3 May, 2024 – Being a mother is one of the most unique journeys one can take, filled with experiences that are special and precious. 

There is nothing quite like the feeling of holding your newborn for the first time, the wonder of seeing the world through the eyes of your little explorer, or the delight that comes with witnessing the ways your child is growing. 

At the same time, it comes with inevitable challenges that stretch one’s capacity like never before. On top of the physical exhaustion that mothers often experience, doubt, feelings of inadequacy and discouragement are not unfamiliar to mums. 

Joey Ong, 30, a mother of three young children aged 5, 3 and 1, can certainly relate to experiencing difficult seasons in parenthood – especially when she became a mum for the first time. 

In the early days of motherhood, she used to impatiently seek the next milestone, looking for the momentary relief between sleep regressions and leaps, trying to avoid discomfort where possible. 

She shared, “While things did get better, it most certainly would get worse again.” 

Cycles of improvement and setback left her disappointed and defeated, turbulent and easily triggered by the smallest obstacles. 

But Joey is grateful for the pivotal role her mother has played in shaping her character and attitudes when faced with challenges. 

Witnessing how her mum single-handedly and sacrificially raised her with whatever that she had, Joey attests, “She has shown me what true strength looks like, and often reminded me that when bad things happen to us, we can choose how we want to respond.” 

“While weathering the many storms of parenting, the last thing we need is a spirit of discouragement and defeat. I am learning to trust and enjoy the process, even when things aren’t ‘better’ yet,” she mused. 

Believing that discomfort is a good teacher and an opportunity for growth, she added, “These storms will always pass. No matter how terrible things may look or feel, we have an opportunity to reset every day.” 

===== 

For Mary Heng, 47, a mother of three teenagers, parenting a daughter with special needs adds another dimension to her understanding and journey of trusting the process. 

When her youngest child, Kayleen, was born and officially diagnosed with Down syndrome, her world came crashing down. 

“Guilt came over me as I wondered if I had done something wrong to cause this condition,” she recalled. 

Due to the condition Kayleen has, delayed developmental milestones were inevitable. Many aspects that are seemingly easy to achieve with neuro-typical children require a lot of time and attention in Kayleen’s case. 

Mary shared, “Kayleen has had severe feeding difficulties since she was young and still attends feeding therapy. During the times when she had to rely on the feeding tube to get nutrition, I almost gave up the hope that one day, she would be able to eat the same food as us during mealtimes.”

From persevering through 2-hour long breastfeeding sessions to help Kayleen strengthen her oral muscles for speech development, to spending hours with her at physiotherapy to improve her muscle tone and strength, Mary continues to devote time and effort into her 12-year-old’s growth and progress. 

And she has been able to savour the fruits of her enduring love.  

“Kayleen has shown the family that she is much more than what we ignorantly perceived her to be. With her smiles and coos, she unites our family, and her siblings adore her,” she mused. 

“When her speech improved, she often tells our family how much she loves us and that I’m the ‘best mummy in the whole world.’ During her hospital visits, I often find her talking to the elderly and encouraging them. When she sees a child in need of comfort, she willingly offers a hug and kind words.”

She reflected, “I trust that God makes all things beautiful in its time. Watching Kayleen enjoy the tamagoyaki that I prepared for her, as she shares about her day at school, is indeed a beautiful sight that I’ve been blessed with.” 

======

These stories of mothers learning to trust the process in their unique journeys are part of this year’s Mother’s Day campaign by Focus on the Family Singapore, which aims to encourage mothers that all their efforts of sowing into their motherhood journey will bring growth “All in Good Time”. 

The charity has prepared resources for mums to discover the ways they can trust the process in motherhood, through uplifting and practical bite-sized digital content. Mothers will find comfort in reading stories of fellow mums who are on their journey of embracing all that motherhood has for them. These can be readily accessed at www.family.org.sg/AllinGoodTime. 

Family members and communities surrounding mums will also get to play a part in encouraging and affirming mums through the Timeless Bouquet—a digital affirmation card tool—and with a thoughtfully created Instagram story filter.