Sex in marriage has always had a bad reputation because of the belief that marriage-sex can be boring and mundane. Countless jokes have even been made about the non-existence of any married person’s sex life.
However, the reality is that sex in a marriage can grow better with time, just like fine wine!
Sex in marriage goes beyond the fulfillment of a physical need because the act of intimacy between a husband and wife also serves to affirm the deep connection we have with each other. The journey towards a better sex life in marriage must begin long before the act of physical intimacy itself.
The journey towards a better sex life in marriage must begin long before the act of physical intimacy itself.
Here are some tips on how to keep the passion sizzling.
1. Keep connected
The foundation of any relationship is built upon the sharing of thoughts and the honest exchange of feelings. It is common for the busyness of our daily schedules to distract us from authentically connecting with each other. Busyness makes it possible for married couples to reside under the same roof yet live separate lives.
Taking the time to talk about your day, share your feelings and listen to each other will help maintain this crucial connection in your relationship.
The foundation of any relationship is built upon the sharing of thoughts and the honest exchange of feelings.
2. Discover each other afresh
Make space to enjoy each other’s company outside of the home – be it with regular date-nights or occasional getaways without the kids. Use the time to reminisce your dating days and remember why you chose to get married in the first place.
While savouring new food or exploring new places, you may discover something you never knew about your spouse. This sense of newness and discovery is actually essential to any marriage relationship.
3. Develop mutual trust
Practise tenderness and affection in your daily interactions. These habits go a long way in nurturing a couple’s sense of belonging to each other. Make it a habit to encourage and support your spouse through challenges and trials, big and small. This helps to establish an environment of trust and security, a key ingredient to enhancing your sex life.
Encourage and support your spouse through challenges and trials. This helps to establish an environment of trust and security, a key ingredient to enhancing your sex life.
Working out the kinks in life together, celebrating successes and breaking through the monotony of daily life are all stepping stones towards greater intimacy in your marriage.
Understand that your sex life is actually an extension of the intimacy within your marriage, and cannot be viewed separately from the basics of relational trust, friendship and connection.
Every positive intimate encounter can build on the one before and grow your sex life into one that is not only mutually enjoyable, but also one that adds richness and contentment to your marriage as you both journey in life together.
© 2019 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.
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Sue-Ann Lee is a mother of three spirited and hilarious children who have nicknamed themselves, Rainbow Skye, Chubbs Salami and Fatti Spaghetti. Writing about her parenting experiences brings her great joy as it allows her to relive the many precious lessons learnt along the way.