Published on 13 January, 2025
As busy parents, it can be challenging to constantly supervise all of our children’s online activities. However, it remains all the more crucial to keep watch over our kids. In today’s digital age, it’s not uncommon for children to accidentally stumble upon inappropriate content online, including porn.
If your child comes to you after chancing upon inappropriate content, it’s important to handle the situation with care and understanding. Here are some tips on how to manage such a conversation.
Breathe. It’s crucial to remain calm and composed as our reactions will set the tone for the conversation and determine whether our children feel safe enough to come to us, when such incidents occur.
Ask open-ended questions to understand what they saw and how they felt about it. This helps in gauging their level of understanding and emotional state.
Some examples of questions you can ask: What did the image or video show? How long did the video play for? How did it make you feel?
A person’s private parts are meant to be kept private. If you see such images again, do tell mummy or daddy so we can keep you safe.
Help your child process what they saw. Avoid giving too much detail but do be honest in order to build trust.
If your child is a preschooler, and does not seem to remember or understand what they saw, avoid scolding or shaming them.
However, emphasise that inappropriate content abound on the internet and boundaries will have to be set and adhered to, in order to keep them safe. Use statements like, “A person’s private parts are meant to be kept private. If you see such images again, do tell mummy or daddy so we can keep you safe.”
If your child is in primary school, you should highlight the dangers of watching inappropriate material, including porn addiction and normalizing or mimicking the sexual behaviours they see online.
For more handles on how to talk about porn, register to access our Talk About Sex Video Series.
Reassure your child that they are not in trouble and that it is okay to talk about anything with you. Let them know it’s a normal part of growing up to be curious and/or to have sexual feelings.
Use this opportunity to educate them about online safety and the importance of not sharing personal information or clicking on unknown links. Discuss and set rules of when and how your child can use mobile devices with internet connection. It is also a good idea to install parental controls on all devices in the home and use these tools to keep them safe.
Creating a safe and open environment at home encourages our children to feel comfortable approaching us with any issues they encounter, whether online or offline.
