  • Minimum requirement of at least 75% of participants to submit programme feedback form after attending the session 

Details

Duration: 1 – 1.5 hrs 

Delivery Format:
Talks can be conducted either onsite or online via Zoom 

Have more questions?
Reach out to find out how you can bring this programme to your workplace or community!

Register your interest

ParentEd is a parent education initiative from Focus on the Family Singapore.

Register Your Interest

Playing to My Strengths As A Father

In today’s world, fathers are increasingly expected to play equal roles with mothers in terms of hands-on care. However, many of us grew up in an age where fathers played more traditional roles, leaving childcare mostly to the mothers. Lacking in role models from their own lives, some fathers may find it intimidating to bond with or care for their little ones, or even struggle to juggle both traditional and modern expectations of fathers.  

As a father to two young children, I too have felt inadequate. I often compared myself with mummy, who seems to tackle modern motherhood effortlessly, whether it was bringing home the bacon, cooking, cleaning, or caring for the children. Her list seems infinitely longer than mine! 

Though self-doubt continues to be a struggle, I have come a long way in building my confidence as a father. A time of personal reflection, as well as regular affirmation from my wife, has led me to realise that as a father, I play a unique and irreplaceable role in the family.  

Here are some ways I have learnt to step up in my role as a father.   

“Parents each have unique interests and personalities that can contributed to enriching our children’s development.“

1. Leverage one’s unique personality and interests  

While it is good for parents to recognise our weaknesses and build on them, it should not blind us to our existing strengths. My wife and I have unique interests and personalities that have contributed to enriching our children’s development.  

In terms of interests, my wife exposes the children to arts and crafts, cooking, and applies her experiences as an educator to help them learn subjects such as English. As for myself, I bring my sense of humour and creativity to playtime and storytelling, expose my children to mechanical and open-ended styles of play through toys such as Lego and Transformers, and introduce them to other interests like coffee-making. 

Personality-wise, my wife brings more energy and spontaneity, and a sense of adventure to our outings together while I bring a tender love and warmth to our relationships, which creates an atmosphere of safety and acceptance in the home.  

“Avoid unhealthy comparisons with other parents, and zero in on each other’s strengths and contributions to the family.“

2. Recognise that we contribute to the family differently

It is human nature to compare ourselves to others, especially in terms of performance and ability. While this can sometimes serve as a benchmark for growth, such comparisons can become toxic when we cling too tightly to unrealistic standards.  

Rather than compete on who is the “better” parent at home, it has been helpful for my wife and I to take time to reflect and affirm each other – and ourselves! – on the different ways we contribute to the family.  

For instance, my wife is better able to juggle the many tasks at home, spanning from household chores to caring for the kids. She is more natural at keeping the house looking fresh and homely, in part by keeping a lookout for good deals on household items. As an educator by profession, she keeps a better pulse on our children’s learning needs and school schedules. Finally, as the more adventurous parent, she keeps abreast of events and activities that the family can enjoy. 

On the other hand, I am better at managing conflicts and meltdowns at home, whether it was between my wife and I or with the children. I am also good at giving the children undivided attention and tuning in to their interests and thoughts, which helps boost their confidence and self-esteem. Finally, I feel better able at guiding the family on making bigger decisions, such as career choices, choosing where to stay, which school our children should go, managing finances and big-ticket expenditures.  

 

3. Surround yourself with resources and like-minded persons  

Nobody wakes up as a competent parent from day one. Many skills that experienced parents demonstrate today are hard-won from experience or passed down from other parents. Similarly, I had to educate myself in the areas where I lacked. One key way was to leverage modern technologies to accommodate my busy lifestyle. For example, I follow parenting accounts on social media for bite-sized tips and tools which I can absorb on-the-go. 

It is also important to get connected to gain support and learn from others. For example, we got connected with fellow parents of younger children and have regular get-togethers. This exposes us to various styles of parenting, while simultaneously helping us and our children to build lasting friendships. We are also members of online parenting groups where we regularly get advice from on a wide variety of parenting issues.  

“Papa’s home!!”
Every day when I come home, my children shout for joy and run towards me for a giant bear hug. 

This image of my children welcoming me home is seared in my mind and heart. It keeps me going as a father. I once thought that my role as a father was easily replaceable, but this could not be further from the truth; there is no replacement for the role that we play in our family.

To my fellow fathers, if you are struggling with self-doubt over your ability as a father, take heart: At the end of the day, our children do not want a different father, or a “better” father to be at the door. All they want is for their very own Papa to return home to them.

© 2023 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

Raising a Neurodiverse Child: How Can Parents Embrace Its Unique Challenges?

Raising a child with special needs is never an easy feat, but almost certainly a rewarding journey. How can parents embrace the unique challenges that neurodiversity brings?

Join our host, June Yong, as she delves into the personal experiences of Teresa Soon, a mother of 3 and parent to a child with special needs.

They discuss the challenges that come with raising a child who requires additional care and support, as well as the joys and rewards that come with being a caregiver to someone with unique abilities. Teresa also shares insights on how she has navigated motherhood and offers advice for other parents who may be going through similar experiences.

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Should you be a parent in need of help or support, our counsellors are available to lend a listening ear: www.family.org.sg/Counselling

If you have enjoyed this episode, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcast or Podchaser. It’ll be very helpful for others to find our podcast. You can also help us by copying this link www.family.org.sg/parentedpodcast to share with your friends.

You can also support us by giving monthly. We appreciate your generous giving as every dollar helps to sustain our efforts in strengthening families. Do note that if you are based in Singapore, one-time gifts above SGD$50 or monthly donations above SGD$10 are eligible for 250% tax-deductible benefits.