Columbus may be a rule-bound neurotic, but he’s alive in an apocalyptic world full of the walking dead, and that’s quite a feat.
He’s currently living in the White House. And he sleeps in the Lincoln Bedroom with his pretty-but-tough-as-nails girlfriend, Wichita, who’s as sly and hard-edged as he is soft and ticklish.
Sharing their spacious, well-appointed abode is Columbus’ best bud, Tallahassee. He’s a redneck guy who gets a kick out of massacring zombies with any vehicle or destructive weapon he can get his hands on. In fact, it’s his favourite pastime, other than sitting in the Oval Office and puffing on left-behind cigars.
And then there’s Wichita’s younger sister, Little Rock. She’s a nice kid, but you can see she’s a little restless. She’d like to go and meet someone her own age to hang out with. But the pickings are pretty slim. Any teen guys these days would more likely eat you as a snack than take you out for one.
There’s a new strain of zombies popping up in the world. Some are slow and as dumb as a brick, dubbed Homers. But some are a lot smarter; Hawkings are zombies that somehow have gotten bright enough to make it past electronic locks and other complicated barriers. And the Ninja zombies are even stealthy in their brain munching kills.
It’s all a bit unnerving and scary at times. But that’s the new reality that Columbus and his makeshift family are facing together.
One thing’s for sure: It’s not boring. I mean, it keeps the adrenaline (and blood) flowing.
It’s obvious that the central characters care for one another. They fight together, facing great danger to keep one another alive.
Even though he’s a pretty brusque guy who doesn’t share his feelings easily, Tallahassee looks upon Little Rock like a daughter. He puts himself on the line to protect her and others.
Columbus even asks Wichita to marry him, even though his proposal sends her into a bit of a panic: “Married people only do one thing,” she replies. “Get divorced!”
Little Rock’s top displays quite a bit of cleavage. Columbus and Wichita kiss. And though we never see them in a sexually romantic embrace, we do see her in bed. And she forces Columbus to cover Lincoln’s eyes (in a nearby portrait) before they have sex.
Later on, Columbus and Madison kiss and end up in the same bed. She pushes him down and straddles him (while clothed) before the camera cuts away. From an adjoining room, we hear them having sex.
Tallahassee meets a love interest as well. He and Nevada kiss and we see her (apparently unclothed but covered) in bed the next morning.
If we were to address all the bloody deaths and explosions of blood and guts on screen, the list would be very, very long. Suffice to say that obliterating human-like things is the prime source of action in this film. Literally hundreds upon hundreds of zombies get crushed and ripped apart in the goriest of ways.
Male and female undead are shot and stabbed in the eyes and mouth. Heads are hacked at with axes and blown off, and the remaining corpses run on with necks spurting. Eyes, arms and legs are ripped off. Numerous large explosions destroy scores of zombies and vehicles. In one scene, a monster truck rips its way through hundreds of zombies, mashing them into pulp.
A new super-tough zombie, dubbed the T-800, requires many explosives to put down. We see Columbus and Tallahassee fight with several of them. Repeated gun shots to the heads and bodies of these creatures send blood and chunks of flesh flying.
We also see people bitten and then violently transforming into zombies. Living people are thrown around and thumped heavily in the head and torso.
CRUDE OR PROFANE LANGUAGE
Nearly 40 f-words (including four paired with “mother”) and 10 s-words are mixed in with uses of “a--,” “d--n” and “h---.” We also hear several crude references to male genitals, and someone makes an offensive hand gesture.
DRUG AND ALCOHOL CONTENT
After Little Rock meets Berkeley, she asks if he has any marijuana; he holds up a huge bag full of the stuff. They smoke and get high together. Tallahassee smokes several cigars and drinks as well.
There are several jokes about drug use in the dialogue.
The ads for this Zombieland sequel crow proudly about the fact that it is stitched together by the director of Venom and the writers behind Deadpool. That alone ought to give you a pretty good idea of the kind of chortle-over-flying-intestines stuff you’ll find in this movie.
Sure, there are plenty of pop-culture quips and tongue-in-cheek winks flying around while things explode and ricochet. But Zombieland: Double Tap goes nowhere and does nothing. It’s little more than a gory giggle-barf. If you’re looking for more than that, you’d better prepare to be disappointed.
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This review was adapted from Plugged In: the entertainment guide your family needs to make family appropriate decisions through movie reviews, book reviews, TV reviews, and more.