前线追踪 | 校园发生命案 专家:让孩子慢慢地理解这次事件 (RVHS Incident: Experts Say to Let Young Ones Come to Terms Slowly)

校园发生命案 专家:让孩子慢慢地理解这次事件 (RVHS Incident: Experts Say to Let Young Ones Come to Terms Slowly)

《前线追踪》Frontline
Republished with Permission
23 July 2021

采访摘录, 从04:41 开始:

[辅导员庄贻杰]
现代青少年面临的心理压力主要来自哪里?如何帮助青少年排解压力和不良情绪,避免悲剧发生?

  • 自我要求期望带来的压力
  • 家庭和家庭环境的压力
  • 课业和学习的压力
  • 朋友,社交群体上的压力

据帮助过的辅导案例,青少年都透露说家庭和社交群体的理解和给予的安全空间 (safe space) 是很重要的。青少年不但要好学习疏解压力的方式,也得学习认知自己的情绪爆发导火线 (emotional triggers), 那才可以更好采取策略来预防。

预防良药还是从家庭环境开始。家长身为第一道防线。 亲子关系不要脱节 - 无论多忙都需要抽出时间与孩子互动,沟通,交流,去了解孩子的内心世界,观点。

家长和家庭环境非常重要 - 亲子关系和家庭必须保持安全空间给一家人。有信任,安全感,良好沟通,同理理解等等。鼓励孩子坦诚说出心里的感受 (honesty)。

沟通技巧 - 不要整天唠叨审问孩子为什么。试着理解和聆听孩子的内心世界。少讲多听,听不是为了回应而是为了理解,给予同理。放下家长身段,从孩子的角度去看事务。

Excerpts from the interview, from 04:41 onwards:

The stresses that our children face today include:

  • Pressure from self-demanding expectations
  • Pressure from family and/or the family environment
  • Academic pressures
  • Pressures from society or social circles

According to our experiences of interacting with youths and counseling cases that we’ve seen, young people have consistently articulated the need and importance of having the understanding of their family, especially, in providing them a safe space to process their emotions and thoughts without judgement.

A preventive and upstream approach to dealing with such situations often begins with the family environment. Parents are the first line of defense in nurturing and establishing a strong parent-child connection. It is key that parents take time to interact and communicate with the aim of understanding their child's inner world and perspectives. A strong parent-child relationship forms the foundation for parents to convey the important values and rules around the child’s media habits

Parents must create a safe space at home where there is trust, a sense of security, good communication and empathy.

We encourage parents to refrain from nagging or interrogating the children but instead gently checking in on them, approaching them with the intention to listen actively, and to allow them to talk about their thoughts and feelings honestly. There is also no need to rush into the conversation, but let your child know that you are always available for them to come to you for support or when they are ready to share. When we put ourselves in the shoes of our children and listen to understand instead of listening just to respond to what they are saying, it will become easier to acknowledge and validate their emotions too.

 

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