How To Build a Strong Marriage That Lasts

Teamwork helps you and your spouse forge a strong union.

By June Yong | 10 April, 2018

Many couples start off strong, endeavouring to work hard hand-in-hand to keep the love alive. But when life’s challenges spring up and strain the relationship, we often find ourselves discouraged.

We know it takes effort from both husband and wife to make a marriage work, but what does teamwork look like in a marriage? Here are a few pointers we can apply to our own marriage.

Play to each other’s strengths

Marriages gain strength when we are able to set our egos aside and learn to leverage on each other’s strengths. My husband is better in finance, so he manages the family budget. Since he’s also a more rational problem-solver, so I make it a point to consult his views before making big decisions that may impact the whole family. As I am the intuitive one, I tend to keep a better pulse of what’s going on in our children’s lives, and will often flag issues before they snowball into bigger problems.

Keep wooing each other in marriage

Couples who remain loving do not leave it to chance; they work hard at keeping the love and romance alive in marriage.

A couple we know bought smart watches to stay connected in their quest to get fit. They would send texts through the day to cheer each other on whenever they get notifications on the amount of calories burnt.

Don’t allow complacency to creep into our marriage. Make an effort to surprise our spouses, and try new things together, be it taking a cooking lesson together or going on a ski trip.

Shift our mindset from “me” to “we”

For the higher goal of building and strengthening the relationship, sometimes sacrifices are needed. When we give up something for our spouse's sake, we communicate that our marriage is more important that our personal ambitions and dreams.

Acts of sacrifice — sprinkled freely throughout a marriage — make love richer and deeper.

Acts of sacrifice make love richer and deeper.

Call for time-out regularly

Regularly taking time off our busy schedules ensures that we have more opportunities to connect with each other. This is invaluable for building up our marriages.

Don't be afraid to ask for help with babysitting; enjoy date nights without feeling guilty for leaving the kids behind. My husband and I now try to take a short retreat every year, just so that we can re-focus on our marriage, reflect on our experiences, and adjust our expectations.

Be your spouse’s biggest fan

Be generous with compliments and encouragement for our spouse. Let them know that we believe in them, and are cheering them on.

Don’t underestimate the power of saying “thank you” to our spouse and showing gratitude daily —no matter how small the act of service is. These little words can enhance the relationship and help us to focus on our life partner’s good points.

When personal flaws surface and bring tension into the marriage, work on forgiving quickly. View each other with compassionate eyes and seek to understand their point of view first before asserting yours.

Don’t underestimate the power of saying “thank you” to your spouse.

A marriage is living and growing; the odds of having a winning marriage is far greater when both partners put in the teamwork needed.

When we enter into marriage committed to work in partnership, and to celebrate our spouse’s good points and forgive the bad, we are in a stronger position to forge a loving and strong marriage that will last a lifetime.

© 2018 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

This article was adapted and republished with permission from StyleXStyle.

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