Published on 18 March, 2026
Teaching kids empathy starts with modeling emotional awareness, asking open-ended questions about feelings, and guiding them to understand others’ perspectives. Parents can use everyday situations—conversations, books, or conflict moments—to help children recognise emotions and respond with care. Consistency matters more than perfection.
Our culture de-values empathy. Instead, there’s an emphasis on choosing to feed narcissism and apathy. Because of this, it’s more important than ever to teach our kids about empathy.
If you’ve ever had difficulty understanding empathy, you’re not alone. In the past few years, empathy has become a dynamic term to mean a variety of things. At the same time, our culture seemingly de-values empathy instead choosing to cultivate narcissism, apathy, or even hatred. Because of this, it’s more important than ever to teach our kids about empathy.
Teaching kids empathy is essential for their emotional and social development. Empathy means being able to understand and share another person’s feelings—both their joys and their struggles. When practiced thoughtfully, empathy allows us to step into someone else’s experience and offer genuine support and understanding.
Research shows that empathy strengthens relationships, builds trust, and helps children develop resilience and compassion.
Helping kids grow in empathy starts with modeling it ourselves. We can teach them to recognise their own feelings, manage them in healthy ways, and extend that awareness toward others. These skills not only nurture kindness but also equip children to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and care.
As a parent, you are your child’s first role model! Whether they are always engaged or not, they watch, listen, and observe your behaviour more than you know. When teaching your kids about empathy, remember that you can model healthy emotional intelligence.
Help your children learn to manage their internal thoughts and feelings through asking specific questions. Such as: “What are you feeling right now?” or “What makes you feel that way?”
Remember that your tone and facial expressions often convey more meaning than your words.
Alongside asking key questions, be sure to include positive, supportive phrases directed towards your kids. Such as: “I’m so sorry” or “Please tell me more” or “I see how that is hard for you.” These phrases help our kids see that we support them and are present with them.
Aside from asking personal questions and focusing on our kids’ situations, you can use examples such as books, movies, and family members to teach kids about empathy. Use these examples to help your kids practice managing their thoughts and emotions.
Empathy isn’t something you either have or lack. And it rarely is something that automatically develops without intentionality and love.
Your parenting strategies matter. The family culture you create matters. Consider these strategies to support your ability to teach your kids about empathy.
Understand and accept rather than judge
Teaching kids about empathy does not have to be a guessing game. Show your kids that asking caring questions can be their best friend. When someone expresses intense emotions, it’s okay to ask them to explain the situation or their feelings as much as they’re willing to.
Instead of staying silent and choosing to judge someone because of their emotional behaviour, show your kids they can take a moment to think through the situation. Teach your kids to ask themselves questions such as:
Model, then correct
Remember, the goal is not to be perfect. Demonstrate that you are continuing to learn and grow just as you want your kids to develop their empathy. Acts of kindness such as serving others or encouraging your kids will help foster a culture of empathy. Model how to appropriately hold back hurtful comments or filter your social media responses.
Once you’ve established positive moments, then you can help your kids understand disrespectful behaviour. Again, you can use family situations, books, or movies to teach your kids about when others are not empathetic.
Guide and teach, don’t preach
When your kids express their emotions or see other people’s emotions, they’re grappling with new ideas and potential vulnerabilities. These moments are critical to developing your child’s empathy, as well as strengthening your relationship with them.
Avoid lecturing your children on what they should think or feel. Rather, help guide them to unpack their own perspective or point of view. Chances are, your kid might feel confused, scared, or worried.
So, help your child step into the shoes of their friends. Instead of pointing out emotions that others express, ask your child questions such as: “What did their facial expressions tell you about their feelings?” or “What do you think they’re feeling?”
Create a care centre
For younger kids, consider creating a Care Centre to keep in your home or their backpack. Dr. Beck Bailey, founder of the program Conscious Discipline, describes a Care Centre as a simple box containing items to demonstrate empathy. These can include tissues, Band-Aids, or a small stuffed animal. Then, when your kids notice a sibling, friend, or parent who might be crying or seems sad, they can use the Care Centre to show empathy.
Gifting meals to those in need
When neighbours or family members go through tough situations, sometimes making a meal or treat can help encourage them! As a family, think about who you could bless by baking a batch of cookies or making your favourite meal. Then, as a family, drive or walk to their home and deliver the meal to those people in need. Taking it one step further, motivate your kids to write letters of support and encouragement.
Volunteer work as a family
For older kids, getting involved in volunteer work can be an excellent way to teach empathy towards others. Consider your kid’s passions so that they can choose a place to volunteer that they will enjoy. If you’re able, volunteer alongside your kids to show that you support their passions too.
Despite a growing anti-empathy culture, we still can teach our kids about empathy. Cultivating the life skill of empathy takes time. Continue to commit yourself to guiding your kid towards treating others with kindness, encouragement, and empathy.
© 2021 Focus on the Family. Used with permission. Originally published at focusonthefamily.com.
Nelson and Gina
Workshop: March 2026
Nelson and Gina Lee have been accredited facilitators with Focus on the Family Singapore for over a decade, beginning their involvement conducting relationship talks for tertiary students since 2011.
Driven by a passion for nurturing strong relationships, they have extensive experience in facilitating dating workshops for courting couples and pre-marital programmes for those considering marriage. They have also have led marriage retreats designed to deepen connection and commitment among married couples.
