1. Build in age-appropriate supervision

Before giving your child a mobile device with Internet access, think about the level of supervision and controls that are appropriate for your child’s age and level of maturity.  

Primary school-aged children (7 to 9 years old) 

• As children of this age may not be aware of the risks of exploring the online world, we should consider adopting parental controls such as Google Family Link and Qustodio on our home computers and devices. 

• At the same time, recognise that no parental control app is fool proof, so do keep an eye on children at this age whenever they have screen time.  

• Children at this age do not need mobile phones. 

Tweens (10 to 12 years old) 

• Tweens may begin using the Internet for schoolwork. So, we will need to have conversations about the work they need to do online and agree on the boundaries for use. 

• Some tweens may ask to get a social media account because their friends have them but may not have the maturity to manage issues such as peer pressure and cyber bullying. 

Teen and late teen years (13 to 18 years old) 

• As teens and late teens begin to utilise the internet for a variety of uses such as communication and homework, it may be impractical to maintain control simply through parental monitoring apps.  
• Conversations and connecting with them over their hobbies and interests will begin to play a bigger role in understanding their needs and usage of screens. The goal should also gradually shift to helping them learn to self-manage their time and priorities.

2. Talk about the dangers and benefits

When we think ‘internet dangers’, the list seems to grow with each passing year. Recent issues like deepfake pornography, online bullying, and fake news are dominating the headlines. So, it’s important to lay out the potential harms that certain parts of the internet can inflict to children just starting to enter widespread internet culture and go over the ways they can safeguard themselves. 

3. Establish what’s good and what isn’t

When grappling with issues like body image, sexuality, and dating, it can be hard for your child to separate good ideas from not-so-good ones, especially when social media portrays a plethora of diverse views.  

Ongoing but small conversations can arm your child with the increasing ability to recognise safe and unsafe scenarios. 

Primary school-aged children (7 to 9 years old) 

• Discussions with children from this age group should aim to protect them from common online threats such as online grooming, cyberbullying, and scams. 

• Additionally, talk about online etiquette and digital literacy, such as how to differentiate between credible news sources and fake news or sensationalism. 

Tween years (10 to 12 years old) 

• Tweens are at the beginning of their adolescent years and may be particularly susceptible to online/peer influences, so it is not helpful for them to be exposed to overly sexualised images. 

• Conversations about the different forms of cyberbullying may come in handy, as well as a basic idea of gender/sexuality. 

Teen and late teen years (13 to 18 years old) 

• Teens and late teens are at the stage of experimentation and have lots of questions surrounding their identity and sexual orientation.  

• Although teens are more independent and do not need, nor appreciate, our constant supervision, they still desire our presence, affirmation and attention. Use these years as an opportunity to share values about love and relationships with them. 

4. Build in-person connections

This one can be a little tricky, given the ubiquity of social media and that some people may genuinely find it difficult to make friends in real life. 

Social media tends to hide imperfections that children might’ve learned to accept if they met them in person such as acne, scars, or unusual talking habits.  

While you may not be able to control how physically social your child is, engaging with them in social activities such as sports, dinners or video games allows for meaningful dialogue between the two of you. Alternatively, facilitate parties/hangouts with his or her friends. 

5. Listen more than you speak!

Children are constantly growing, and the advice your child follows today may be questioned tomorrow.  

However, it’s still important that your child feels safe and accepted when they share their thoughts with you or seek advice from you—especially when they are discovering novel things on the internet that they might not be able to handle alone. 

Dominic Tan is a 17-year-old JC1 student in a local Junior College, who can be found sleeping, composing, and designing board games when he’s not busy studying for the exams.