Published on 21 April, 2025
My wife, Andrea, and I got married last year, and we’re expecting our first child in three months. That’s two major life transitions in a single year — all at the tender age of 26!
As I prepare to vote for the first time this coming General Election, the first person I think of is our unborn daughter. It is sobering to know that the choices we make today will shape the Singapore she grows up in tomorrow.
Pregnancy has been a beautiful journey — one of imagining who our daughter might be – what brings her joy, how her eyes will look like, and what kind of world she’ll inherit. And that’s where my heart keeps returning: the kind of Singapore I want her to call home.
Here are six dreams I carry as I prepare to cast my first vote — not just as a citizen, but as a husband and father.
My dream is that my daughter will be defined by more than her academic results. I hope that when she sits for the PSLE, she won’t be crushed by the pressure to perform.
My dream is for my daughter to grow up in a Singapore where generations live in unity, beginning in our homes.
I dream of a family culture where honour flows naturally between the young and old – and this starts with a strong bond with my daughter.
At Chinese New Year, I want my children to give their heartfelt blessing to their elders (our parents), not just to receive an ang bao, but because they truly respect the older generation and the many sacrifices they’ve made for them.
This culture of honouring the older generations starts at home.
Andrea and I are blessed to have our child early in marriage, and her great-grandparents will get to meet her. We believe she will be a bridge between generations – bringing much life and joy to our grandmothers even in their sunset years.
Looking beyond our family, what could inter-generational unity look like in our nation?
Imagine a Singapore where schools, workplaces, and hawker centres are marked by strong bonds and trust between the different generations.
Teachers don’t just teach a subject but nurture the future minds and hearts of our nation, through genuine care for their students. Imagine students expressing genuine appreciation for their teachers and the sacrifices they make for them – whether that’s spending extra time with them after school to help them understand harder concepts, or calling out a hidden strength in them.
Imagine workplaces where interns are mentored, not just instructed to do menial tasks.
Imagine our public places of communion such as the hawker centre, where our children greet the auntie clearing our tables with a genuine smile and a thank you – seeing her as her person, beyond the task she is doing.
This kind of mutual respect doesn’t just happen — it’s built one home, one community, one interaction at a time.
There’s so much more to each person we meet in our daily interactions than just their jobs. I dream of a Singapore where people aren’t solely defined by their work, but we are acknowledged as people.
My dream is that my daughter will be defined by more than her academic results. I hope that when she sits for the PSLE, she won’t be crushed by the pressure to perform.
I hope she’ll grow up in a school ecosystem that partners with us to shape her character, beyond her grades. Where teachers see her as a whole person, not just a student.
I want to receive a call not just when she’s in trouble, but when she helps a classmate, or displays sportsmanship at a competition.
The Edusave Character Award and Edusave Award for Achievement, Good Leadership and Service show that our schools values leadership and character, not just good grades.
But more can be done, starting in our homes.
Maybe then, festive gatherings will have conversations that go beyond, “Which school are you in?” or “How well did you do for your exams?” – to include questions like, “How are you enjoying learning in school? What’s something interesting your teacher taught you lately?”
When our conversations shift from performance to the love of learning and discovery, we will notice a slow shift in how we talk about children – to focus more on their process, beyond the results.
The other day, my wife and I were queuing to pay for our food at Muji café, and I noticed the service staff were wearing name tags. When it was our turn to pay, I looked him in the eye and with a big smile, thanked him by name.
He paused for a few seconds, before breaking into a smile, and proceeded to return me my change.
I’m guessing it took him a while to register that to me, he was not just the guy serving me my food, but he was a human with a name and a story.
There’s so much more to each person we meet in our daily interactions than just their jobs. I dream of a Singapore where people aren’t solely defined by their work, but we are acknowledged as people.
I want my daughter to grow up knowing that purpose isn’t just in productivity, and that every role—from the hawker aunty to Grab delivery rider to the business owner—has dignity.
I want her to know that being a good friend, a kind neighbour, or a daughter matters just as much as landing a high-paying job.
And this mindset has to be first shaped at home.
I want to affirm my daughter how beautiful and loved she is, to whisper to her daily that she is cherished by her father. Beyond her academic achievements and career choices, I want to commend her effort, her choices, and her dreams.
I hope my daughter will grow up knowing the love of a father. I want to be both physically and emotionally present with her, especially in her formative years.
My family just secured our Build to Order Flat (BTO) a few months back, and we are excited to build our first home as the Ong family.
As we were looking at the HDB models while selecting our flat, we couldn’t help but dream of where our kids would play, who our neighbours would be, and which school she would attend.
Here in Singapore, we are so privileged to have a community to work, play and rest in –whether that’s in our housing estate, in school, or our faith community. With an ecosystem of support, my daughter will grow up to have wholesome influences in her life beyond our home.
In school, her teachers and coaches will sharpen her skills academically, in sports and the arts.
In our community and extended family, she will have mentors and family members who would love her and develop her in ways beyond what my wife and I can offer.
In our estate, she will make good friends at the playground and befriend the uncles and aunties in our neighbourhood.
In such a safe and supportive environment, hopefully other families will also be thriving. When families flourish, children grow up with a deep sense of security, belonging, and purpose. This is where our daughter to develop a strong sense of identity and belonging—first at home, then in our local community, and in our nation Singapore.
After all, it takes a village to raise a child, and we know we cannot do it on our own!
We need narratives that celebrate faithful marriages. We need good and committed mentors in the community who will walk young couples through the tough seasons, not just marriage preparation.
I hope my daughter will grow up knowing the love of a father.
I want to be both physically and emotionally present with her, especially in her formative years. I want to be the kind of father who listens, protects, provides, teaches, and plays with her.
There’s a unique confidence a child carries when they know the strength of a father. They are deeply secure and confident in their identity, and more resilient when navigating life’s complexities.
In our culture, mothers have predominantly played the role of the caregiver, but things are slowly beginning to shift as fathers are becoming equally involved as mothers.
Even in our workplace policies, paternity leave has been increased to four weeks, the shared parental leave scheme has been introduced, and beyond that, my workplace has a suite of other family-friendly workplace policies.
Beyond policy, I hope that the culture in Singapore will be one which values the role of a father.
I have experienced this at my hospital visits to KKH – where the doctors affirmed my attitude when I displayed a keenness to find out more about my wife’s pregnancy and how to support our growing baby.
Let’s continue to build the ecosystems that support fathers—workplaces that champion paternity leave, community groups that equip and supports fathers, and media that portray strong father figures who lead their families with strength and love.
I dream that marriage will once again be a hopeful and desirable milestone for young Singaporeans.
I know marriage isn’t easy. But with the right preparation and support, it brings much stability to children, and strength to our society.
We need narratives that celebrate faithful marriages. We need good and committed mentors in the community who will walk young couples through the tough seasons, not just marriage preparation.
And we need policies that support couples as they begin married life—affordable housing, child support, and family-friendly workplaces.
Andrea and I chose to get married young, because we desired to build a shared life early. We have found that commitment and a shared vision can weather even the hardest days and our hardest fights, but that’s a story for another day.
If our daughter sees a marriage marked by grace and forgiveness, hopefully she might one day desire the same.
As I prepare to cast my vote in GE2025, I carry these dreams with me — not just as a citizen, but as a husband and father.
Singapore is not perfect. But it is our home. If we build well — with honour, love, and courage — I believe our children will inherit a nation worth loving.
And that’s a future I look forward to.
